With age comes wisdom … and years of hard work.
BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: You can't change the facts, but much like the glass half full vs. glass half empty analogy, how one looks at getting older – or at failing – can make all the difference, as Red soon discovered from Black's unexpected reaction to, of all things, a golf tournament.
It all began when Black asked Red if she had watched the PGA Championship, the second of the four "major" men's golf tournaments. Red admitted that she hadn't yet had seen the headlines about Phil Mickelson having won it, which was amazing given that while he's had an incredible career, the last years have been less than stellar. But when she commented that sports, like so many things, favor the young, she definitely wasn't expecting Black's response,
"Old People" – however you want to define old – are on a roll. In 2019, Tom Brady, at the age of 41, became the NFL's oldest quarterback to ever win a Super Bowl. In 2020, President Biden, at the age of 77, became the oldest person ever elected president. Now, Phil Mickelson, at the age of 50, becomes the oldest golfer to ever win a major championship.
That caught Red totally off guard, as Black often laments about having to speed walk instead of running to "save" her knees, and even though Red's the younger (by five years) sister and still feels young at heart, she's also noticed that it's not as easy to do things as when she was younger – whether physically, like working out, or work, in terms of stamina or concentration.
However, it reminded Red of one of her favorite movies, Space Cowboys, and how age might be a physical hindrance but unquestionably provides a wealth of knowledge and wisdom, both personal and professional, that can only be gained over time. Or via a mother's unwavering desire to give her children advice. In this case, it was Phil Mickelson's mom, who sent a text message to her son via Phil's sister,
Text Philip and tell him just to par in. Don't hit bombs or activate calves. Just par. They will have to catch him. He won't listen to his mother so you text him. Hurry.
Phil played his game. The one that got him there. And the rest is history. But what Black found most inspirational about this win actually happened about a week before the PGA Championship began, when Phil tweeted,
I've failed many times in my life and career and because of this I've learned a lot. Instead of feeling defeated countless times, I've used it as fuel to drive me to work harder. So today, join me in accepting our failures. Let's use them to motivate us to work even harder.
Same family. Very different approaches to life.
Red is warm and fuzzy. Black is pragmatic and sarcastic.
- Red leads with her heart. Black leads with her head.
- Red wants to talk it through. Black wants to solve it.
- Red gives you the context. Black gives you the bottom line.
Which sounds more like you?
Which brings us to one of our favorite examples: When we had to explain the differences between us for the Introduction to What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, Red wrote pages with her usual blah-blah-blah. Black gave the book designer a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet.
Funny thing is that over the years, readers have not only told us which of us they’re more like, but also gone so far as to identify the “Reds” and “Blacks” in their own families. We even had a few who nicknamed themselves (one was “Brown,” another was “Bald”).
So, are you more like Red or Black? Or somewhere in between?
What does it take to build a legacy?
Not a building. An organization. And a leader with passion.
In 1991, Make-A-Wish of the Texas Gulf Coast (before it included Louisiana) was a young organization facing an uncertain future. Then Teri Andrepont became its CEO, and the chapter grew to be one of the most successful in the nation. Twenty-nine years and thousands of wishes later, she made the difficult decision to retire. How would we ever thank her?
The chapter had recently moved into a new building, and the Board unanimously decided to name it in Teri’s honor.
This video was created for the building dedication in 2022, and Black was one of the people asked to help tell Teri’s story. Why? Because Teri’s passion for Make-A-Wish was contagious — Black caught it early in Teri’s tenure and has served the organization for more than 30 years as a board member and advisor, a relationship that continues today.
| A legacy is not just what you build. It is what drives others to keep building. |
| I know everyone’s always trying to find balance in their life. I thought becoming an empty nester would make that easier, but apparently not. The girls may be grown, but being a mom doesn’t end when your children move out. Between them, Red & Black, and my seemingly endless lists of things to do, I still struggle. | |
| And, as I am a die-hard workaholic who admits to not having a life, you think I have the answer? | |
| Excellent point. Never mind. | |
| However, I do have some suggestions … although I will preface it with, "Do as I say, not as I do." |
| At this point, I'll take whatever help I can get. | |
| Sometimes you need to make a conscious effort to stay present. And, by that I mean appreciate what is happening now instead of thinking about what is next. Or, reminiscing about the past. | |
| That sounds good, but it also sounds overly simplistic, not to mention highly optimistic. And where would I even start? | |
| Easy. It really is as simple as 1 – 2 – 3. | |
| Nothing's that simple. | |
| 1. SLOW down and look around 2. STOP using your gizmo and consider putting it away 3. GO spend time with family or friends, or steal some "alone time" | |
| Actually, that does sound simple. Now I just have to remember to SLOW – STOP –GO. | |
| Just imagine a traffic light. Plus, it would have the added benefit of every time you see a real traffic light, it will remind you to SLOW –STOP – GO. | |
| I should've known there'd be a car or driving analogy in there somewhere. | |
| Throttle on ... |

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