The back of our book states, "We are real people. We are not claiming to be experts in any given field, but rather are becoming experts of our own lives. "However, since many of our daily Banter Bites are political in nature, we want you to know that we are NOT political commentators either … even though it seems so much of our daily lives have become political. Even the wearing of masks, which we strongly believe is a health and safety issue, has become a political issue.
In terms of the presidential election, we've tried to remain neutral and merely give you food-for-thought on different aspects and topics. The reality is that Red and Black don't always agree on politics, but unlike friends and acquaintances that you can distance yourself from due to politics (that could be a post onto itself), we're sisters that work together, so we've had to find a way to get past that. The funny thing is that along the way, we've learned to explain our respective positions (which can be a challenge since one of us is emotional and family oriented while the other is pragmatic and business oriented) and actually give each other food-for-thought.
We know there are many political commentators out there, as well as politicians who give commentary. Some are more educational than others, some are more accurate than others, some are more entertaining than others. We're not claiming to be any of those … we're merely letting you eavesdrop on how we're dealing with life in a very political environment.
P.S. – Having said all that, Red would love to see Black on "Real Time with Bill Maher." So, does anyone know how to make that happen?!
Everyone laughs and wants to hear the story when I mention that I was recently "ghosted" by someone I had dated. What I find interesting is that ghosting has become so prevalent in today's society (and is not restricted to dating) that there is a term to describe the sudden "disappearance" of someone who wants to avoid all future contact with you.
Going back decades, I know there have been first dates that, at the time, I thought went well. But, after getting the "I'll call you" line … I never did. As a teenager, I can remember anxiously waiting for the phone (a landline tethered to the wall – and yes, I am that old) to ring, not wanting to go out and possibly miss the call. And, being very disappointed by the silence. Now, I cannot even remember who they were.
Over time, especially once women's lib made it more acceptable for women to take the initiative when dating, I came to appreciate that it was easier not to call than to tell someone face-to-face that you did not want another date. But, it did not change the inevitable, and ghosting can be more painful than politely telling the truth. Meanwhile, given how outspoken and opinionated I was (I still am), I think they could always sense where they stood and whether our personalities were compatible.
I never intentionally misled anyone, as that is not my style. Plus, it is inefficient as it creates more work down the road to try and reverse the situation. Of course, when you get past the initial dates and learn more about each other, you may realize that you are not compatible. Then, you want to cut your losses and move on, so would break up. It did not require long conversations or detailed relationship analysis. Merely, the common courtesy to be honest.
I know that Red would try and make me understand that "mere mortals" (as she refers to herself and most people, accusing me of being a Vulcan) prefer to avoid these situations – finding them not only uncomfortable and difficult, but thinking they require full explanations. However, I am not questioning "why" people ghost.
Yes, there can be legitimate reasons for ghosting someone, although often there are not. The specific details of my situation are not relevant, but the fact we went on six or seven dates, and he made it very clear that he thought our relationship could be a long-term one (I thought it had potential but was concerned about emotional compatibility) made being ghosted very unexpected. And disappointing. Not to mention,
Ghosting is flat-out rude and shows a lack of manners. If you no longer want to date someone, tell them. Plus, it is an excellent way to practice having difficult conversations, especially as there is no downside risk. But, there can be upside potential … Besides improving your communication skills, you may realize that your decision to stop seeing them is based on a misunderstanding or extenuating circumstances.