Words & Banter

Don't Drink And … Send

Photo by De an Sun on Unsplash

Something happened the other evening, and before I could become annoyed, I started laughing because I was "guilty" of the same offense … just not recently. Looking back at what, at the time, were my mortifying actions, I realized that anyone who drinks and types (whether email or text messages) has probably done it.

It has been proven that alcohol reduces your inhibitions – some people think they become charismatic, others become the world's greatest dancers (or lovers), while others believe they can see things with more clarity and need to share that knowledge. And, the list goes on. (I know that Red loves lists, but since she does not drink, the list would be impossible for her to understand … although many of us could see it as a checklist, "Yes, done that!")

So, have you ever been holding back your feelings (good or bad) about someone, and then one evening you have a little too much to drink and decide to let them know your inner-most thoughts? It could be a family member, a friend, someone at work, a romantic relationship (past, present, future "prospect"), or given social media, even a stranger. You let your thoughts and feelings run from your head (not sure the brain is involved, other than to help your fingers fly across the keyboard) through your electronic equipment … and then out into the world.

Sometimes you realize it almost immediately, and you futilely try to "recall" the message before they open it. More often, you do not see the error of your ways until the next day when you vaguely remember sending the message (or, possibly, multiples messages), clinging to the hope it was a bad dream … until you see it in your sent file. Or, even worse, finding a response, which you are not sure you want to read.

What made me laugh was that this time I was the recipient, not the sender (the first email was an expression of deep feelings, the second questioning if I had received the first one, both obviously alcohol-induced), and I decided not to let them off the hook. Since I had been out at a business dinner, several hours had passed, so I politely replied, questioning the reasonableness of each email and then asking if alcohol had been involved.

And, I could not help but wonder,

If there are car breathalyzer devices that require you to submit a breath sample, and if your alcohol level is at or above a preset level, it will prevent the vehicle from starting … should there not be similar devices that would inactive the "send" button on your computer or smartphone?

P.S. – I think Wikipedia's breathalyzer entry is fascinating, but doubt Red would agree.


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So, how do you plan to explain how our WORDS & BANTER section is different from BANTER BITES? Although it often takes more than a "bite" of sisterly banter to address topics, especially since we always seem to have very different perspectives.


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You just explained it.


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Do you think we should mention how, on the surface, it may appear as a hodge-podge? An assortment of topics. Things that don’t fit “nice and neat” in specific categories.


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Areyou describing WORDS & BANTER? Or, life?


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I should've known that you'd answer my question with a question.


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How long have I been your sister? By now, you should be used to it.


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True. Just like you should be used to my blah-blah-blah.


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Which explains why we never have a shortage of words … or sisterly banter.


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That, and the fact that you always seem to have a different point of view or perspective on any given topic.


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We are sisters— not clones.



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Well, sometimes I think you’re a Vulcan. Anyway, should we mention that if they want a weekly dose of Red & Black banter and perspective, they should sign up for our newsletter at the bottom of this page?


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You just did.

We love it when Passover, Good Friday, and Easter overlap. Yes, they’re very different celebrations, but they have a lot in common — tradition, history, family, and hope. And the post below is worth repeating, because we wish everyone could remember what we have in common instead of our differences …


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I can't tell you how much I love when Passover and Easter are close together. And this year, the last day of Passover falls on Easter!


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They usually fall close to one another, and when the girls were young and celebrated everything (which many interfaith families do), it allowed me to be efficient in terms of gift-giving and celebration meals.


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Image by filipefrazao on iStock

We’ve heard it all before — that cancer can impact any of us, that screenings matter, and that some serious cancers are impacting young people more than ever before. But those words can feel theoretical until something happens to grab our attention.

Last week, we got that stark reminder when James Van Der Beek, beloved by many from “Dawson’s Creek,” lost his battle with colorectal cancer at just 48 years old.

Which is why we’re rerunning this post … we know firsthand that early detection and screenings aren’t suggestions — they’re necessities.



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I know that cancer isn’t the “death sentence” it used to be when we were growing up, but it’s still a very scary word. Especially if it’s heard “close to home”.


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When we were young, the word was rarely said. And if it was, it was whispered or referred to as the “c-word.”


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Kind of like when I had my two miscarriages. No one wanted even to acknowledge, let alone talk about, them. Which made it all the more difficult to get through it, although intellectually, I knew it was not uncommon.


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Unfortunately, neither is cancer. It is the second-leading cause of death in the world, surpassed only by heart disease. But, at least, it is no longer a taboo subject.


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Please don’t make this about numbers. It’s about people. Which you should know. I’m sure you remember when Daddy was diagnosed with parotid gland cancer, which luckily was treatable. And I’ve had skin cancer, although I was very fortunate, it was caught early and easily treated.
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