| Thanksgiving's my favorite holiday of the year, but this year I feel like it's barely going to be a holiday. It makes me sad. |
| Are you still going to have decorations throughout the house and your big inflatable turkey in the front yard? |
| Are you kidding? He's my favorite inflatable and has been on our front lawn since right after Halloween! Inside, I pared down the amount of decorations years ago. Just enough to make it festive, but not overwhelming in terms of set-up and take-down. |
| Are you still planning to cook a traditional Thanksgiving dinner? I know the last few years it has only been a handful of people, and there are only two (Mom and me) who are not part of your COVID "bubble". |
| Of course! I always make too much food so I can send Mom home with lots of leftovers. This year, I'll just be delivering it as a big care package and, like everything else I deliver, leaving it in the laundry room. Since she's almost 93 with pre-existing conditions, we haven't had face-to-face, or even mask-to-mask, contact since March. Anyway, I guess that means you'll want to place your "delivery" order. |
| Actually, do not take this the wrong way, but now I have an excuse for not coming over and eating way too much. Especially as I am not a huge fan of turkey or dressing. Or, desserts. Although, if you get your usual Honey Baked Ham, I might want a few slices. |
| Technically, you buy the ham and I merely pick it up and serve it. But I can probably get away with not making a zillion desserts this year. Since it will just be a few of us in the house, even with making everyone their favorite dessert, it will be a lot less work. |
| The last few years I brought pies from Whole Foods to cover some of the "favorites" and I can do that again this year. I will just drop them off, wish everyone "Happy Thanksgiving" from a distance, grab my to-go order, and be on my way. In fact, I may become a "Thanksgiving Santa" and deliver pies to some other people, too. |
| I used to bake cookies for the girls to give as Christmas gifts, but I've never thought about delivering Thanksgiving food to others. That could become a new tradition. And it could be as simple as just making extra portions of what's already planned. |
| Which to some extent is what the Pilgrims did … they shared their good fortune and available food and crops with the Indians. So, is that not the true spirit of the holiday? |
| Says the woman who doesn't cook. And never has people over to her home. But I guess one of the good things about a pandemic Turkey Day is that I can delete "cleaning the house" from my traditional Thanksgiving to-do list since there will be no one coming over to judge me. |
| I can understand guests judging your sweet potatoes or cranberry sauce, but your housekeeping abilities? An issue the pilgrims did not have to worry about since their celebratory feasts were outdoor events. Although this year, they would be considered super-spreaders. |
| Cute. I thought about doing something outside, but we don't have a large picnic table, the weather's never predictable, and it wouldn't necessarily allow you to socially distance when your masks are off to eat. |
| We each need to be creative and find what works best for our situation. It will be the most difficult for people who usually travel to be with family or are used to having a large gathering for a traditional Thanksgiving feast. It does not mean that people cannot still "get together" and celebrate – whether it is having a "Zoom" Thanksgiving meal or just a smaller outdoor gathering where you visit but do not eat. But, for some, it may mean just visiting over the phone with people you are grateful to have in your life. |
| Careful! You're starting to sound warm and fuzzy. Anyway, every year I have a list of people I either call or text on Thanksgiving. Because it'll be a much smaller and "easier" Thanksgiving means there will be more time to spend with them. |
| It also frees up time to stop and give thanks. To appreciate what you have in your life. |
| Yes, which to me is the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Although I'll admit I have my own special traditions. |
| Do I even want to know? |
| Probably not. I wake up, turn on "The Godfather" movie marathon on TV, and start cooking. I love the break from my normal routine and having the freedom to cook all day, coupled with the feeling that it means fall's really here, even if the thermometer doesn't always indicate that. |
| Sounds like your Thanksgiving traditions will continue, although modified slightly. |
| Yes, it will definitely be a bit different. And, on a good note, maybe even less hectic. Maybe I'll even be able to earmark time to just "chill" and quietly give thanks for the positive things in my life. |
| The Pilgrims would be proud. |
| So, what are your plans since you won't be eating with us? Oh wait, let me guess. You'll be working on Red & Black so you can have uninterrupted peace and quiet. |
| Exactly. Because that is my Thanksgiving tradition. |
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Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Ye Jinghan on Unsplash
Second Chance Month may almost be over, but giving someone a second chance, especially for those who’ve been on the wrong side of the law, shouldn’t end when April does. Because we’ve all made mistakes, and a second chance is a gift that can make all the difference, as Red dramatically learned below …
| I had no idea that April was “Second Chance Month” until you sent me the official proclamation. I find it interesting that in the midst of juggling our usual million and one Red & Black things, your interest in criminal justice, which I know you consider a “passion project”, is as strong as ever, maybe even stronger. |
| It is not intentional, sometimes “passion projects” find you. And, when you least expect it. |
| Or where you least expect it! Only you would take a “field trip” to a men’s prison. |
