| I have a serious dilemma. And since summer movies are not exactly your “thing”, I doubt you’ll be any help. |
| Funny you say that, as there are three summer releases that I plan to see. |
| Three?! You?! Really?! I’m guessing one of them is “Oppenheimer.” But have no clue what the other two can be, especially as I can’t imagine you want to see "Barbie.” |
| Yes, to “Oppenheimer,” and to “Barbie.” I am fascinated by all the Barbie marketing and co-branding … and how Mattel is not only trying to change how we look at Barbie, but also rebranding itself. |
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With all due respect, I want to enjoy movies, not understand the business
behind them! |
| All I was going to say is that most people think of Mattel as a toy company, and what is happening with “Barbie” is they are becoming more Disney-like in that they are an intellectual property (IP) company managing franchises. That also happens to sell stuff. Lots of stuff. |
| I guess that explains why it’s a full-blown Hollywood movie with big-name movie stars. And directed by Greta Gerwig, a “serious” and well-respected director. But that doesn’t explain why you would see it. Growing up, I don’t ever remember seeing you play with Barbie dolls. I know I didn’t. |
| I guess hanging out with the boys next door and tying firecrackers to Barbie dolls does not count. But, I do have one Barbie doll pristine in her original box. |
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Now you’re just messing with me.Or are going to say it was an investment
purchase. |
| Neither. When I was racing the Ferrari Challenge, my crew gave it to me as a gift. And, she stands proudly amongst my various racing awards and paraphernalia. |
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Did they mean it as a compliment or was it a gag gift? |
| Hard to say, as I was the only woman racing the series. But, I did not ask. What was important was how I saw it, not how they did. And, that is why I want to see the movie. I have been reading how Gerwig was determined it would not be some “fluff” piece, but a work of art and a commentary on society and women. It is an impressive objective, and before I can comment further, I need to see it for myself. |
| Well, Sawyer caught a sneak preview showing the night before it officially opened, and she wants me to see it so we can discuss it. |
| I can’t imagine that is your dilemma as you usually do not need an excuse to escape to the movies and eat popcorn. Although you have discovered that movie popcorn you make at home. |
| No, I was already planning to see it in the movie theater, but there’s no rush, as I expect it to be out for a while. But I’m concerned the latest Mission Impossible movie, “Dead Reckoning Part One,” which needs to be experienced on the big screen, may be gone from theaters if I wait too long. |
| Using that logic, I may need to see “Gran Turismo” when it opens. |
| The one based on the video game? I know it’s about cars, but you don’t play video games. Is this another “research” project? Can’t you just go to the movie to escape vs. think? |
| That is my plan. I know it will have great race scenes, but it is “inspired” by the true story of a teenage Gran Turismo player who wants to be a race car driver. Think of it as a modern-day “My Fair Lady” – except instead of trying to turn someone into a lady, they are trying to turn them into a world-class racer. |
| That analogy got my attention, although I doubt it’s how they’re marketing it. But it does sound like something that needs to be seen on a big screen. |
| The movie that was made to be seen on the big screen is “Oppenheimer.” And, I mean literally, as it was specifically filmed for viewing not only in a movie theater, but on a 70mm IMAX screen, of which there are only 30 worldwide. And, if you are wondering, two are in Texas – Dallas and San Antonio. |
| Oh, I know! I already checked because the movie was done by the acclaimed writer-director Christopher Nolan, who also did “Inception,” one of Natasha’s and my favorite movies. |
| So, is your dilemma which to see first? |
| No, it’s that I want to go to San Antonio to see “Oppenheimer” on the 70mm screen, but they’re saying it’s only going to be showing for three weeks, and all the weekend tickets are already sold out. And the weekday ones are going fast, so I have to figure out how to get your permission to take a day off. |
| Well, that does not sound like a dilemma – it sounds like a road trip. Have fun. |
Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye. | |
Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness "to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call. | |
Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities. | |
I think you mean DIFF-abilities. | |
Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. | |
Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings? |
I know that you completely changed my way of thinking, not only about Natasha but about the concept of "disabilities" full stop. It opened my eyes – and my brain – about how just because someone has challenges or limited abilities in some areas, that doesn't mean they don't have different gifts and strengths in other areas. | |
Exactly. Although autism is a "spectrum condition" meaning it affects people differently and to varying degrees, it is a complex developmental disorder that can affect a person's social skills, and ability to communicate and interact with others. However, autistic people usually possess some extremely valuable traits that are rare in non-autistic people. | |
Which is why it frustrates me that so many people feel like those with disabilities, excuse me DIFF-abilities, are "lesser" people. When Natasha was diagnosed, she was in her teens and already had a very strong personality (no doubt inherited from you) and, luckily, seemed to have an innate understanding that she was just different, not better, not worse, than others. I guess one of the biggest challenges is to get others to see things with the same mindset. | |
We are a story-telling society, and there are countless stories of people with DIFF-abilities, including those with autism, that are eye-opening and more powerful than anything we could ever say. | |
Funny you say that, as I was curious to learn more about autism and found some inspiring quotes (including a wonderful Tom Hanks clip) that not only gave me great insight but made me smile. One of my favorites was how Paul Collins, an author and parent of an autistic child, said, "Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." That's such a great way to describe not only those with autism but any disability. | |
Well, technically, it will fit, but it requires that the diameter of the circle be larger than the diagonal of the square. Basic geometry. But, I understand Paul Collin's point. | |
Talk about DIFF-abilities! Couldn't you just agree with me? | |
The thought never crossed my mind. |
More Important Than A First Chance? Have You Ever Wanted A Second Chance?
