Words & Banter

RED & BLACK ... What Would The Pilgrims Do?

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash


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Thanksgiving's my favorite holiday of the year, but this year I feel like it's barely going to be a holiday. It makes me sad.


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Are you still going to have decorations throughout the house and your big inflatable turkey in the front yard?


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Are you kidding? He's my favorite inflatable and has been on our front lawn since right after Halloween! Inside, I pared down the amount of decorations years ago. Just enough to make it festive, but not overwhelming in terms of set-up and take-down.


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Are you still planning to cook a traditional Thanksgiving dinner? I know the last few years it has only been a handful of people, and there are only two (Mom and me) who are not part of your COVID "bubble".


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Of course! I always make too much food so I can send Mom home with lots of leftovers. This year, I'll just be delivering it as a big care package and, like everything else I deliver, leaving it in the laundry room. Since she's almost 93 with pre-existing conditions, we haven't had face-to-face, or even mask-to-mask, contact since March. Anyway, I guess that means you'll want to place your "delivery" order.


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Actually, do not take this the wrong way, but now I have an excuse for not coming over and eating way too much. Especially as I am not a huge fan of turkey or dressing. Or, desserts. Although, if you get your usual Honey Baked Ham, I might want a few slices.


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Technically, you buy the ham and I merely pick it up and serve it. But I can probably get away with not making a zillion desserts this year. Since it will just be a few of us in the house, even with making everyone their favorite dessert, it will be a lot less work.


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The last few years I brought pies from Whole Foods to cover some of the "favorites" and I can do that again this year. I will just drop them off, wish everyone "Happy Thanksgiving" from a distance, grab my to-go order, and be on my way. In fact, I may become a "Thanksgiving Santa" and deliver pies to some other people, too.


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I used to bake cookies for the girls to give as Christmas gifts, but I've never thought about delivering Thanksgiving food to others. That could become a new tradition. And it could be as simple as just making extra portions of what's already planned.


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Which to some extent is what the Pilgrims did … they shared their good fortune and available food and crops with the Indians. So, is that not the true spirit of the holiday?


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Says the woman who doesn't cook. And never has people over to her home. But I guess one of the good things about a pandemic Turkey Day is that I can delete "cleaning the house" from my traditional Thanksgiving to-do list since there will be no one coming over to judge me.


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I can understand guests judging your sweet potatoes or cranberry sauce, but your housekeeping abilities? An issue the pilgrims did not have to worry about since their celebratory feasts were outdoor events. Although this year, they would be considered super-spreaders.


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Cute. I thought about doing something outside, but we don't have a large picnic table, the weather's never predictable, and it wouldn't necessarily allow you to socially distance when your masks are off to eat.


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We each need to be creative and find what works best for our situation. It will be the most difficult for people who usually travel to be with family or are used to having a large gathering for a traditional Thanksgiving feast. It does not mean that people cannot still "get together" and celebrate – whether it is having a "Zoom" Thanksgiving meal or just a smaller outdoor gathering where you visit but do not eat. But, for some, it may mean just visiting over the phone with people you are grateful to have in your life.


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Careful! You're starting to sound warm and fuzzy. Anyway, every year I have a list of people I either call or text on Thanksgiving. Because it'll be a much smaller and "easier" Thanksgiving means there will be more time to spend with them.


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It also frees up time to stop and give thanks. To appreciate what you have in your life.


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Yes, which to me is the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Although I'll admit I have my own special traditions.


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Do I even want to know?


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Probably not. I wake up, turn on "The Godfather" movie marathon on TV, and start cooking. I love the break from my normal routine and having the freedom to cook all day, coupled with the feeling that it means fall's really here, even if the thermometer doesn't always indicate that.


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Sounds like your Thanksgiving traditions will continue, although modified slightly.


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Yes, it will definitely be a bit different. And, on a good note, maybe even less hectic. Maybe I'll even be able to earmark time to just "chill" and quietly give thanks for the positive things in my life.


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The Pilgrims would be proud.


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So, what are your plans since you won't be eating with us? Oh wait, let me guess. You'll be working on Red & Black so you can have uninterrupted peace and quiet.


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Exactly. Because that is my Thanksgiving tradition.

Want to read other columns? Here's a list.

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I love how The Eyewall newsletter keeps an eye (pun intended) on tropical activity in the Atlantic Ocean, Caribbean Sea, and Gulf of Mexico. Not only is it a great “no hype” analysis of what’s going on, but it really helps me deal with the prospect of any bad storms hitting Houston.


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You definitely watch the weather more than I do. But, I know that is because you have an extreme “fear” (or however you want to describe it) of driving in heavy rain and potentially facing road flooding.


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Borderline terror. Thanks to you.


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Me? I thought I was the one who taught you what to do when encountering high water.
Keep Reading ...Show less
From back flap of our book, “What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!” Photographer unknown.

Long before we had an ABOUT page, readers met Red not only through the back flap of our bestselling book, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, but because her crisis was the book’s title! But a lot has happened since Black turned her crisis into a book — a brand — a business. Including a lot of growing up.

And Red? Still warm and fuzzy. Just a lot less sheltered.

WHAT WE SAID THEN

When we started working on the book, Red couldn’t find a photo of her and the girls, so they posed for one in the fall of 2004. Later, our book editor captured Red this way:

After getting a degree in Theater Arts, Red moved back in with her parents until she married an outgoing Englishman and followed his career around the globe. Now she lives in Sugar Land, a suburban city on the outskirts of Houston, Texas. Red is a warm and fuzzy mom whose life revolves around her two red-headed girls. With Red, it's all about the feelings.

WHAT WE DIDN’T KNOW THEN …

We knew Red was used to letting others take the lead. We didn’t know that once she took control, she’d discover how much she was capable of.

We knew her life revolved around her two red-headed girls. We didn’t know how much growing up was still ahead — for them and for Red.

We knew Red had learned a lot when her husband got fired. We probably should have known she’d want to use what she learned to help others.

And we described Red as “warm and fuzzy” and “all about the feelings. ”Still true. She’s just learned that sometimes warm and fuzzy isn’t enough.

AND THERE’S A STORY BEHIND THE PHOTO …

What makes this seemingly ordinary photo remarkable? Red’s in front of the camera!

She was almost always the one behind the camera, so when we needed a photo of her for the book, it had to be staged. In fact, she’s not even sure who took the photo.

At the time, it was simply a photo we needed. Looking at it now, it’s more than that. It captured Red in the middle of the life she’d always dreamed about — and when her girls were still young and being their mom was the center of her world.

She knew they would grow up. She just didn’t know how quickly that picture would become a memory.

A lot has changed since that photo was taken. Including Red.

Same family. Very different approaches to life.

Red is warm and fuzzy. Black is pragmatic and sarcastic.

  • Red leads with her heart. Black leads with her head.
  • Red wants to talk it through. Black wants to solve it.
  • Red gives you the context. Black gives you the bottom line.

Which sounds more like you?

Which brings us to one of our favorite examples: When we had to explain the differences between us for the Introduction to What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, Red wrote pages with her usual blah-blah-blah. Black gave the book designer a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet.

Funny thing is that over the years, readers have not only told us which of us they’re more like, but also gone so far as to identify the “Reds” and “Blacks” in their own families. We even had a few who nicknamed themselves (one was “Brown,” another was “Bald”).

So, are you more like Red or Black? Or somewhere in between?

2020 Copyright Red & Black Productions, L.P.