| I will not get on my soapbox about how our education system contributes to the criminal justice problem. I will never forget a friend of mine who was formerly incarcerated telling me, “Rehabilitating people makes the assumption they were habilitated in the first place.” |
| When you stop and think about that statement, it’s pretty powerful! But I have to smile as once upon a time you, and I, used words like “offenders” and “prisoners” until we learned how our choice of words could be dehumanizing. |
| Says the woman who once believed in the idea of “lock ’em up and throw away the key”. |
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Blackassets.rebelmouse.io | That was before! I know you told me that just because someone made a bad decision, it didn’t make them a bad person, but it sounded like a cliche. Now, my opinion is based on our experience and the impact we’ve seen. The feedback has been eye-opening. Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with “do-overs.” |
| Exactly. None of us are perfect. We have all made bad decisions. Second chances are about opportunities to show we have learned from our mistakes. |
| Well, I know I have. Obviously, not anything illegal. But it made me determined to teach my daughters what I had learned. Probably one of the most heartwarming parts of the feedback we’ve received is that so many people on the inside want better – not only for themselves, but for their children and grandchildren. |
| Yes, which is why having a second chance is so critical. And, helping set people up for success, not failure, because it is about more than changing the lives of the formerly incarcerated -- it can change the lives of their families and, in turn, our communities and our country. |
| A ripple effect that could mean more people may get it right the first time and not need a second chance. |
| True. Maybe we should look at it as giving society a second chance … |
We first ran the post below five years ago, and we’re glad April’s no longer Autism Awareness Month but now is Autism Acceptance Month. Especially as autism seems to have become more commonplace (partially due to improved diagnosis, but also less stigma). Most important, though, is learning about autism, including how to talk about it in a non-judgmental way … because that’s what helps all of us move from awareness to acceptance.
| Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye. |
| Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness "to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call. |
| Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities. |
| I think you mean DIFF-abilities. |
| Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. |
| Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings? |
| I know that you completely changed my way of thinking, not only about Natasha but about the concept of "disabilities" full stop. It opened my eyes – and my brain – about how just because someone has challenges or limited abilities in some areas, that doesn't mean they don't have different gifts and strengths in other areas. |
| Exactly. Although autism is a "spectrum condition" meaning it affects people differently and to varying degrees, it is a complex developmental disorder that can affect a person's social skills, and ability to communicate and interact with others. However, autistic people usually possess some extremely valuable traits that are rare in non-autistic people. |
| Which is why it frustrates me that so many people feel like those with disabilities, excuse me DIFF-abilities, are "lesser" people. When Natasha was diagnosed, she was in her teens and already had a very strong personality (no doubt inherited from you) and, luckily, seemed to have an innate understanding that she was just different, not better, not worse, than others. I guess one of the biggest challenges is to get others to see things with the same mindset. |
| We are a story-telling society, and there are countless stories of people with DIFF-abilities, including those with autism, that are eye-opening and more powerful than anything we could ever say. |
| Funny you say that, as I was curious to learn more about autism and found some inspiring quotes (including a wonderful Tom Hanks clip) that not only gave me great insight but made me smile. One of my favorites was how Paul Collins, an author and parent of an autistic child, said, "Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." That's such a great way to describe not only those with autism but any disability. |
| Well, technically, it will fit, but it requires that the diameter of the circle be larger than the diagonal of the square. Basic geometry. But, I understand Paul Collin's point. |
| Talk about DIFF-abilities! Couldn't you just agree with me? |
| The thought never crossed my mind. |
| So, how do you plan to explain how our WORDS & BANTER section is different from BANTER BITES? Although it often takes more than a "bite" of sisterly banter to address topics, especially since we always seem to have very different perspectives. |
| You just explained it. |
| Do you think we should mention how, on the surface, it may appear as a hodge-podge? An assortment of topics. Things that don’t fit “nice and neat” in specific categories. |
| Areyou describing WORDS & BANTER? Or, life? |
| I should've known that you'd answer my question with a question. |
| How long have I been your sister? By now, you should be used to it. |
| True. Just like you should be used to my blah-blah-blah. |
| Which explains why we never have a shortage of words … or sisterly banter. |
| That, and the fact that you always seem to have a different point of view or perspective on any given topic. |
| We are sisters— not clones. |
| Well, sometimes I think you’re a Vulcan. Anyway, should we mention that if they want a weekly dose of Red & Black banter and perspective, they should sign up for our newsletter at the bottom of this page? |
| You just did. |
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