| I don't know about you, but although I knew that 2019 was coming to an end, I hadn't really been thinking about it in terms of the end of a decade. That is, until I started seeing all the newspaper articles and television programs not only running their usual year-end summaries, but also looking back on the entire decade. |
| Well, it definitely is not as big a deal as the turn of the century. I remember that everyone was worried about Y2K, and whether there would be serious computer problems related to going from 1999 to 2000. Plus, people were worried there would be a champagne shortage. But, neither of those two "catastrophes" actually happened. |
| Seriously? People were actually worried about a champagne shortage? |
| Wine producers and retailers probably started the idea of so much celebrating, and not enough champagne. Turns out there were shortages of some of the high-end champagnes in certain places, and overall champagne sales were up significantly. |
| I should've guessed that your memories would be business-related. |
| In that instance, yes. But, you are the one who likes to travel down memory lane, not I. So, are you reminiscing about the past decade or just the past year? |
| Until all the media hype, I hadn't really thought about it being a new decade. But when I did, it was bittersweet because the girls were 10 years younger. |
| So were you. So was I. |
| But it's different when you're thinking about how quickly your children grow up. Anyway, I understand that you're not nostalgic, and you definitely never play the "what if" game, but I find it hard to believe that you won't reminisce, even a little, over the past 10 years, or even the last year. |
| Our past has led us to where we are, and you can learn from it, but that is different from reminiscing. You need to live in the present and know that it will influence the future. |
| But how do you learn from the past if you don't take the time – and I'm not saying a large amount of time – to think back about it? |
| You do that as you go, you do not think back over an entire year. Or, an entire decade. Especially since those are arbitrary time periods based on calendars. |
| When you put it like that, it does seem a little crazy. I guess it does make a lot more sense to just learn and make adjustments as you go vs. letting the "mistakes" pile up. |
| You cannot change the past. But, what you do today does impact the future. The key is finding the right balance between savoring the moment and planning for the future. |
| You'd think that as we get older, we'd learn to do things better, to approach things better, to just, well, at the risk of sounding like Melania Trump, be better. But for many of us, that's not the case. |
| With age comes experience, not wisdom. |
| Wow! You're probably going to roll your eyes at this, but I never really thought about it that way. But it's so true. The concept of "learning from your mistakes" is something we hear a lot, especially when we're growing up. Unfortunately, I think that often stops when we become adults. |
| Learning should never stop – especially as we can learn from both our "mistakes" and our good experiences. It just takes the desire to do so. |
| That sounds good, but for us "mere mortals" it can be a little more difficult, as we tend to do things the way we always have. We get caught up in our day-to-day lives and before you know it another week – another month – another year – another decade has come and gone. |
| The older we get, the quicker the years seem to fly by, which makes it even more critical to focus on what is truly important. Identifying your values and priorities, and making sure your decisions align with them. |
| You make it sound so easy but, trust me, it's not. Plus, you've always looked 20 years out and worked backward. For many of us that's a totally new way to look at life, especially those of us who like to reminisce. |
| At the risk of sounding like a Hallmark card, it is a new year, a time to look forward, not backward. Put another way, there is a reason your front windshield is significantly larger than your rear-view mirror. |
| You and your car analogies. But I have to admit it's a great visual. And I'll do my best to keep it in mind. But for now, I still can't believe it's 2020. |
| Funny thing is I started to wish you "20/20 vision" in 2020, then realized it refers to "average" vision … and why would I wish anyone an average year? |
| For those of us who need glasses, 20/20 is what we strive for, and allows us to see things much clearer. |
| In that case, I wish you 20/20 in 2020. |
| As much of a history buff as I am, I’m embarrassed to admit that for a long time, I didn’t know March was Women’s History Month. But now that I do, I’m amazed by all the inspirational stories of women’s remarkable achievements. |
| Too bad Natasha and Sawyer do not still live at home; it would be fun to start a conversation by asking them what women they find inspiring. |
| I already know who they would pick. The first woman to race the road course at Indianapolis Motor Speedway. And I’d have to agree with them. Your Ferrari racing has made an impact on so many people. But especially girls. |
