Banter Bites

Is Being Old A Secret Weapon?

With age comes wisdom … and years of hard work.

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: You can't change the facts, but much like the glass half full vs. glass half empty analogy, how one looks at getting older – or at failing – can make all the difference, as Red soon discovered from Black's unexpected reaction to, of all things, a golf tournament.

It all began when Black asked Red if she had watched the PGA Championship, the second of the four "major" men's golf tournaments. Red admitted that she hadn't yet had seen the headlines about Phil Mickelson having won it, which was amazing given that while he's had an incredible career, the last years have been less than stellar. But when she commented that sports, like so many things, favor the young, she definitely wasn't expecting Black's response,

"Old People" – however you want to define old – are on a roll. In 2019, Tom Brady, at the age of 41, became the NFL's oldest quarterback to ever win a Super Bowl. In 2020, President Biden, at the age of 77, became the oldest person ever elected president. Now, Phil Mickelson, at the age of 50, becomes the oldest golfer to ever win a major championship.

That caught Red totally off guard, as Black often laments about having to speed walk instead of running to "save" her knees, and even though Red's the younger (by five years) sister and still feels young at heart, she's also noticed that it's not as easy to do things as when she was younger – whether physically, like working out, or work, in terms of stamina or concentration.

However, it reminded Red of one of her favorite movies, Space Cowboys, and how age might be a physical hindrance but unquestionably provides a wealth of knowledge and wisdom, both personal and professional, that can only be gained over time. Or via a mother's unwavering desire to give her children advice. In this case, it was Phil Mickelson's mom, who sent a text message to her son via Phil's sister,

Text Philip and tell him just to par in. Don't hit bombs or activate calves. Just par. They will have to catch him. He won't listen to his mother so you text him. Hurry.

Phil played his game. The one that got him there. And the rest is history. But what Black found most inspirational about this win actually happened about a week before the PGA Championship began, when Phil tweeted,

I've failed many times in my life and career and because of this I've learned a lot. Instead of feeling defeated countless times, I've used it as fuel to drive me to work harder. So today, join me in accepting our failures. Let's use them to motivate us to work even harder.
words of wisdom
Words & Banter

We Know ... Girls Can Do Anything!

Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

It’s Women’s History Month. Can you guess what Black has in common with Scarlett O’Hara (from “Gone With The Wind”) and the sitcoms “I Love Lucy” and “That Girl”? For the answer, check out one of our favorite posts …

What do the classic movie “Gone With The Wind,” the TV sitcom “That Girl,” and Lucille Ball have in common? At first glance, the answer is easy. They were hugely popular at the time but have stood the test of time as they continue to have fans decades later. Red, a theater major and movie buff, could explain all the “artistic” reasons why, but Black has (as always) a very different perspective.

It has to do with role models and how they can come from the most unexpected places – both real and fictional. Scarlett O’Hara, a heroine from the Civil War, was a fiercely independent woman (even by today’s standards), while Marlo Thomas portrayed “That Girl” as perhaps the first “modern woman”, one living on her own in a big city and pursuing a career vs. a family. But as Black points out to Red in “RED & BLACK … Girls Can Do Anything!,” it’s Lucille Ball that’s the ultimate badass (Black’s word, not Red’s), proving that you can be an amazing actress and comedian while simultaneously being a pioneer in the TV industry and a shrewd businesswoman.

And what better time than Women’s History Month to reflect on how women can inspire other women to do amazing things? After all, Black may not admit to being a role model, but she will admit that her racing a Ferrari has inspired countless girls over the years, and women of all ages are amused when she says, “How hard can it be? Boys do it.”

women's empowerment
THE BIG PICTURE

Intro headline for the big picture section


WHERE DO I START?

The last thing Red wanted to think about when she was in the midst of her crisis was her long-term goals and purpose. Her dreams had just been shattered, and the future was a dark and distant blur. She was barely getting through the day. She’d worry about tomorrow tomorrow. But once things started to settle down, she decided she was ready to think about tomorrow, and the days after that.

HERE’S ONE THING …

Red, like most of us, plans by starting with today. Black encouraged Red to try a different approach. Why not start with the end in mind? Start with what you want your life to look like, and work backward. Black’s Backward Planning Worksheet helps you think about where you want to be rather than where you are now – so you can plan how to get there.

THERE’S SO MUCH MORE!

Having direction in your life will change the way you look at things. It’s the difference between just driving around and driving with purpose. Knowing there’s more than one road to your destination lets you step back and ask yourself, “Am I making good decisions today that keep me pointed in the right direction?” If you aren’t, you make changes. Because life is a journey, not a destination, we created THE BIG PICTURE.

**IT HAPPENS

Intro headline for IT happens section


WHERE DO I START?

When a crisis hits, it’s devastating. There’s no sugar-coating it. You ask yourself, why me? Why now? When it happened to Red, she felt like her whole life was collapsing. Her emotions were all over the place, jumping from fear to anger to sadness, mixed with feeling lost and alone. The more she thought about it, the worse it all seemed.

HERE’S ONE THING …


When something bad happens, we just want it to be a bad dream and wake up to how things used to be. We can’t change the past, but we can change our mindset to focus on what we can control. (Not sure you can? Check out Black’s A Control Freak’s Approach To Crisis Management – an amusing but thought-provoking multiple choice questionnaire.) When we do, we make situations better for ourselves and the people around us, as it gives us the focus and confidence we need to get through it.

THERE’S SO MUCH MORE!

We all react differently. What one person sees as a crisis may not be seen the same way by someone else, but that doesn’t make it any less of a crisis to the person experiencing it. The one constant is needing the confidence in yourself and the support of others (no one should face a crisis alone) to make it through to the other side. We created **IT HAPPENS in the hope it will help you, and the people you care about, get through a crisis.