We’ve all wanted a “second chance” at some point in our lives. A “do-over” for a mistake we made, a bad decision, or something that didn’t work out well. An opportunity to show (to ourselves and to others) that we learned our lesson.
Now imagine that second chance being life-changing. For many people who’ve found themselves on the wrong side of the law, a second chance might be all they need to turn their lives around. Which is why April was designated Second Chance Month and why we’re rerunning what changed Red’s perspective on second chances …
| I had no idea that April was “Second Chance Month” until you sent me the official proclamation. I find it interesting that in the midst of juggling our usual million and one Red & Black things, your interest in criminal justice, which I know you consider a “passion project”, is as strong as ever, maybe even stronger. |
| It is not intentional, sometimes “ passion projects” find you. And, when you least expect it. |
| Or where you least expect it! Only you would take a “field trip” to a men’s prison. |
| I will not get on my soapbox about how our education system contributes to the criminal justice problem. I will never forget a friend of mine who was formerly incarcerated telling me, “Rehabilitating people makes the assumption they were habilitated in the first place.” |
| When you stop and think about that statement, it’s pretty powerful! But I have to smile as once upon a time you, and I, used words like “offenders” and “prisoners” until we learned how our choice of words could be dehumanizing . |
| Says the woman who once believed in the idea of “lock ’em up and throw away the key”. |
| That was before! I know you told me that just because someone made a bad decision, it didn’t make them a bad person, but it sounded like a cliche. Now, my opinion is based on our experience and the impact we’ve seen . The feedback has been eye-opening. Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with “do-overs.” |
| Exactly. None of us are perfect. We have all made bad decisions. Second chances are about opportunities to show we have learned from our mistakes. |
| Well, I know I have. Obviously, not anything illegal. But it made me determined to teach my daughters what I had learned. Probably one of the most heartwarming parts of the feedback we’ve received is that so many people on the inside want better – not only for themselves, but for their children and grandchildren. |
| Yes, which is why having a second chance is so critical. And, helping set people up for success, not failure, because it is about more than changing the lives of the formerly incarcerated -- it can change the lives of their families and, in turn, our communities and our country. |
| A ripple effect that could mean more people may get it right the first time and not need a second chance. |
| True. Maybe we should look at it as giving society a second chance … |
Maybe Skin Cancer Advice, But Don’t Expect A Compliment From A Sarcastic Sister
I'll never forget the day. It was an "almost" ordinary day out on the golf course with my mom and dad during the heat of a Long Island summer. Now, if "Long Island" conjures up images of stately manors on the North Shore (think "Great Gatsby") or beachfront mansions in the Hamptons (think Robin Leach and his popular show "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"), you can put those out of your head. I'm not talking about some fancy country club golf course, just a regular public course.
I loved the game ever since I learned to play as a teenager, and although I never got to play while at college (Wake Forest, which was renowned for its golf program, with its most famous alumni being Arnold Palmer), I'd try to get out as often as possible when I was home. I wasn't a phenomenal player but had a decent game and natural talent. And most of the time, I hit it pretty straight, so one of the things I enjoyed was walking down the middle of the fairway, pulling my clubs along (no fancy golf carts on this course), appreciating the day and the sport.
On one (very rare) occasion, my sister came back to New York to visit, as she moved out of state as soon as she graduated from business school. She also played golf, but unlike me, who relied on natural ability and played for fun, she worked extremely hard at her game, was overly competitive, and played "business golf". The result was that she was a far better player than me, although I was holding my own on that day.
As Black often says, the scorecard contains only numbers, no editorial. And it would ultimately show that she'd beat me, but as we were each walking up one of the last holes toward our respective balls, in the heat of a late summer afternoon, with the sun at our backs, I was secretly hoping that she'd be proud of me. So, after I hit my fairway shot onto the green, I heard her call out to me, and my hopes were high,
I wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry, or be angry. Or to just roll my eyes as it really was something only my sister would say. And to this day, I'm not even sure if she had even noticed how close I came to beating her and how well I played – "upping" my game driven by her much better game.
But I also know that I can never look down at my very pale legs without laughing just a little at how a lifetime ago (or so it seems), she was so right. Recently, when she treated me to my first pair of Birkenstocks, I stood in the store trying them on, and before she had a chance to say it I told her … Yes, I do look like I have on white hose.
P. S. – I feel it only fair (pun intended) to have a P.S. for a P.S.A. – Long ago, the harm of the summer sun wasn't as well known, but in the years since, we've learned how important sunblock is. Year-round. So, whether you're a redhead who never tans (I used to cycle between being extremely pale and burning red and back again) or someone who does tan, take care of your skin!