Is Being Old A Secret Weapon?

With age comes wisdom … and years of hard work.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: You can't change the facts, but much like the glass half full vs. glass half empty analogy, how one looks at getting older – or at failing – can make all the difference, as Red soon discovered from Black's unexpected reaction to, of all things, a golf tournament.

It all began when Black asked Red if she had watched the PGA Championship, the second of the four "major" men's golf tournaments. Red admitted that she hadn't yet had seen the headlines about Phil Mickelson having won it, which was amazing given that while he's had an incredible career, the last years have been less than stellar. But when she commented that sports, like so many things, favor the young, she definitely wasn't expecting Black's response,

"Old People" – however you want to define old – are on a roll. In 2019, Tom Brady, at the age of 41, became the NFL's oldest quarterback to ever win a Super Bowl. In 2020, President Biden, at the age of 77, became the oldest person ever elected president. Now, Phil Mickelson, at the age of 50, becomes the oldest golfer to ever win a major championship.

That caught Red totally off guard, as Black often laments about having to speed walk instead of running to "save" her knees, and even though Red's the younger (by five years) sister and still feels young at heart, she's also noticed that it's not as easy to do things as when she was younger – whether physically, like working out, or work, in terms of stamina or concentration.

However, it reminded Red of one of her favorite movies, Space Cowboys, and how age might be a physical hindrance but unquestionably provides a wealth of knowledge and wisdom, both personal and professional, that can only be gained over time. Or via a mother's unwavering desire to give her children advice. In this case, it was Phil Mickelson's mom, who sent a text message to her son via Phil's sister,

Text Philip and tell him just to par in. Don't hit bombs or activate calves. Just par. They will have to catch him. He won't listen to his mother so you text him. Hurry.

Phil played his game. The one that got him there. And the rest is history. But what Black found most inspirational about this win actually happened about a week before the PGA Championship began, when Phil tweeted,

I've failed many times in my life and career and because of this I've learned a lot. Instead of feeling defeated countless times, I've used it as fuel to drive me to work harder. So today, join me in accepting our failures. Let's use them to motivate us to work even harder.

words of wisdom

Book Bites

Not A Trick Question ... Can Charity Be Selfish?

Chapter 15: I Need A Warning System

It’s easy to forget that charity is a year-round event, not just for the holiday season or when natural disasters happen. Since today’s International Day of Charity – Red couldn’t help but remember when Black explained her long-time involvement with Make-A-Wish (see below) … and realizing that helping others might end up being one of the best things you can do. For others. For yourself.

Typically, when Red asked Black questions, she received questions in return. Or flippant comments. When Red asked her about charity, and specifically Make-A-Wish, she got straight answers, and that alone got Red’s attention. Before this conversation, Red thought her sister’s involvement with Make-A-Wish was very generous, both of her time and her money, but attributed much of it to the fact she had surpluses of both in her life. But once Black made her realize that her involvement went back to her corporate life, years when she might have had spare money but was working ridiculous hours, Red gained a new respect for Black’s commitment. But when Black said how it had become her “reality check” on life, Red began to understand that we all need something to help us remember what’s genuinely important.

P.S. – Charity and helping others remain an important part of our lives (and, much to the chagrin of our accountants and attorneys, drive much of our work in the education and criminal justice worlds). Black’s long-time commitment to Make-A-Wish set an example for Red’s daughters when they were growing up, and made them aware of how important it is to not only appreciate what you have but to think of others. And whether it’s an ongoing commitment to a single organization, helping various charities throughout the year, celebrating targeted donation days (such as #GivingTuesday or World Wish Day), or when specific natural disasters or humanitarian needs require immediate aid, charitable giving (whether money or time) – can make all the difference. Not only to the recipient, but as Black pointed out to Red all those years ago, for yourself.

red head assets.rebelmouse.io

I’m curious about something, though. As children, we were never exposed to charity, so what got you involved with Make-A-Wish? Even Natasha has asked me about Make-A-Wish, because she has seen the kids’ artwork at your house and recognizes the logo from seeing it on your race car.

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charity

Ask Red & Black

It’s hotter than ever … tips for looking “nice” during the heat?!

FULL QUESTION: It’s hotter than ever …do you have any tips for looking “nice” during the heat of the summer?

