Banter Bites

Is Being Old A Secret Weapon?

With age comes wisdom … and years of hard work.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: You can't change the facts, but much like the glass half full vs. glass half empty analogy, how one looks at getting older – or at failing – can make all the difference, as Red soon discovered from Black's unexpected reaction to, of all things, a golf tournament.

It all began when Black asked Red if she had watched the PGA Championship, the second of the four "major" men's golf tournaments. Red admitted that she hadn't yet had seen the headlines about Phil Mickelson having won it, which was amazing given that while he's had an incredible career, the last years have been less than stellar. But when she commented that sports, like so many things, favor the young, she definitely wasn't expecting Black's response,

"Old People" – however you want to define old – are on a roll. In 2019, Tom Brady, at the age of 41, became the NFL's oldest quarterback to ever win a Super Bowl. In 2020, President Biden, at the age of 77, became the oldest person ever elected president. Now, Phil Mickelson, at the age of 50, becomes the oldest golfer to ever win a major championship.

That caught Red totally off guard, as Black often laments about having to speed walk instead of running to "save" her knees, and even though Red's the younger (by five years) sister and still feels young at heart, she's also noticed that it's not as easy to do things as when she was younger – whether physically, like working out, or work, in terms of stamina or concentration.

However, it reminded Red of one of her favorite movies, Space Cowboys, and how age might be a physical hindrance but unquestionably provides a wealth of knowledge and wisdom, both personal and professional, that can only be gained over time. Or via a mother's unwavering desire to give her children advice. In this case, it was Phil Mickelson's mom, who sent a text message to her son via Phil's sister,

Text Philip and tell him just to par in. Don't hit bombs or activate calves. Just par. They will have to catch him. He won't listen to his mother so you text him. Hurry.

Phil played his game. The one that got him there. And the rest is history. But what Black found most inspirational about this win actually happened about a week before the PGA Championship began, when Phil tweeted,

I've failed many times in my life and career and because of this I've learned a lot. Instead of feeling defeated countless times, I've used it as fuel to drive me to work harder. So today, join me in accepting our failures. Let's use them to motivate us to work even harder.
words of wisdom
THE BIG PICTURE2

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WHERE DO I START?

The last thing Red wanted to think about when she was in the midst of her crisis was her long-term goals and purpose. Her dreams had just been shattered, and the future was a dark and distant blur. She was barely getting through the day. She’d worry about tomorrow tomorrow. But once things started to settle down, she decided she was ready to think about tomorrow, and the days after that.

HERE’S ONE THING …

Red, like most of us, plans by starting with today. Black encouraged Red to try a different approach. Why not start with the end in mind? Start with what you want your life to look like, and work backward. Black’s Backward Planning Worksheet helps you think about where you want to be rather than where you are now – so you can plan how to get there.

THERE’S SO MUCH MORE!

Having direction in your life will change the way you look at things. It’s the difference between just driving around and driving with purpose. Knowing there’s more than one road to your destination lets you step back and ask yourself, “Am I making good decisions today that keep me pointed in the right direction?” If you aren’t, you make changes. Because life is a journey, not a destination, we created THE BIG PICTURE.

**IT HAPPENS2

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WHERE DO I START?

When a crisis hits, it’s devastating. There’s no sugar-coating it. You ask yourself, why me? Why now? When it happened to Red, she felt like her whole life was collapsing. Her emotions were all over the place, jumping from fear to anger to sadness, mixed with feeling lost and alone. The more she thought about it, the worse it all seemed.

HERE’S ONE THING …


When something bad happens, we just want it to be a bad dream and wake up to how things used to be. We can’t change the past, but we can change our mindset to focus on what we can control. (Not sure you can? Check out Black’s A Control Freak’s Approach To Crisis Management – an amusing but thought-provoking multiple choice questionnaire.) When we do, we make situations better for ourselves and the people around us, as it gives us the focus and confidence we need to get through it.

THERE’S SO MUCH MORE!

We all react differently. What one person sees as a crisis may not be seen the same way by someone else, but that doesn’t make it any less of a crisis to the person experiencing it. The one constant is needing the confidence in yourself and the support of others (no one should face a crisis alone) to make it through to the other side. We created **IT HAPPENS in the hope it will help you, and the people you care about, get through a crisis.

DOLLARS & SENSE2

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WHERE DO I START?

Red went from living with our parents to living with her husband, and managed to avoid learning about money. That was until her husband got fired and she was forced to pull her ostrich head out of the sand and face the ugly truth about their family finances. She had been a theater major, so was convinced she couldn’t deal with money, but knew Black wouldn’t cut her any slack if she didn’t try.

HERE’S ONE THING …

After Red started using Black’s Smart V. “Less Than Smart” Spending Exercise, she realized that it doesn’t matter how much money you have or how well you think you’re managing it (if you’re managing it), most of us spend way too much on things we don’t need. She was the self-proclaimed poster child of stupid spending! Why not give the exercise a try, maybe even do it with others (family and friends), and see what you think of the results? It may surprise you!

THERE’S SO MUCH MORE!

We’re not financial experts, but we know understanding a few basic concepts and making several easy-to-implement changes can make a big difference. (Initially, Red was scared and intimidated, but now thinks of them as “duh moments”). She felt like her money controlled her instead of the other way around. Can you relate? Managing money can feel overwhelming without some guidance and support. That’s why we created DOLLARS & SENSE.