| I don't know whether to be furious, frustrated, or saddened by the presidential election. All I can say with certainly is that it's been the least presidential campaign that I've ever seen. |
| You left out "embarrassed." |
| That's not a word you use very often. Especially since it's almost impossible to embarrass you as you never seem to care what people think about you. |
| I am not embarrassed for me personally; I am embarrassed for all Americans. Between the number of COVID-19 deaths, the civil unrest, and the presidential campaign, our country's reputation has taken a major hit. |
| Well, the first presidential debate definitely didn't help. You would've been rolling your eyes at me if you had been at my house. I was actually talking, and at some points, shouting, at the TV. I knew I could just walk away but felt compelled to stay because I was hoping that the debate would provide useful information. I wanted to better understand the candidates' platforms and especially their plans to get us through all these crises. |
| Instead, you just got a better understanding of their personalities, the showmanship of politics, and the challenges of moderating a debate when the rules are ignored. |
| No kidding! I appreciate that people want their presidential debates to be entertaining, but they're also supposed to help undecided voters get clarity, and help all of us better evaluate the candidates. And by that, I mean their substance, not their style! |
| Actually, it is a mix of the two. A successful debate delivers factual information using strong presentation skills, but also has an element of cleverness and maybe even a little theatrics. |
| Says the debate queen. I've lost track of how many conversations with you feel more like a debate. |
| That is because I think of debate as sport. However, regardless of whether it is a debate or a conversation, it should always be civil and respectful. You love history. When was the first televised presidential debate? |
| That's easy. 1960 between JFK and Nixon. And that's when things started to change. Instead of a campaign focused purely on policy and critical issues, it began to highlight the candidate's public image. |
| Exactly. So, if you were a media or PR consultant, who would you have preferred as your client – a young handsome senator from an established family or a highly-qualified hollow-eyed lawmaker who had been vice president for eight years? |
| Sounds like a trick question. |
| Not really. I was pointing out how different the candidates were from each other, and how their "selling points" were more than just their experience. You can see why the "packaging" of politicians became so critical. And, strategic. |
| Yes, but even without watching the JFK and Nixon debate, I'm confident they had one thing in common – to treat the other with respect and civility. |
| Of course. Each was trying to convince voters they were the better candidate to be president so each had to project a presidential persona. But, being statesmanlike does not mean you cannot point out weakness or mistakes. It means you do it without being rude or demeaning. |
| And if you want to be really clever, you can beat your opponent to the punch. I remember when President Reagan was seeking to become the oldest president to win reelection and in the debate with Walter Mondale said, "I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience." I know that the line was probably scripted in advance, but even Mondale laughed. |
| It was a great line, delivered with style and charisma. Which is why it has been remembered all these years, even after people have forgotten whatever else may have been said. Now, what will people remember from this year's campaign? |
| Are you asking big picture or specific sound bites? I can't speak for others, and rather not point out specific comments, but I'll never forget how ugly the debate was. I was totally turned off by the whole thing. It provided no value whatsoever and if there was anything of substance, it was lost in the chaos. |
| I almost turned it off. The only reason I kept watching was I wanted to hear everything in real time and in context, not edited soundbites. And, no editorial. |
| I heard several commentators saying how children watching it had left in tears and how many parents were having to console them and do their best to explain things. |
| I have no idea how to explain it. Full stop. Yet alone to children. |
| I'm so grateful that my girls are old enough that I didn't have to explain it to them. But at the same time, I'm so angry that they're experiencing this. I wish they could experience what it used to be. What it's supposed to be. Arguments, yes. Differences, absolutely. But not a total disregard for other people's opinions. And a total lack of civility and respect. |
| I fully appreciate the theater and spectacle of today's political arena, but at the risk of showing my age, some things – including statesmanship – never go out of style. |
| Want to bet on that? |
| No. But, I am willing to debate it with you. |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
Photo by michaelmjc on iStock
No matter the reason for a garage sale – whether to get rid of things you’re not using anymore, an attempt to declutter, or estate sale “leftovers” – they can be about so much more than just “stuff”. And is why we’re rerunning one of Red’s favorite posts. Plus, Saturday’s National Garage Sale Day. (Yes, that’s a real thing.)
