| I’m sorry, but as a mom, I just can’t find the words when it comes to these senseless killings at schools. At schools! My heart breaks for the families of those children lost at Robb Elementary in Uvalde. |
| You do not have to be a mom to become outraged about killings at schools. A place that should be a safe haven for students and teachers. A place that should instill the love of learning – not the fear of dying. |
| Yes, but as a mom, it’s beyond comprehension. You can’t help but think, what if it was my child? When I see the faces of those lost fourth graders, I find myself welling up with tears. I think of my girls at that age. And what those parents must be going through. |
| I am not warm and fuzzy, yet I thought the same things. And, I thought about parents walking past empty beds. Even if you are not a parent, you cannot help but think about siblings and nieces and nephews, your friends and neighbors and their children. And grandchildren. It is not about being a parent – it is about being human. |
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| I felt the same way about Sandy Hook back in 2012. I can remember hearing about Columbine in 1999 as I was living overseas, and several people asked me how such a thing could happen in the U.S. I didn’t have a good answer then. And I still don’t. In fact, it’s only getting worse. When are we going to do something?! |
| Excellent question. One many people are asking. Within hours of the Uvalde shooting, I heard two very passionate pleas from people with very different backgrounds – Steve Kerr, N.B.A. head coach (Golden State Warriors), who refused to talk about basketball in a pre-game interview, and Senator Chris Murphy, a Democrat begging for bipartisanship to find common ground and take action. |
| Well, I know that everything’s become so divisive, but doing something about all these mass killings – whether schools, churches, grocery stores, even a medical center, the list seems to be endless – should be something they can agree on. I just can’t get my head wrapped around why we keep doing … nothing! And I keep thinking about how you’ve always told me that doing nothing IS a decision. A decision to do nothing. |
| Actually, I say, “It is a decision to maintain the status quo.” However, the challenge is finding areas of agreement, which may explain why Congress has done nothing over the last decade. Meanwhile, the number of mass shootings (which seems to be an American phenomenon) continues to increase. There have been over 200 this year alone, and the year is not even half over. |
| You’re the one who loves numbers and statistics, but even I know that’s more than one a day. I’d think better gun control would be the answer. And before you say anything, I’m not against guns; I’m against high-capacity high-speed weapons. I don’t think any civilian needs them. Ever. |
| Some people argue it is not a gun issue; it is a mental health issue. So, if you attribute our mass shootings to mental health issues, would it not make sense to do background checks and restrict those individuals from having guns? |
| Talk about stating the obvious! Although clearly, it’s not obvious to the politicians who don’t want expanded background checks. I’ve learned that the House of Representatives approved background legislation over a year ago but that it’s just sitting in the Senate. And what about assault weapons? Shouldn’t those be outlawed? |
| How much do you know about constitutional law? And, the Second Amendment? |
| Well, I love history, and I know the Second Amendment to the Constitution gives us the right to bear arms. It was written just after “we the people” served as our own “militia” to fight the British for our freedom, so “bearing arms” was so we could protect our country. |
| Interestingly, the Second Amendment contains only 24 words (and, some unusual grammar) yet has been the basis of decades of debate about gun control versus gun rights. But, just like it is illegal to own hand grenades and machine guns, they could ban high-capacity ammunition magazines (again) and outlaw bump stocks (again). However, I do not see that happening. |
| Why not? There’s no good reason civilians need those things. |
| I can give you millions of reasons. Follow the money … from the gun rights groups and the N.R.A. straight to the politicians. |
| So, you’re telling me it all comes down to money?! That they don’t care about all the people, including children, who have been killed. And they’re not willing to do everything in their power to prevent, or at least reduce, future murders? |
| The U.S. is the most heavily armed society in the world, with more guns than people. And, the only country that has strong gun rights with minimal regulations – not even common-sense ones. |
| The Uvalde shooter had just turned 18 and legally bought not one, but two, assault weapons and 375 rounds of ammunition! Anyone with common sense would find that alarming. Especially given the country’s youth are in a mental health crisis. |
| That certainly should have raised a red flag. And, is why there is a push to get “red flag” laws (removing guns from people who are considered to pose a danger to themselves or to others), and raising the age of gun ownership to 21. But, there is no guarantee either will get enough support from Republican Senators to get passed into law. However, you cannot convince me that Republican voters do not support gun safety and common-sense gun laws. |
| I think it’s safe (pun intended) to say most Americans support common-sense gun laws. That’s why politicians, who are supposed to represent us, not their own interests, need to find common ground. |
| Well, when it comes to politics, common sense and common ground are not so common. |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
We first ran the post below five years ago, and we’re glad April’s no longer Autism Awareness Month but now is Autism Acceptance Month. Especially as autism seems to have become more commonplace (partially due to improved diagnosis, but also less stigma). Most important, though, is learning about autism, including how to talk about it in a non-judgmental way … because that’s what helps all of us move from awareness to acceptance.
| Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye. |
| Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness "to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call. |
| Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities. |
| I think you mean DIFF-abilities. |
| Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. |
| Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings? |
| I know that you completely changed my way of thinking, not only about Natasha but about the concept of "disabilities" full stop. It opened my eyes – and my brain – about how just because someone has challenges or limited abilities in some areas, that doesn't mean they don't have different gifts and strengths in other areas. |
| Exactly. Although autism is a "spectrum condition" meaning it affects people differently and to varying degrees, it is a complex developmental disorder that can affect a person's social skills, and ability to communicate and interact with others. However, autistic people usually possess some extremely valuable traits that are rare in non-autistic people. |
| Which is why it frustrates me that so many people feel like those with disabilities, excuse me DIFF-abilities, are "lesser" people. When Natasha was diagnosed, she was in her teens and already had a very strong personality (no doubt inherited from you) and, luckily, seemed to have an innate understanding that she was just different, not better, not worse, than others. I guess one of the biggest challenges is to get others to see things with the same mindset. |
| We are a story-telling society, and there are countless stories of people with DIFF-abilities, including those with autism, that are eye-opening and more powerful than anything we could ever say. |
| Funny you say that, as I was curious to learn more about autism and found some inspiring quotes (including a wonderful Tom Hanks clip) that not only gave me great insight but made me smile. One of my favorites was how Paul Collins, an author and parent of an autistic child, said, "Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." That's such a great way to describe not only those with autism but any disability. |
| Well, technically, it will fit, but it requires that the diameter of the circle be larger than the diagonal of the square. Basic geometry. But, I understand Paul Collin's point. |
| Talk about DIFF-abilities! Couldn't you just agree with me? |
| The thought never crossed my mind. |
| So, how do you plan to explain how our WORDS & BANTER section is different from BANTER BITES? Although it often takes more than a "bite" of sisterly banter to address topics, especially since we always seem to have very different perspectives. |
| You just explained it. |
| Do you think we should mention how, on the surface, it may appear as a hodge-podge? An assortment of topics. Things that don’t fit “nice and neat” in specific categories. |
| Areyou describing WORDS & BANTER? Or, life? |
| I should've known that you'd answer my question with a question. |
| How long have I been your sister? By now, you should be used to it. |
| True. Just like you should be used to my blah-blah-blah. |
| Which explains why we never have a shortage of words … or sisterly banter. |
| That, and the fact that you always seem to have a different point of view or perspective on any given topic. |
| We are sisters— not clones. |
| Well, sometimes I think you’re a Vulcan. Anyway, should we mention that if they want a weekly dose of Red & Black banter and perspective, they should sign up for our newsletter at the bottom of this page? |
| You just did. |
Red assets.rebelmouse.io We love it when Passover, Good Friday, and Easter overlap. Yes, they’re very different celebrations, but they have a lot in common — tradition, history, family, and hope. And the post below is worth repeating, because we wish everyone could remember what we have in common instead of our differences …
| I can't tell you how much I love when Passover and Easter are close together. And this year, the last day of Passover falls on Easter! |
| They usually fall close to one another, and when the girls were young and celebrated everything (which many interfaith families do), it allowed me to be efficient in terms of gift-giving and celebration meals. |
| I'll never forget you adding fluffy Easter bunnies and pastel-colored eggs to a Zabar's basket of Passover goodies. But I wasn't really thinking about that. |
| Let me guess. You want to use this as an opportunity to remind me – once again – that the Comparative Religion class you took decades ago at Wake Forest University was one of the best classes you ever took. |
| Fine, make fun of me. But that class was such an eye-opener. Before it, I thought there were huge differences between the religions. But the reality's very different. We have much in common. |
| Yes, a belief in something bigger than us, in faith, in traditions, in celebrations that go back centuries. |
| Exactly! And while people might celebrate different holidays based on their religion, when those holidays come close together it's a perfect reminder of what's truly important. Our fundamental values are so similar. If everyone could see that, maybe we'd be pulling together more and be torn apart less. |
| It is up to each of us to decide whether we want to focus on our differences or our similarities. |
| At this point, I'd settle for respect, tolerance, and understanding. |
| You left out world peace. Well, given that Passover and Easter both celebrate history … and hope … maybe your request is reasonable after all. |
| In that case, whether our readers are eating the last of the matzo or hunting Easter eggs, I think we should wish them a very happy holiday… one filled with hope, happiness, and peace. |
| You just did. |