Words & Banter

You’re Going To See Less Of Us … Until You See More


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We’ve been posting new content on our website multiple times a week for what seems like forever, so it will be strange to only post a few times a month.


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And, do not forget we also have been “feeding the beast” known as social media. But, if it makes you feel any better, we will still be issuing our newsletter every week and providing our followers with inside information on what the New Year will bring – a new website … and our new approach to Red & Black.


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I’m so excited as it’s going to be fun, animated (in more ways than one), and help people take control of their lives vs. their life controlling them. Which, to some extent, is what we’ve always tried to do.


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Yes, except our current site has almost too much information, and you do not know where to turn first. Or, where to go if you are looking for specific help.


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I know when I first had my crisis, I turned to you, looking for you to tell me what to do. Instead, all I got was questions. Lots and lots of questions. But those questions were how you helped guide me. I think that’s why our book became a bestseller … because people could join me on my journey.


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And, it was formatted so they could follow along versus trying to find the information they needed somewhere in the hundreds and hundreds of posts on this site. In trying to provide useful information, we inadvertently overwhelmed people.

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As if life isn’t overwhelming enough! That’s why I’m excited about our new approach, although some things will never change … like all your sarcasm and unusual perspectives. Not to mention all your racing analogies.

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Or, at the risk of sounding warm and fuzzy, which is your area of responsibility, our commitment to try and help people.

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Isn’t this where you usually mentionhow, for years, our lawyers and accountants tried to dissuade us from focusing on philanthropic endeavors? They were fine when Neiman Marcus launched our book, as it was intended as the basis of a sitcom, but then the detours began, and we went from our first speaking engagement into the education and criminal justice worlds.

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Life never goes as planned. But, hopefully, the next few months will as we focus on our rebrand and our new site.

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And creating posts every other Thursday on select topics and themes – whether it’s the start of the “silly season” (I still cannot believe pumpkin spice “everything” is already here) or just the daily challenges of life. So, are we going to post sneak peeks of what the new Red & Black world will look like?

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Excellent question.

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That's not an answer.

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Then, I guess you will just have to wait and see …
If you, or anyone you know, have FOMO (Red’s daughters had to tell her that means “fear of missing out”), sign up for our weekly newsletter by scrolling down to the bottom.

Life can change in an instant, and the repercussions not only begin instantly but will forever change your life. And often, the lives of others.

However, there was no way to know on that rainy Friday, Red’s crisis would be the start of her journey to take control of her life instead of letting her life control her. It wasn’t surprising that Black’s version of that day was very different, but that may have contributed to the creation of Red & Black … and our journey filled with many detours …

So, curious how Red & Black started? Well, on the surface, it would seem our journey started with the launch of the book I co-authored with my sister, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired! But we all know that what leads up to the "start" of a journey can be just as important, and sometimes even more important. It's like a vacation, the actual vacation falls somewhere in the middle – after the planning and packing and before the post-vacation "recovery" phases that always seen to include lots of laundry.

But I digress (warning, I do that a lot). The real beginning of the journey started on a rainy Friday in January 2004.

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Photo by Walter Bibikow on Alamy
Red may be the theater major and movie fanatic, but when we talk about women’s equality and role models, ironically, I am the one who brings up movie and television characters. (Although she keeps trying to convince me that I am a role model.) Maybe because my favorite movie character is Scarlett in “Gone With The Wind,” and growing up, I was inspired by Marlo Thomas and “That Girl.” But once I learned the backstory of “I Love Lucy,” I realized Lucille Ball was the ultimate badass …


I Love Lucy. For many of us, myself included, those three words bring back memories of favorite episodes of the “I Love Lucy” show. And, although I would be hard-pressed to pick my favorites, some may reminisce that the show, which ran from 1951 – 1957, was from a simpler time and is dated. I would argue that the comic timing, the gags, and the chemistry of the characters have stood the test of time.

Maybe it is because they took frustrating situations in everyday life and then pushed them to the extreme – and made them hilarious along the way. For example, your young child wants a superhero at their birthday party. Reasonable. But for Lucy, after unsuccessfully trying to book Superman (Chris Reeves), she dons the costume in “Lucy and Superman.” A classic.

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Photo by alzay on iStock

It may seem odd to talk about footprints in the snow when most of us are experiencing record heat. But, as we all go through our busy days, it is easy to overlook how the steps we take in life, whether intentional or unplanned, good or bad, lead us to where we are today. And, while it is easy to focus on the past, the future is an untrodden path, waiting for our next step …

Back in 2004, I met an older couple participating in a Ferrari rally, and after a deep conversation over a long lunch, they became dear friends. It was an event that would change my life in many ways, and several months later, shortly after my husband “surprised” me with a divorce, the husband sent me an email that so moved me that I put it in my “Blue Book”. (A Circa planner with a blue leather cover, hence the name, that includes not only my calendars but also a section with a few things I re-read on a regular basis.)

Last month, he passed away. I always made a point of letting them know that “Footprints” had become an important part of my life. They are words to live by. And, in honor of my dear friend, who is loved and missed, I want to share that email. With no edits … as we do not get to edit our lives …

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