Words & Banter

RED & BLACK ... This Too Shall Pass Over

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash


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Ok, I'm not trying to be overly dramatic. But over the last few nights, I keep thinking about that scene from The Ten Commandments where the mist rolls in and the first- born children of Egypt are in danger. The corona virus is like that mist, an unseen but deadly force.


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Actually, that Passover scene is a great analogy and visual. So, in all the COVID- craziness, were you able to prepare for Passover? And, how many pounds of matzo did you buy?


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None! I still have a 5-lb box left over from last year. That's the great thing about matzo, it starts out stale.


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True. I wonder if it even has an expiration date. Hopefully, you were able to get everything else you wanted without spending too long in the grocery store.


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It wasn't too bad. It really helped that I started making lists and stocking up on general items a few weeks before the "mad dash" to grocery stores began.


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Given how you have always loved lists, and loading up on sale items, I am not surprised.


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You can laugh at my lists, but when everyone was hunting for toilet paper and basics, I only had to shop for perishables. I used to go to the grocery story every few days, now I only go weekly.


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I probably should not admit this, but over a month ago I ordered toilet paper on Amazon Prime. I thought I bought a family size package, but when it arrived it was a case of family size packages. I am set for a while.


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Well, I probably have enough cream cheese to last us until the Fourth of July. It's not a high demand item, except in this house. And getting a brisket, and everything to go with it, is now a "cooking concept" that I do on a regular basis – making a meal that feeds us for several nights.


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I use that same approach for restaurant take-out. So, did you get horseradish and gefilte fish?


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No. I hate gefilte fish.


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The only way I can eat it is if it is hidden under a mountain of horseradish. But, that is not the point. The horseradish is a bitter herb, and eaten as a reminder of the bitter slavery of Jews in Egypt.


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At the risk of stating the obvious, don't you think there's enough "bitterness" around us with this awful coronavirus. I really don't think a root vegetable is necessary.


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First of all, you can look at the "bitterness" of the current situation, or you can look at all the people pulling together. Yes, there is dread … but there is also hope for a better day. Because, this too shall pass. And, that is the significance of Passover. And Easter. It makes us stop and think of how the past has brought us where we are today. Everyone needs reminders because, unfortunately, it is human nature to forget.


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I'm almost afraid to ask, but as inconceivable as it may seem now, do you think that when this corona crisis passes, people will forget the hardships we're all now facing?


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Totally forget? No. Focus on day-to-day living and moving forward? Yes. Which is not a bad thing, if they learned from this crisis.


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I guess that's why traditions and holidays are so important. They help us to remember pain and suffering. I'll admit that I don't do an elaborate Seder with all the customary foods and don't recite all the prayers, but we do sit down as a family and recognize the significance of Passover.


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What I find amazing, and inspiring, is how many families that cannot come together in person this year are finding new ways to maintain traditions. The use of technology, like Zoom, Face Time, and Google Hangout, means people can "virtually" be together.


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So, you could have a Seder Skype-style?! There's no doubt this is a time of ingenuity.


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A crisis is often when mankind is at its best. Especially as it forces us to think about what is most important. Which is each other. It makes us see that we all have more in common than not. That nothing is more precious than our family, our friends, our lives.


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Yes, but it seems that it comes at a very high cost. The current situation is so grim and the numbers are escalating every day. Isn't there anything we can do? In Biblical times, the Jews were able to mark their doors with the blood from the sacrificial lamb so that death would pass over their house.


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Think about that. They hid in their houses and marked their doors. The stay-in-place orders are basically doing the same thing, except since it applies to all of us, we do not have to mark our doors. If we want to reduce deaths, we have to reduce the spread of COVID- 19. And, it is not only about our families and loved ones. We have to do everything possible so that hospitals will not be pushed beyond their limits and to make sure that urgent medical supplies are available to all those truly in need.


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It sounds so simplistic, but it really is true. Each of us can make a difference, so each of us that can stay home, should stay home. If you have to go out, practice social distancing. Everyone needs to keep washing their hands, using hand sanitizer, and practicing social distance. I wish there was a way to get that message out to everyone!


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Maybe there is, but then you will accuse me of being warm and fuzzy, which is your area of expertise.


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Now you have me curious.


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Call or text the people you love. Make sure they are doing everything they can to stay safe. And, if not, encourage them to do so, and tell them why.


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You're right, that's way too warm and fuzzy, and totally out of character for you.


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Do not worry, this too shall pass.

Want to read other columns? Here's a list.

Photo by chameleoneye for iStock

Tonight is the first night of Chanukah (FYI, there are multiple "correct" spellings), and while Red may be celebrating the Festival of Lights with potato latkes (pancakes), when she lights the menorah to symbolize bringing light into darkness, she’ll be laughing at Black’s car analogy …



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At the risk of Black coming up with another potato analogy, for me, Chanukah's all about potato latkes. The childhood memories of our dad grating pounds and pounds of potatoes to the point where I'm not sure I could see our kitchen table, many decades later, my eldest daughter taste-testing latkes from an assortment of places. (I love to cook, but latkes are a lot of work.)

Of course, the lighting of the menorah is also such a special part of the holiday celebration, whether the electric menorah that my parents had where you would "twist" each light bulb as the nights progressed or the more traditional menorah with candles that my daughters and I light each year (and never leave unattended).


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I never cease to be amazed by the miracle of Chanukah (regardless of whether you spell it Chanukah or Hanukkah, or some other variation) and how the oil that was only supposed to last one day instead lasted for eight days. It is as if your cellphone indicated it is at 12% but lasts eight days. Or, if the gas gauge in your car indicates you have 25 miles left, but you are able to drive 200 miles. Sometimes things happen that defy logic, and that is where faith takes over. And, a belief in something bigger than all of us.

Tomorrow is the start of Chanukah, the Festival of Lights, which celebrates hope and miracles – and who could not use hope and miracles?

Happy Chanukah!

Photo by Rabbitti for iStock

Every year on #GivingTuesday, Red tells Black that she knows how important giving is – whether time or money – but, unlike Black, she doesn’t have a meaningful charity that’s been part of her life for decades. We often “repeat” the conversation below, but this year, Black suggested that Red use #GivingTuesday to think about what charity inspires her or holds special meaning, and then get involved. Making it personal often ends up making it a year-round passion rather than a one-off obligation.

But no matter how you approach charity, beware of potential scammers. And, if in doubt — check them out! (Black likes GuideStar and Charity Navigator.)



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I know today’s Giving Tuesday, but what I always find so amazing is how you treat every day as “Giving Tuesday."


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What makes you say that? I do not donate to an organization or charity every day.


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You’re always so literal. I meant that the spirit of “giving to others”, whether donating or providing support in some way, seems to be part of your daily life.


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I think you are exaggerating.
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Underlying photo by Alleko on iStock

What’s so funny about the holiest day in Judaism, Yom Kippur, the “Day of Atonement”? A day where you fast as a way to help you deeply reflect on your past year, asking forgiveness, and then promising to do better.

Well, technically, nothing is funny about the holiday, but every time we think of this speaking engagement, it makes us laugh (as it did our audience) …



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I know that Yom Kippur isn't exactly known as one of the "fun" Jewish holidays, but every year, I can't help but laugh at what's easily my number one Yom Kippur memory.


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That is what makes memories … memorable. And, finding something to laugh at on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, which is probably the most important and solemn Jewish holiday, would be memorable.


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I can't believe you're not even curious what it is!?
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