| Until you mentioned it several years ago, I never thought about that. In the 1970s, I was one of the few women in business school. I then made a career in the male-dominated oil and gas industry. I am used to being a “token” female. |
| Trust me. I watch people whenever we’ve done speaking engagements. It’s predictable ... we put up the family tree, and Natasha and Sawyer get awws, but your two racecars get everyone’s attention. |
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| A Ferrari and vintage Porsche usually do. I appreciate that not many women race cars, but as I often say, “How hard can it be, boys do it?” |
| That always makes me laugh. |
| It is a factual statement. |
| I’m not saying no, but it definitely makes a point. That girls can do anything. |
| Well, I have always felt that way. Looking back, my role model growing up was Marlo Thomas in “That Girl.” |
| The late 1960s TV sitcom? Seriously? I have to admit I didn’t watch it as it never really appealed to me. |
| Maybe you should have. Until then, women on TV shows were either someone’s wife, someone’s mother, or someone’s secretary – but never someone independent. Playing an aspiring actress living on her own in New York City, it was easy for me to relate to as we grew up just a short train ride away on Long Island. |
| But she wasn’t real. She was a character on a sitcom! |
| Regardless, it changed my perception of women. Here was a single woman with dreams and aspirations. And, ambition. She was willing to try new things and willing to fail. She put her career ahead of a traditional marriage with children. |
| That may have contributed to why I didn’t watch it. I always wanted to get married and have children, and in a perfect world, would be a stay-at-home mom. I like tradition and history. |
| Does “Gone With The Wind” count as history? Growing up, the character of Scarlett O’Hara was my favorite movie character. Still is. She was a dynamic, independent woman who did not leave her fate to others and pushed the boundaries of her time. |
| Another fictional character. Don’t you think real-life women make a greater impact? |
| Inspiration comes from different places for different people. And, at different stages of our lives. Funny thing is, and I did not realize it until decades after “That Girl” was off the air, Thomas had formed her own production company, Daisy Productions, to produce and own the series. But, the ultimate badass was Lucille Ball. |
| I’ve always loved “I Love Lucy” and have probably seen every episode multiple times, giving me years of laughter and enjoyment. But that’s not how I’d describe her! |
| She was much more than an actress and comedian; she was a trailblazing producer and very shrewd in business. She became one of the first women to own her own TV production company (she bought out Desi Arnaz's share of Desilu Studios several years after their divorce), but also produced such TV classics as “The Untouchables,” “Mission Impossible,” and was even behind the original Star Trek TV series. |
| Wow, I had no idea. Talk about an amazing woman and role model. At the risk of repeating myself, she really did prove girls can do anything. |
| Of course, we can. If we put our mind to it. It is all about mindset and perspective. |
| True. But what I find amazing is you don’t see how you’re a role model. Your entire life is full of examples of doing things girls – and women – traditionally didn’t do. |
| I did things I wanted to do. Plus, telling me I could not do something made me even more determined. It never dawned on me that someone might think it unsuitable or “wrong”. |
| Not that it would have made any difference. You’ve never cared what others think about you. |
| And, I doubt that will ever change. |
| Well, you should care. At least, about the impact your racing has made on young girls. I’ve seen you do in minutes what parents have tried to do for years. |
| Sounds like a bit of an exaggeration. |
| Really? A friend of mine, a single dad, called me after his daughter saw you and your racecar at a Make-A-Wish event. For years, he told her she could be whatever she wanted, never getting a reaction. That night, she came home and said, “Hey Dad, I met Natasha’s aunt, she races cars, I really can do anything.” |
| It is the power of showing versus just telling. |
| So, you admit that you’re a role model! |
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Never.
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Looking for ways to celebrate Women’s History Month? Spend some time learning about and celebrating women’s accomplishments, including these female trailblazers who changed American education, these women who were pioneers in medicine, and these history making female scientists. Or, it can be as simple as ““women helping women” by sharing motivational stories, offering words of praise and encouragement, or becoming a mentor.
Were you like Red and shocked when the actor Chadwick Boseman died at the age of 43 after battling colon cancer for years? Cancer isn’t only for older people, and recent studies show more people under 50 are getting cancer. (Doctors aren’t sure why but suspect it may be due to less physical activity, more highly processed foods, and new toxins.) That’s why cancer screenings are more important than ever!
