Words & Banter

Black’s Coffee … Analogy

Stock photo on iStock

It all started with a visit to Dunkin' (Donuts), which isn't an unusual event for me as I come from New York, and it has always been a part of my life (and explains why I struggle to call it by its "new" name). Even before I was old enough to drink coffee, I loved their donuts, and one of my favorite childhood memories is my dad coming home with a box of a dozen Dunkin' donuts (his favorite was the chocolate glaze and mine the Boston cream).

Now, fast forward to my recent visit to Dunkin', which didn't go as expected – on several fronts. But it had nothing to do with donuts. Rather, with coffee, which I drink all day long, although I'm very particular about how it's prepared. (I admit, that's an understatement.)


I like my coffee very milky. So much so that Black has been known to tell waiters and baristas that I like a little coffee with my hot milk and sugar. Or, technically, Splenda (or Splenda Stevia, if available), not that it really matters, as I'm one of "those people" who carry a stash in my handbag.

Well, this time, my usually wonderful Dunkin' coffee was, well, there's no getting around this, bitter. Not strong. Bitter. It was a rare event, but so disappointing, as it was one of those days when I had brought it home, wanting to savor it while working. I like to pride myself on being able to play "mad scientist" when coffee's too strong, knowing how to add enough extra milk (or if necessary, cream) and sugar to get it "just right".

I explained to Black (she might say, "whining") how this particular cup of coffee was beyond redemption as I can work with strong, but there's nothing much I can do with bitter. I figured she'd tell me to get over it and make a fresh pot at home but instead,

Coffee is like people. You can work with strong-minded, even opinionated, people, although you might have to try harder, be more patient, or be more creative. But, someone bitter is very different, and often difficult (maybe even impossible) to change. Without naming names, we both know people who fit that category. And, much like your cup of coffee, your only options may be to take it or leave it.
Photo by mevans on iStock
We first ran the post below five years ago, and we’re glad April’s no longer Autism Awareness Month but now is Autism Acceptance Month. Especially as autism seems to have become more commonplace (partially due to improved diagnosis, but also less stigma). Most important, though, is learning about autism, including how to talk about it in a non-judgmental way … because that’s what helps all of us move from awareness to acceptance.


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Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye.


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Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness "to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call.


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Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities.


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I think you mean DIFF-abilities.


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Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.


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Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings?
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So, how do you plan to explain how our WORDS & BANTER section is different from BANTER BITES? Although it often takes more than a "bite" of sisterly banter to address topics, especially since we always seem to have very different perspectives.


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You just explained it.


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Do you think we should mention how, on the surface, it may appear as a hodge-podge? An assortment of topics. Things that don’t fit “nice and neat” in specific categories.


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Areyou describing WORDS & BANTER? Or, life?


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I should've known that you'd answer my question with a question.


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How long have I been your sister? By now, you should be used to it.


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True. Just like you should be used to my blah-blah-blah.


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Which explains why we never have a shortage of words … or sisterly banter.


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That, and the fact that you always seem to have a different point of view or perspective on any given topic.


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We are sisters— not clones.



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Well, sometimes I think you’re a Vulcan. Anyway, should we mention that if they want a weekly dose of Red & Black banter and perspective, they should sign up for our newsletter at the bottom of this page?


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You just did.

We love it when Passover, Good Friday, and Easter overlap. Yes, they’re very different celebrations, but they have a lot in common — tradition, history, family, and hope. And the post below is worth repeating, because we wish everyone could remember what we have in common instead of our differences …


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I can't tell you how much I love when Passover and Easter are close together. And this year, the last day of Passover falls on Easter!


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They usually fall close to one another, and when the girls were young and celebrated everything (which many interfaith families do), it allowed me to be efficient in terms of gift-giving and celebration meals.


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I'll never forget you adding fluffy Easter bunnies and pastel-colored eggs to a Zabar's basket of Passover goodies. But I wasn't really thinking about that.
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