Summers are hotter than ever, but it’s always been a challenge to look put together (forget polished) in August. Especially in the Houston area, so here's an “Ask Red & Black” summer rerun … because some things never go out of style …

assets.rebelmouse.io

I'm laughing because I suspect Black would argue that I rarely look "nice" in the sense that I rarely "dress up". Even before the pandemic, unless I had a Red & Black business meeting or speaking engagement, my normal "look" was that of super comfy – workout or very casual clothing and minimal makeup. Here in Texas, where the heat and humidity are oppressive, I'm always looking for tips because the moment you step outside, you're going to start sweating, your makeup will drip, and your hair will either frizz or wilt (neither's a good look for me). So, I keep my skincare simple and summer-friendly – extremely lightweight, tinted facial moisturizer with a high SPF (so I only need a single product) and waterproof mascara.

I've never been very creative when managing my long hair for the summer, but my daughter let me in on a secret when she straightened my hair for me. Unlike my rushed approach, she took an extra 10 minutes to do it in smaller sections, which looked great when my hair was down but, amazingly, even made my ponytail look "finished". Taking a little more time to do it right makes a huge difference as now my hair stands up to the heat and humidity. (Good news is she's always willing to do it for me, bad news is that she goes to college in a few months, so I'll have to learn how to do it myself.)

Black assets.rebelmouse.io

When I started racing cars in the mid-1990s, I cut my hair very short so I could easily style it with some water and hair goo when I removed my helmet, which makes it perfect for summer. (Plus, I calculated that I could save over 10 hours/month, or five full days a year, by not dealing with my hair.)

In terms of clothing, it is a function of where you are going or where you work (obviously, if you are in the banking industry, you will dress very differently than someone who works for a design or marketing firm). For the last few decades, I have worn the same "uniform" – dark slacks or jeans, white shirt, blazer, and colorful Hermès shawl. In the summer, I select pieces that are light-colored, loose-fitting, and breathable fabrics, but if I had to give one tip, it would be to wear layers since going in and out of air-conditioning can be a challenge, although I see it as a fashion opportunity. In fact, that is how my "signature" shawls started as, regardless of the season, I would always have one with me to handle changes in temperature.

appearances

DON’T MISS A THING

For Red & Black Banter in your inbox ...

Black assets.rebelmouse.io	It was years ago. I was invited to play in a Make-A-Wish golf tournament, and at the dinner some of the kids came out and told their Wish stories. They mentioned their illnesses and the doctors and the hospitals in passing — as if it was just a minor detail in their stories. But when they talked about their wishes, it was with such excitement and pure happiness that it was overwhelming. A few weeks earlier, I had received a huge bonus at work and so I was feeling flush with cash, and when I saw the power of a wish — the hope, the joy, the strength it could provide — it made me look at money in a totally different way. When you meet children who are seriously ill and you realize no amount of money can “fix the problem,” but yet something as simple as wishing for a puppy or to meet a celebrity can make such a huge difference in their lives, then you are reminded of what is really important in life. And what is not.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Wow. I don’t think I have ever heard you this passionate about anything.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Probably not. Make-A-Wish has been an important part of my life for a long time. I know I am very fortunate in many respects, but sometimes I get wrapped up in day-to-day life and forget that. I may have problems with one of the cars, or I am annoyed with Larry, or it is just a bad day, Make-A-Wish reminds me that my problems or frustrations are minuscule in the scheme of things.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	This is a side of you that I rarely see. I’m impressed. And proud.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Thanks, but Make-A-Wish does far more for me than I do for them. Partly as a substitute for not having children of my own, but more importantly as my reality check on life. It is my constant reminder of what is important. And although I may not be able to cure the kids, the fact I can make their lives a little better by helping grant wishes is the least — the very least — I can do in return.

red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Ever since you helped me drive through some totally unexpected, and very frightening, high-water years ago, I have a serious fear of storms. Then, having to evacuate due to Hurricane Harvey only made it worse.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	But, you now understand why you need to be pragmatic and as non-emotional as possible when dealing with serious weather events. Being safe means being prepared and staying informed.
red head assets.rebelmouse.io	Me, unemotional? Easier said than done, but you’re right. Which is why I love, and count on, The Eyewall and Space City Weather. Matt Lanza and Eric Berger always present everything in a way that balances my need to understand what’s happening and respects that some of us react emotionally to bad weather.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	They describe it as “hype-free forecasts.” Which, after following them for years, I can attest to that. And, is why we are sponsoring The Eyewall.