February may be Cancer Prevention Month – but we need to do it all year! Every year. And is why we’re rerunning last year’s post …
| I know that cancer isn’t the “death sentence” it used to be when we were growing up, but it’s still a very scary word. Especially if it’s heard “close to home”. |
| When we were young, the word was rarely said. And if it was, it was whispered or referred to as the “ c-word.” |
| Kind of like when I had my two miscarriages. No one wanted even to acknowledge, let alone talk about, them. Which made it all the more difficult to get through it, although intellectually, I knew it was not uncommon. |
| Unfortunately, neither is cancer. It is the second-leading cause of death in the world, surpassed only by heart disease. But, at least, it is no longer a taboo subject. |
| Please don’t make this about numbers. It’s about people. Which you should know. I’m sure you remember when Daddy was diagnosed with parotid gland cancer , which luckily was treatable. And I’ve had skin cancer, although I was very fortunate, it was caught early and easily treated. |
| OK, I will not quote statistics, but it is important to realize that although cancer affects many people, that is all the more reason to try and prevent it. Or, catch it early. |
| Very early. I’m not sure I ever told you this, but when I had squamous cell carcinoma confirmed on my nose, it wasn’t because of an annual body screening. It was because I just thought something wasn’t right, even though I had gone to my family doctor and was told it wasn’t anything to worry about. |
| I thought you were always extremely conscientious about your annual cancer screenings, whether mammograms, Pap smears, or body checks. |
| The first two, absolutely, ever since I was in my 30s. But it was only when I went to a dermatologist to check my nose that I realized the importance of having full body screenings, too. Especially since redheads are more susceptible to skin cancer. So, yes, now I go on an annual basis, although it was on a six-month basis for several years after I had to have Mohs surgery . |
| Well, having routine cancer screenings, whether due to standard recommendations , because you think something is not right (after all, who knows your body better than you), or due to family history, has contributed to a decrease in cancer mortality rates . But, you do not want me to talk about numbers. |
| I don’t, but that’s great news! It just shows you how important it is to be proactive. |
| Exactly. And, as we learn more about cancer, we can adjust our lifestyles to lower the risk of getting cancer. For example, think of all the people who quit smoking to lower the risk of lung cancer. Of course, advances in medical treatment have made a huge difference. And, given my involvement with Make-A-Wish, I have watched with pure joy how the cancer death rate among kids and teens has dropped dramatically. |
| Wow, I had no idea! That really makes you stop and think, and makes me think about the cancer stories in movies and TV shows. And before you roll your eyes, and tell me my theater degree’s showing, it does make a difference when a subject like cancer is reflected in storylines. It lets audiences understand it on both an intellectual and emotional level. Which is very powerful. |
| It is. When you think of the movie “ Love Story,” unless you read the book, you did not know that Ali McGraw’s character had leukemia. But, around the same time, there was a “made for TV” pseudo-documentary/movie, “ Brian’s Song ,” which is the first movie I can remember that talked about cancer. It made it an acceptable topic of discussion. |
| I’m impressed you remember those movies. There’ve been so many since then, not to mention celebrities who tell their cancer stories. But cancer being in the mainstream makes it so much easier to discuss. Not just as a society but personally, as I’ve taken advantage of those opportunities to talk with the girls about the importance of early detection , something Mommy never did with me. |
| It was a very different time. Cancer was a “bad” word and potentially a “death” sentence. Today, the future is brighter, but it needs to be part of routine conversations. |
Even though Red’sthe warm and fuzzy one and Black’s extremely pragmatic, we both think of hearts on Valentine’s Day. Just not in quite the same way …
| Happy Valentine’s Day. And before you say anything, yes, I know you don’t celebrate holidays, so just humor me. |
| But, I do “celebrate” February being American Heart Month since heart disease is the leading cause of death – for both men and women. |
| Gee, that’s one way to turn a “fun” holiday into a real downer. Today’s supposed to be about letting people you love and care about know that you’re thinking of them. Think Hallmark cards, squishy teddy bears, chocolate hearts. |
| Do I have to? I rather think about eating well and exercising. I would think you would want to make sure you are around for the people you care about. |
| I do, and the irony is that I know what to do . I just can’t find the motivation to keep it going for more than a few days. But when it comes to eating well and exercising, nothing seems to deter you. |
| Because every morning, I walk into a large closet filled with size 2 clothing. |
| That’s funny. |
| It is the truth. I have always been a clothes horse. Now, decades later, I have a significant investment hanging in my closet. And, since almost everything is timeless and classic, I would be extremely annoyed if it no longer fit. |
| Well, even if that’s something us “mere mortals” can’t relate to, at least it keeps you motivated. I just don’t have anything like that in my life. |
| Really? I can name two things. |
| Well, I’m not sure Natasha and Sawyer would want to be referred to as “things”, but I see your point. I think I did a better job staying fit when they were younger and truly needed me every day. Plus, back when I was cooking for them, I was more focused on healthy eating. |
| Those are excuses. Are you saying that now that they no longer need you as cook and chauffeur, they also do not need your life experience and unconditional love? Especially as they face the challenges of adulthood. |
| Ok, now I don’t know whether to feel guilty or sad because I’m not taking good enough care of myself to always be there for them. At least, if I’m lucky, for the next 30 or 40 years. |
| How about stop being so dramatic and just start taking better care of yourself? Do you remember the airplane and oxygen mask analogy? |
| Absolutely. It was one of your more clever trick questions. You asked me if I was on a plane with the girls and we lost altitude, causing the oxygen masks to drop, would I first put the mask on myself or the girls. I answered, “The girls, of course.” You then pointed out that if I didn’t take care of myself first, I wouldn’t be in a position to help them. |
| And everyone else that might either need you or want to have you around for a long time. But, it is your call … you can make smart decisions now or regret it later. |
| Well, that’s brutally honest. But it has motivated me to go for a walk and think about how I’m going to not only begin, but maintain, a “new and improved” lifestyle. I guess, in many ways, I’m now saying Happy Valentine’s Day to myself, not you. |
| Mission accomplished. |