FULL QUESTION: My teenager's a slob and it's driving me crazy – their messy room, leaving dirty dishes all around the house, and the bathroom looking like a disaster area! And now they're home for the summer. Help!
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Moms everywhere know exactly what you're talking about! And although people told me not to worry,
this phase will pass, that didn't make it any better while I was in the midst
of it. (I wish I had understood why teenagers have messy rooms
and what I could have done to manage
it better.)The good news was I was able to set expectations (and help maintain them) for
the common areas of the house, but dealing with their rooms was very different.
Especially with my eldest daughter since
nothing would work – not bribes, not threats, not rationale conversation. I tried all the tips and "tricks" without success, and eventually decided
to stop nagging her because all it did was get me upset while she seemed perfectly
content with the mess. At that point, I realized my primary concern was that I'd ultimately need an exterminator and/or plumber (for those of you that have lived through this, you understand), so I'd periodically go in and selectively clean that which would create problems for the rest of us. The rest I left alone. Hey, if she wanted to wear smelly clothing or have a bathroom that should be declared a national emergency zone, so be it. My younger daughter, in comparison, was so much better. And since she's more social and likes to have friends over, that has been the best thing to keep her room habitable by humans, as she'd never have them come into a pigsty. |
| I do not have children, but there was a time I did have stepdaughters, and not knowing what else to do, I decided to treat them like I would new employees. I knew employees basically wanted to please management, so I figured kids wanted to please their parents. I created a "Rules of the House" document (small, basic, easy things) and presented most of them as things to do versus things not to do, and looked at the rules as an opportunity for them to achieve and succeed, not as a set of restrictions. I always found it more effective with employees, and then the girls (and even their father), to reinforce positive behavior rather than punish bad behavior. It can be as simple as a "thank you," complimenting them on their efforts, or maybe even reward a job well done. It seemed to work, and along the way, improved communications and helped us set priorities. |
So much of what we had to say about March Madness in our 2023 post still holds true … Red’s lack of interest and Black’s love of …
| Until a few years ago, I would have thought March Madness had something to do with Spring Break. I’ve never followed sports (pro or college), but once my younger daughter started playing competitive high school volleyball, and then applied to colleges, I learned all about college sports and division teams. This year, living in the Greater Houston area, I couldn’t help getting caught up in March Madness since the University of Houston was a No. 1 seed. (I hate to admit it, but it’s the same with the Houston Astros. I’m not interested until they make it to the playoffs.) But now that Houston has been eliminated, my only real interest in March Madness is avoiding Houston’s NRG Stadium since that’s where the Final Four playoffs will be held, and the traffic will be, well, madness! |
| I love March Madness. Not because I love the sport but because the statistics are fascinating. (Plus, it is a great name.) The odds of filling out a perfect bracket (correctly predicting all game winners once the March Madness teams are selected) are almost too small to calculate. Out of a record 20 million brackets submitted on ESPN this year, just 37 picked the men’s Final Four. That's 0.000185%. And, this is the first time all four No. 1 seeds were eliminated during the Sweet Sixteen, not even making it to the Elite Eight, let alone the Final Four. Which improves the odds of this being a “Cinderella Story” year. |
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Black assets.rebelmouse.io FULL QUESTION: Asking Again: I love how Red & Black is run by two sisters. Is one of you “the boss”?
We thought this would be the perfect question to rerun on National Boss’s Day. Why? Well, we think the responses below say it all …
| Oh yes, definitely! Without question, that would be Black. In fact, on more than one occasion, I've been known to refer to her as The Boss (and I'm not talking about Bruce Springsteen). It's usually me kidding around and saying something along the lines of "I'll have to check with The Boss." (Even my daughters have heard me refer to their aunt that way, and they've never questioned me, so there must be some agreement, at least in my family, about who's the boss.) To a great extent, it may be because if you were to compare our bios, I don't think my background as a mom prepared me to be a businesswoman, although Black has tried to convince me otherwise. On the other hand, Black's bio makes it painfully obvious she's "all business" so better suited to be "the boss." |
| It depends on how you define "boss." If you are referring to who owns more of the company, I hold 1% more than Red, which technically means I have more"authority". And, I will admit that as the older sister, I have more practice being bossy (especially as she has always tried to avoid conflict), but when it comes to business, I value teamwork. Red has a perspective and background very different than mine (that is an understatement!), but the key is acknowledging that – and learning from one another in order to make the best business decisions. The bottom line is there would be no Red & Black … without Red or without Black. It is truly a partnership. |
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