So, here I am again offering up some college application tips from the perspective of a non-expert. Unless you count being the mom of a high school senior who's applying to many colleges and is a bit of a procrastinator. Now, to be fair to my daughter, she's very much like her aunt, Black, and does her best work at what others may perceive as the "last minute". But whether you're like me, who'd start planning for college essays a year in advance or more like my daughter, I think (and hope) the following tips may be useful:
- List The Essays Early
- Essay Questions May Be Generic – Answers Should Not
There are many required items when applying to colleges, which grows quickly when applying to a bunch of schools, and the essays can easily get lost until the end when you start reviewing what still needs to be done. By then, you may have a very tight deadline for something that often takes the longest time to complete. So, make sure to carefully go through each school and its essay requirements early, especially as some schools have additional essay requirements on top of the essays required on the Common Application or other general application system you may be using.
-
Each of us is a unique individual, with our own voice. We come from different backgrounds with
different experiences and perspectives, so each essay is an opportunity for you
to demonstrate who you are. Many
students can write well, but look at the essays as a way to differentiate yourself
from other applicants, to show a side of you that might not be obvious from the
rest of your application. To put it
another way, when my daughter shared with me several of her essay replies, to
what I thought were pretty general essay questions, I told her, "I never knew
that was how you felt, I never knew why that was so important to you". And I have a close relationship with my
daughter!
- The Hardest Part – Start Drafting
- An Easier Part – Proofing
I suspect it's the rare individual who loves starting at a blank piece of paper or a "white" computer screen. Drafting an essay requires thought and may include going down memory lane to identify things that can be applied to the essay topic. For me, starting is the hardest part of writing. For Black, I'd guess that she just starts with lots of bullet points. So, at the risk of a major "duh" moment, you just have to start, whether it's with narrative or bullet points to be fleshed out later. The good news is that there's no wrong way.
-
Boring,
probably. Tedious, definitely. Invaluable, yes! My daughter swears by Grammarly and I promise
this isn't a "paid advertisement". But I
do know that it doesn't take a brain surgeon to know that spelling and grammar
is absolutely critical on a college application essay. I also know that Black and I often proofread
each other's work, which leads to …
- Get Another Set Of Eyes
-
Get
someone who knows you (and, ideally, is a good writer) to review your essay for
both content and, especially, to proof the essay. But this can get a little tricky as you need
to let them know it's important that your voice stays authentic, and that you
need their help to make sure your message is clear and well-written.
- Is It Plagiarism If You Steal From Yourself?
-
Save
essays! I can remember when I mentioned
this to my daughter and she gave me that daughter "look" where she rolls her
eyes, and then proceeded to tell me that she has a file folder on her laptop that
had all the essay questions and her final essays. And that she often "borrowed" from herself as
she worked on each school's essays because although the questions might not be
identical, the content she had already written was often fairly easy for her to
"repurpose" with a bit of editing here and there.
Of course, I was curious to find out how Black would approach this topic, although it had been a very long time since either one of us had applied to colleges. (Hint: we wrote essays on typewriters!) Black's reply?
First, I would use an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of everything. In terms of essay content – qualitative information is very cut and dry, what differentiates people is the qualitative. When I was in the corporate world, I wanted to understand why potential employees wanted to work for us and why they thought they were a good fit. I would think colleges feel the same way.
Wouldn’t it be great if life came with instructions? Since it doesn’t, we thought a few good reminders could help … so we created this list.
For those who know us, it won’t come as any surprise that we each approach almost everything differently. But after decades of comparing notes, debating decisions, and occasionally driving each other crazy, we’ve learned a few things about getting through life.
Consider this list our practical, slightly (ok, maybe more than slightly) opinionated guide to approaching life.
Use it, tweak it, or trash it. The choice is yours.
- Start somewhere
You don’t need the perfect plan, you need a first step
- Ask why
It’s Black’s favorite question — and where better decisions begin
- Look at things “another way”
Red and Black almost always do
- Don’t confuse feelings with facts
Both matter, but they aren’t the same thing
- Use what helps — ignore what doesn’t
Advice, like shoes, is not one-size-fits-all
- Talk about it (with someone you trust to listen, be honest, and not judge)
Sometimes saying something out loud helps you see it more clearly
- Make a list
Not just because you love lists (that would be Red), but to help you focus
- Expect things to change
The goal may stay the same even when the route changes
- Ask for help
Others can’t help you if you don’t let them know you need it
- Keep moving forward
A small step forward is still a step in the right direction
- Laugh when you can
It may not change your situation, but it can make it easier to face
- Take control of what you can
Accept that some things are not yours to fix
Consider keeping this list handy … different moments call for different reminders.
Sometimes, the hardest part of a meaningful conversation is simply getting started ...
| I love that people told us they were using our sisterly banter to start conversations with family, friends, coworkers, and even in classrooms. But I had to laugh when you then decided to create an assortment of CONVERSATION STARTERS. | |
| | It seemed logical to me. Begin with us looking at a real-life topic and providing our very different (to put it mildly) perspectives. Then, provide a few questions to help continue the conversation, consider other viewpoints, and perhaps learn something new. About the topic and one another. |
| The best part is that there are no “right” or “wrong” answers. You may not agree, but you can still listen, be polite, and respect differing viewpoints and opinions. The point is to … |
Stop, think, listen, and talk.
Red & Black Conversation Starters … Pick a topic. Read the banter. Choose a question that interests you. Or create your own. The questions are simply there to get the conversation started — where it goes from there is up to you.
P.S. – Readers are telling us that our weekly newsletters are getting them thinking, talking, and even laughing. But don’t take our word for it, sign up at the bottom of this page and see for yourself!
Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking.
| When I first heard the term "digital literacy," I wasn't exactly sure what it meant, but I'll admit that I feel like a dinosaur when it comes to technology, and usually turn to my daughters for help. I don't know if it's just generational, but I'm intimidated by my computer, and although I can do the basics, any time things go "wrong", I default into panic mode, followed by feeling lost and frustrated. And the thought of buying a new computer? Well, it gives me a headache — not only the cost but especially learning how to use it. And if I lose internet service, I feel disconnected from the world. (I guess that can sometimes be a good thing.) Then there's my cell phone, and I admit that smartphones often make me feel stupid. I remember when phones were landlines, and cordless was a big deal. Now I'm walking around with a small computer that also makes phone calls and takes photos. I've learned how to text, load some simple apps, and even how to set the alarm clock, but that's about it. |
| I know us "older" people think younger people are technology-savvy, but many are merely technology-dependent, which is very different. Technology is much more than access and setup. Being able to use computers, smartphones, and the internet covers a wide range of "basics" (such as emails and other communication tools, web browsers, and search engines), and there are specific computer skills that improve our productivity (such as word processing and spreadsheets). Plus, you often need web conferencing skills (like Zoom or other audio and video applications) to interview for a job. But, that is only the beginning. Since we live in a digital world, we need the skills to find and analyze information, and also make sure it is accurate and credible. (What is that adage, "Garbage in — garbage out"?) However, it is not only finding the right information, it is then knowing what to do with it. Including what and how to share. |
THE CONVERSATION STARTERS
- How would you describe digital literacy? What skills do you think are necessary to manage daily life? To be successful in the workplace?
- Why does using technology correctly seem so daunting?
- What do you think is the best way to learn about technology and become digitally literate?
- How do you decide whether online information is accurate and credible?
P.S. – You might be interested in this animated video on Research & Analytical Skills we did as part of a soft skills series for The Greater Houston Partnership's UpSkill Houston initiative.


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