With age comes wisdom … and years of hard work.
BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: You can't change the facts, but much like the glass half full vs. glass half empty analogy, how one looks at getting older – or at failing – can make all the difference, as Red soon discovered from Black's unexpected reaction to, of all things, a golf tournament.
It all began when Black asked Red if she had watched the PGA Championship, the second of the four "major" men's golf tournaments. Red admitted that she hadn't yet had seen the headlines about Phil Mickelson having won it, which was amazing given that while he's had an incredible career, the last years have been less than stellar. But when she commented that sports, like so many things, favor the young, she definitely wasn't expecting Black's response,
"Old People" – however you want to define old – are on a roll. In 2019, Tom Brady, at the age of 41, became the NFL's oldest quarterback to ever win a Super Bowl. In 2020, President Biden, at the age of 77, became the oldest person ever elected president. Now, Phil Mickelson, at the age of 50, becomes the oldest golfer to ever win a major championship.
That caught Red totally off guard, as Black often laments about having to speed walk instead of running to "save" her knees, and even though Red's the younger (by five years) sister and still feels young at heart, she's also noticed that it's not as easy to do things as when she was younger – whether physically, like working out, or work, in terms of stamina or concentration.
However, it reminded Red of one of her favorite movies, Space Cowboys, and how age might be a physical hindrance but unquestionably provides a wealth of knowledge and wisdom, both personal and professional, that can only be gained over time. Or via a mother's unwavering desire to give her children advice. In this case, it was Phil Mickelson's mom, who sent a text message to her son via Phil's sister,
Text Philip and tell him just to par in. Don't hit bombs or activate calves. Just par. They will have to catch him. He won't listen to his mother so you text him. Hurry.
Phil played his game. The one that got him there. And the rest is history. But what Black found most inspirational about this win actually happened about a week before the PGA Championship began, when Phil tweeted,
I've failed many times in my life and career and because of this I've learned a lot. Instead of feeling defeated countless times, I've used it as fuel to drive me to work harder. So today, join me in accepting our failures. Let's use them to motivate us to work even harder.
So, when Black mentions Redhead Appreciation Day, I know it’s related to Red & Black and not her being “nice” and giving me a day off (or telling me that she appreciates me). And when she asks, “What is it like to be a redhead, Red?” part of me wants to reply, “What’s it like not to be a redhead?” because, for my entire life, I’ve been “Red.” (There’s a story there, but I’ll get to it later.) The honest answer is, well, I never thought about it, until now …
I know that redheads often have a reputation for being fiery and hot-tempered, but I managed to escape that characteristic. (Although it amuses me that many people make that assumption about me before they even get to know me.) Ironically, I’ve always preferred to blend in and not make any waves (good or bad). But being a redhead does tend to make you stand out in the crowd (unless, of course, you’re in Scotland or Ireland, in which case, being a redhead helps you blend in), and growing up, I just accepted the attention in my stride.
It never seemed to bother me. Not even when I lived in China, which was definitely an experience on so many fronts. But while many things were to be expected (and, to some degree, endured, but that’s another post for another day), being a redhead wasn’t something I thought about. Until the first time I went for a bike ride through the streets of Shanghai on a hot summer’s day,
Everyone was pointing at me. Was it because I was a Westerner on a bike? (This was in the 1990s, and I was part of the first wave of ex-pats in Shanghai.) Or maybe a woman alone? I know my pale skin and whiter than white legs weren’t anything special. Then I noticed that everyone was pointing at my hair. Being a redhead (especially with very long hair and before the days of bike helmets to hide it) in China meant I’d never escape being noticed.
Unfortunately, the other thing I’d never escape, like most fair skin people, especially redheads, is that my skin burns easily. Growing up, it was extremely frustrating as all my friends tanned (ok, this was in the days before we knew of the dangers of the sun), and I had only two color options – white and red (as in bright red!).
Then I started wondering whether being a redhead explains why I blush so easily (I can only imagine the research Black will send me, so I won’t mention it to her). Or whether it’s just a function of having such pale skin that makes it more noticeable. But just the thought of how easily I blush is embarrassing, which in turn causes me to blush. Which I guess makes me Red with a red face.
Interestingly, although I go by the nickname Red, I never knew of any other redheads called Red. Even my daughters, both redheads, have never been called Red. (Although they’d tell me that occasionally someone would call them “Ginger,” but each of them shut that down pretty quickly.) But being called Red has never bothered me, although it might be because of how my nickname originated.
Which is the story I alluded to earlier, and, of course, it’s all Black’s fault, so I’ll let her tell the story,
On the day my parents brought my sister home from the hospital, I quickly glanced at my new (and not entirely welcome) baby sister with her bright red hair, and immediately called her “Red.” To which my mother told me, and not in a kind motherly way, but instead rather emphatically, to NEVER call her that again. So, from that day forward, I never called her anything else.
Are you familiar with Hispanic Heritage Month? If not, maybe it’s time.
BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: It seems like every month has a “national celebration”, and although we both agree there’s so much to celebrate during Hispanic Heritage Month, Red initially focused on the strange timing (starting mid-month) while Black focused on the lesser known (yet significant) achievements of the Hispanic community, as well as a name-calling incident that she can’t forget.
Red will admit that she only first heard of Hispanic Heritage Month in 2021, which is pretty surprising given that she loves history (ok, Tudor England is her area of interest) and has lived in Texas (which has a large Hispanic population) for over twenty years! With her first question being,
Like any good straight-A student, I can memorize that it’s celebrated from September 15 through October 15, but that doesn’t make much sense to me. So, I’ve got to ask Black’s favorite question, why?
Well, after a bit of research (by Black, of course, who believes homework never ends, you just call it research when you grow up), Red learned that the unusual starting date of the month-long celebration is in honor of the anniversaries of independence for many Latin American countries. Which led to her next questions,
It’s called Hispanic Heritage Month, but it also seems to cover Latino achievements and contributions. Or is it Latinx? What’s the difference? Is there a difference?
Black wanted to avoid these questions as the answers aren’t black and white (no pun intended, especially as she didn’t want to get into the topic of why AP News decided to capitalize “Black” but not “brown” or “white” when referencing people by the color of their skin). And although “Hispanic vs. Latino” is easier to explain, there’s controversy over the “Latinx” term. Plus, the “labeling of people” reminded Black of an ugly – and infuriating – incident where a friend was questioned about not being “brown enough”. So, she decided to focus on what is far more important,
Are you aware of the contributions Hispanics have made to American history? Or, the breadth of their accomplishments, including patents). Not only are they impressive, but they have had a far-reaching and lasting impact on the country.
Everyone should celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month, whether by attending a festival, a concert, a parade, reading about notable Hispanic Americans, or even watching a movie or documentary. Or, if you’re like Red, comparing “In The Heights” to “West Side Story.”