|Are you familiar with the saying … behind every great man is a great woman?|
|Yes, it generally refers to a woman working behind the scenes. But, in this instance, I am guessing that you are referring to Vice President Harris, who is also President of the Senate, and House Speaker Pelosi sitting at the rostrum while President Biden addressed Congress.|
|Not fair! You stole my punch line. But politics aside, it was so inspiring and amazing. Although I'm sure you have a different perspective.|
|Actually, I agree. It was a historic occasion. Especially when you realize that these two women are No. 1 and No. 2, respectively, in the line of presidential succession.|
|I didn't think of that, which makes it an even more powerful image. As there's no secret of the importance that President Biden places on women being not only involved, but having powerful and meaningful roles, in his administration. It's truly an amazing time for women and, perhaps more importantly, for girls. Wasn't it only last month that we talk about how the Senate Sergeant at Arms office was A Senate Dream Team because for the first time since it was created in 1789, its leadership team is all women?|
|Says the woman who a month ago did not even know there was a Senate Sergeant at Arms office.|
|Fine, but that doesn't change the fact that we're seeing more and more women in government with important leadership roles and high levels of responsibility. But it's more than just impressive positions and titles – they're role models proving "You too can do this."|
|Even the military, which has had a "less than welcoming" history when it came to women (allowing them to serve during wartime but not peacetime, and questioning whether they were fit for combat), has taken great strides. Last month President Biden nominated two female generals to positions as four-star combatant commanders. And, last week the White House announced he'll nominate a woman as the first female four-star admiral in Coast Guard history.|
|I think it's safe to say that would have been unthinkable not that long ago. When it comes to President Biden's campaign pledge to have more women in powerful positions, he really is putting his words into action. And that's not taking into consideration all the other appointments and nominations being made!|
|Exactly. In fact, they just released his 100-Day Staffing Report, and of approximately 1,500 key agency appointees, 58 percent are women. At the U.S. Department of Labor, a critical agency in terms of the issues facing women in the workforce, almost 70 percent of the appointees are women. The report is barely two pages long, but it is obvious that when it comes to the support and advancement of women, it is an era of "historic and transformative leadership."|
|No kidding. And well said!|
|Actually, they are not exactly my words. I "borrowed" the phrase "historic and transformative leadership" from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's formal invitation to President Biden to speak to Congress and then applied it specifically to the women of his presidency.|
|Which takes us back to where this conversation started …|
Everyone laughs and wants to hear the story when I mention that I was recently "ghosted" by someone I had dated. What I find interesting is that ghosting has become so prevalent in today's society (and is not restricted to dating) that there is a term to describe the sudden "disappearance" of someone who wants to avoid all future contact with you.
Going back decades, I know there have been first dates that, at the time, I thought went well. But, after getting the "I'll call you" line … I never did. As a teenager, I can remember anxiously waiting for the phone (a landline tethered to the wall – and yes, I am that old) to ring, not wanting to go out and possibly miss the call. And, being very disappointed by the silence. Now, I cannot even remember who they were.
Over time, especially once women's lib made it more acceptable for women to take the initiative when dating, I came to appreciate that it was easier not to call than to tell someone face-to-face that you did not want another date. But, it did not change the inevitable, and ghosting can be more painful than politely telling the truth. Meanwhile, given how outspoken and opinionated I was (I still am), I think they could always sense where they stood and whether our personalities were compatible.
I never intentionally misled anyone, as that is not my style. Plus, it is inefficient as it creates more work down the road to try and reverse the situation. Of course, when you get past the initial dates and learn more about each other, you may realize that you are not compatible. Then, you want to cut your losses and move on, so would break up. It did not require long conversations or detailed relationship analysis. Merely, the common courtesy to be honest.
I know that Red would try and make me understand that "mere mortals" (as she refers to herself and most people, accusing me of being a Vulcan) prefer to avoid these situations – finding them not only uncomfortable and difficult, but thinking they require full explanations. However, I am not questioning "why" people ghost.
Yes, there can be legitimate reasons for ghosting someone, although often there are not. The specific details of my situation are not relevant, but the fact we went on six or seven dates, and he made it very clear that he thought our relationship could be a long-term one (I thought it had potential but was concerned about emotional compatibility) made being ghosted very unexpected. And disappointing. Not to mention,
Ghosting is flat-out rude and shows a lack of manners. If you no longer want to date someone, tell them. Plus, it is an excellent way to practice having difficult conversations, especially as there is no downside risk. But, there can be upside potential … Besides improving your communication skills, you may realize that your decision to stop seeing them is based on a misunderstanding or extenuating circumstances.