| Thanks for the accounting of your garage sale. But, given how many hours you spent preparing for it, and then the actual sale itself, did you calculate how much you“earned” on a $/hour basis? |
| No, all I know is that it seemed to take forever to go through everything in Mom’s house and decide what to keep, what to sell, what to donate. And what to trash. As far as the garage sale, I’ll give you your half the next time I see you. |
| Keep my half. You did all the work. I did not even offer to help. |
| And that was a big help. Thank you. |
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io
red headassets.rebelmouse.io | Obviously, you must be exhausted because you are making no sense. |
| Sorry, but I have a specific way of running garage sales, and the last thing I needed was another “cook in the kitchen”. |
| Not a good analogy as “cook” is a four-letter word that I do not use. |
| Cute. But seriously, I knew if I had asked you to help, you would’ve. But I can only imagine how you’d have reacted when you first saw all the stuff for sale. Especially as I treat garage sales as a way to get rid of items that I know have very little value. I’m not trying to maximize the money I make; I’m just trying to make the stuff “go away”. In fact, I don’t even put prices on them. |
| That all makes sense. Except for not having everything pre-priced. That would drive me crazy. How do you know what to charge people? |
| It’s an experience thing and another reason why I didn’t ask you to help. I have a sense of prices, but not something I could quantify in advance. When someone arrives, I tell them that everything’s cheap and give them an example. They usually look at me like, “Wow, she means it.” And then I tell them to collect what they wantand that I promise to give them a good price. And I do. |
| Is that why you and Mom never had joint garage sales? I cannot imagine she would let you determine prices on the spot. |
| Actually, she’s the one who “taught” me not to price things. That if someone picks up something or you see them looking at it, they’re interested. And that’s all you need to know. Where we differed was in how much to charge. To her, it was fun, but also a way to make money. To me, a garage sale isn’t my retirement account. It’s my way to get rid of stuff, especially big, bulky stuff. |
| In other words, people are paying you to haul off your trash. Or, save you trips taking stuff to your local thrift stores. |
| Exactly. Although I still take a lot of items to thrift stores that would probably sell for a decent price at a garage sale because I believe in what they’re doing, and I know that my donations make a difference. But I forgot how fun a garage sale can be, meeting people and laughing, just making connections, and knowing that someone will now enjoy and/or use your things. Or, in this case, Mom’s things. |
| Is there a particular age group that came to your garage sale? |
| It was truly a mix of people. Not counting the kids tagging along with their parents, which reminded me of when the girls would set up a lemonade stand to benefit Make-A-Wish at my garage sales years ago, they ranged from 20-somethings to senior citizens. But I’m almost afraid to ask why you asked. |
| I will not get into studies and statistics, but younger people are really into the environment and reusing older things, especially clothing (which is one of the three “new” R’s – reduce– reuse – recycle). So, garage sales, along with thrift stores, are becoming more popular than ever. |
| I love it! And the idea of so many of Mom’s things, now that she’s passed, will get to live on and be enjoyed by others. |
| At the risk of sounding like a MasterCard commercial, there are some things that money cannot buy. Like sentimental value and fond memories. |
| I know. Which is why the process of sorting everything was so time-consuming. Interestingly, when that came up in conversation during the garage sale, so many people could relate and then shared their own stories. It was as if they wanted me to know that Mom’s things were getting a good home. |
| Well, if you add that to the cash you made, it sounds like a very successful garage sale. Hopefully, the next sale, being an estate sale with larger and higher-priced items, will be as successful. And, although I tried to get you to use a professional“estate sale” company that would do everything for you, I am beginning to understand why you decided to do it yourself. |
| The hardest part was culling and organizing, and there was no way I’d let strangers go through all of Mom’s things. And the internet makes “advertising” the sale and posting items online very easy. All-in-all, there’s no reason we can’t do it ourselves. |
| We?! |
| Yes, because your ability to combine photos into a single image and correct my grammar is important. But your spreadsheets will be critical. |
| Now, that I can do. |
"Too Darn Hot" - Kiss Me Kate | Ann Miller (HD Print)
Regardless of why summers are getting hotter and hotter … they are. Which is miserable for everyone. But, don’t sweat it, we’re rerunning this post as a reminder of what you can do to make the heat just a little more bearable – for you and others. Plus, Red loves the movie clip …
| I know everyone’s talking about the record-setting temperatures because everyone’s experiencing them, but I’m so tired of it being so damn hot out. Or, should I say “too darn hot,” in honor of one of my favorite all-time musicals, “Kiss Me, Kate”? |
| You said it was worse when you lived in Hong Kong and Shanghai because there was little difference between day and evening temperatures and humidity. At least here, it cools off a little once the sun goes down. |
