Who Said, “You’re Not The Boss Of Me!”?

red head assets.rebelmouse.io	So, I have a question for you, and it’s not a trick question. And I know you’ll give me an honest answer, and whatever it is, my feelings won’t be hurt.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	That is a lot of prefacing … can you get to the question?
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	After all these years working together on Red & Black, I feel like we each understand our respective responsibilities even though in speaking engagements we joke about me being in charge of “warm and fuzzy” and you being in charge of pragmatism and sarcasm.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	OK. And, your question is …?
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	I’m not sure how to phrase it, so I’ll just come out and ask. Do you think of yourself as “the boss”?

Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Do you?
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	At the risk of sounding like a five-year-old, I asked you first! And you know I hate when you answer a question with a question. But my answer is … oh yes, definitely! In fact, on numerous occasions, I’ve been known to refer to you as “the boss” (with all due respect to Bruce Springsteen, of course). Even the girls have heard me refer to you that way, and they’ve never, not once, questioned me, so there must be some agreement, at least in my family, about who’s the boss.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Yes, I have heard you do that, but rarely take it seriously. Although sometimes I think you want me to be your “excuse” for doing, or not doing, something. It is a great conflict avoidance ploy because you can “blame” the decision on me.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	True, but it’s also my way of finding out something without the pressure of outright asking.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Sound like a lot of extra work, especially as it will not change my answer.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	The funny thing is I usually know the answer, but it helps when I hear myself “floating the idea” past you. And when it comes to Red & Black, there’s no question you’re in charge because you have the M.B.A. and decades of experience as a business executive.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Which merely means I have different areas of expertise and experience. When I was in the corporate world, I would hire to my weaknesses. I know what I know – I need people on my team who know what I do not.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Like the fact you always turn to me for what I call the “mere mortal” perspective. But that doesn’t change the fact that your business background and always being “all business” makes you more qualified to be a “boss.”
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Does it? As a parent, are you not the “boss” of your children? Helping them make better decisions, but overruling when necessary. How many times have we discussed, even at our most recent speaking engagement, that when you refer to yourself as “just a mom”, you are ignoring all your highly valuable skills?
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	And I get that, but only because you’ve pointed it out countless times. But if you hadn’t decided to turn my crisis into a book, a brand, and a business, I would’ve gone back to baking brownies and carpool lines.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	That sounds good, but the reality was you needed to take control of your life instead of it controlling you, and I just played the role of “bossy big sister” to make you see that. But, being bossy is very different from having the authority to be the boss.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	And you perfected being bossy when we were growing up, but you still haven’t answered my question. Do you think of yourself as “the boss”?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	How are you defining “boss”? As you know, I own 1% more of the company than you, which technically means I have more “authority”. I could pull rank, but when it comes to business, I prefer teamwork.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, we definitely make a good team, even with our very different backgrounds and personalities.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	The key to making the best business decisions is acknowledging that and learning from one another. And, always remembering there would be no Red & Black … without Red or without Black.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	OK, boss, whatever you say.

business

Words & Banter

Soft Skills: Essential For The Workplace. Essential For Life!

When Red first heard Black talking about the importance of "soft skills," she didn't even know what she was referring to, let alone that they would be important to her life. So, Black explained that it was a term used to describe intangible but essential skills, such as critical thinking and problem-solving, communications, and conflict management.

Red, trying to be sarcastic, then asked if there was such a thing as “hard skills,” Black matter-of-factly told her those are tangible and technical skills such as computer skills.

Of course, Black couldn’t pass up an opportunity for sarcasm and explained that although there’s consensus about the importance of soft skills, there’s debate about what they should be called, with her favorite being the Texas Education Agency (TEA) calling them "21st Century Skills" – although she's old enough to remember they were important in the 20th Century, too.

But would anyone call them “Mom Skills”? Well, Red couldn’t help but remember the time Black told her, “Your job is every bit as demanding as a corporate position, and, in fact, you use many of the same skill sets.”Not something Red could ever have imagined, but it made sense once she better understood what soft skills are and how they are used. But then Black took it a step further,

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soft skills

Words & Banter

What Do You Mean “Homework Never Ends”?

Red was your typical straight-A student, getting great grades starting in kindergarten straight through to graduating from college.(Black’s grades were less than stellar, plus she was a discipline problem – some things never change.) And then, excited and proud of herself, Red thought she was done. Black, on the other hand, thinks of education as something that never ends, and much to the chagrin of students, will tell them,

Homework never ends; it just is called “research” when you get older.

Over the last few years, Red has come around to Black’s way of thinking and realizes it’s a mindset. And that education is more than the classes you take in school.

September is when students of all ages are back in school, but it’s also National Literacy Month, which is about so much more than reading and writing. Literacy includes things like Digital Literacy, Financial Literacy, Health Literacy, and even News Literacy. (As the linked Conversation Starters indicate, Red was the “poster child” of a highly educated person who lacked many of these basic literacy skills.)

So, we challenge you to find a topic that interests you or one you could benefit from learning (personally or professionally) and start doing your homework.

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lifelong learner

Words & Banter

Feeling Overwhelmed? THE DAILY HELP … Will Help

For many of us, Labor Day marks the end of summer (temperatures aside), and as we switch from a summer holiday mindset back to the “real world”, we can’t help but feel overwhelmed.

You don’t need us to tell you how falling back into a work or school routine can be challenging, especially if you’re facing a backlog of tasks and responsibilities. And, if that wasn’t bad enough, the “silly season” is just around the corner. (Red has been seeing Halloween decorations since mid-July, which means Thanksgiving and all the winter holidays aren’t far behind.)

But you don’t need us to tell you why you feel overwhelmed; you need help dealing with being overwhelmed.

When our new website goes live next year, one of the major sections will be THE DAILY HELP, where you’ll find easy-to-implement tools to get your day back on track and feel more in control.

But that doesn’t help you … NOW. So, here are a handful of our favorite posts to help you deal with daily challenges we all face. (Red admits that she picked the ones she felt she needed to reread.)

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daily help

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