| But not enough. I know I’m getting older, so that doesn’t help, but the heat seems more oppressive, and I’m not only lethargic but cranky. |
| I think the correct word is … crankier. But, if it makes you feel any better, research provides a legitimate reason for being tired and cranky – the more our bodies work to cope with the physical heat, the less we can deal with the associated emotions. |
| Of course, you researched it. |
| And, even though I typically do not “do” nice, the heat makes me realize the need to be patient with people. |
| That’s funny. While everyone else is getting testy, you get nice. But since I know everyone’s feeling the heat, I try to think of others. Even a small gesture can make a big difference. For example, when I runerrands (which, ideally, would be early morning but, realistically, tend to belate afternoon), I make a point to let shoppers walking in the parking lotalways have the right of way since I’m protected from the sun in the comfort ofmy air-conditioned car while they’re outside in the blistering sun. |
| Did you know that heat waves are the #1 weather-related killer in the U.S., killing more people than floods, hurricanes, or tornadoes? That is why they started naming heat waves – so they would get the attention they deserve. And some cities (Miami, Phoenix, and LA) have even appointed heat officers. |
| I didn’t know about that, but I do know that when the girls were small, they needed special attention. Same with the elderly. And don’t forget animals, too! I limit Moo’s outside time and make sure she stays hydrated. I even set the timer for 10 minutes when I let her out. |
| I admit I am very fortunate as I can hide from the heat in my air-conditioned high-rise. But, to help the demands on Houston’s power grid, I have raised the temperature setting on my A/C even though I can feel the effect on my productivity. I have also closed blinds and drapes, unplugged non-essential appliances, and am taking cooler, shorter showers. |
| I have done the same! Although I’ll admit I was prompted by an email from my electricity provider. It also had great tips for the best time to run appliances, like trying to avoid the hours when most people get home from work as they turn on or lower A/C’s, run ovens and washing machines, etc. |
| There is much we can and should do, but I do not want to start talking about global warming or climate change, or who is to blame, even though it is a “hot topic” (sorry, could not resist). |
| Well, I hear this month’s being declared the hottest month ever, and hopefully, we’ll weather, pun intended, this summer’s heat. But I’m afraid things are only going to get worse over the coming years. |
| Agree, but for now, all I have to say is … if you must go out in the heat, PLEASE avoid these eight mistakes. |
Maybe Skin Cancer Advice, But Don’t Expect A Compliment From A Sarcastic Sister
I'll never forget the day. It was an "almost" ordinary day out on the golf course with my mom and dad during the heat of a Long Island summer. Now, if "Long Island" conjures up images of stately manors on the North Shore (think "Great Gatsby") or beachfront mansions in the Hamptons (think Robin Leach and his popular show "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"), you can put those out of your head. I'm not talking about some fancy country club golf course, just a regular public course.
I loved the game ever since I learned to play as a teenager, and although I never got to play while at college (Wake Forest, which was renowned for its golf program, with its most famous alumni being Arnold Palmer), I'd try to get out as often as possible when I was home. I wasn't a phenomenal player but had a decent game and natural talent. And most of the time, I hit it pretty straight, so one of the things I enjoyed was walking down the middle of the fairway, pulling my clubs along (no fancy golf carts on this course), appreciating the day and the sport.
On one (very rare) occasion, my sister came back to New York to visit, as she moved out of state as soon as she graduated from business school. She also played golf, but unlike me, who relied on natural ability and played for fun, she worked extremely hard at her game, was overly competitive, and played "business golf". The result was that she was a far better player than me, although I was holding my own on that day.
As Black often says, the scorecard contains only numbers, no editorial. And it would ultimately show that she'd beat me, but as we were each walking up one of the last holes toward our respective balls, in the heat of a late summer afternoon, with the sun at our backs, I was secretly hoping that she'd be proud of me. So, after I hit my fairway shot onto the green, I heard her call out to me, and my hopes were high,
I wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry, or be angry. Or to just roll my eyes as it really was something only my sister would say. And to this day, I'm not even sure if she had even noticed how close I came to beating her and how well I played – "upping" my game driven by her much better game.
But I also know that I can never look down at my very pale legs without laughing just a little at how a lifetime ago (or so it seems), she was so right. Recently, when she treated me to my first pair of Birkenstocks, I stood in the store trying them on, and before she had a chance to say it I told her … Yes, I do look like I have on white hose.
P. S. – I feel it only fair (pun intended) to have a P.S. for a P.S.A. – Long ago, the harm of the summer sun wasn't as well known, but in the years since, we've learned how important sunblock is. Year-round. So, whether you're a redhead who never tans (I used to cycle between being extremely pale and burning red and back again) or someone who does tan, take care of your skin!