Ask Red & Black

I gained weight during the pandemic ... none of my clothing fits. Any suggestions?

FULL QUESTION:I gained weight during the pandemic, and now that I'm returning to the office, none of my clothing fits. Any suggestions?


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


I'm not sure that I'm the best person to ask this question as I work from home. However, unlike my sister, who has mastered maintaining her weight, I sympathize with you completely because, like so many people, I've succumbed to putting on weight during the pandemic. My downfall? Comfort food. And although I've always loved that kind of home cooking, what really did me in wasn't what I prepared, but having second servings because it tasted so good.

So, I need to go back to my Weight Watchers days. I never felt like I was on a diet because I could eat anything I wanted, but developed better eating habits, including being aware of portion control and making smarter food choices. That, and kicking up my exercise routine a notch (or two or three) – whether it's morning weights, mid-day walks, and/or late afternoon bike rides.

Well, I guess I really didn't answer your question as to what you should do. But I realize that I've analyzed how I got in a similar situation and what I should do. Now I just need to do it!


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


I am not going to tell Red that she is going through the logical sequence of change, but I will say that once many of us, Red included, understand WHY we are doing something, it is easier to do something about it. Just do not be too hard on yourself. And, be realistic.

Obviously, the pandemic caused isolation and anxiety, which resulted in more eating and less activity. And being able to work from home wearing "comfy" clothes did not help. But you are not alone, which explains why weight management businesses are doing so well. For example, gym memberships are up, and digital subscriptions at WW (what Weight Watchers is now called) are significantly higher from a year ago at this time.

Even if you are not ready to make drastic changes, you can start with small adjustments. Alcohol consumption increased (no surprise there), so maybe substitute low-calorie (or no-calorie) beverages, such as fruit-infused water instead of wine and cocktails. And, keep in mind short "office-friendly exercises" can also be done at home and can make a big difference. (Think: push-ups in a standing position against a kitchen counter or office desk or if you have stairs at home, putting away items immediately instead of accumulating them to minimize trips.)

One final thought … if you have to buy new clothes, keep it to a minimum and make sure they can either be altered easily or inexpensive enough that you do not mind giving them to a charity (such as Dress for Success or CareerGear).


Red assets.rebelmouse.io


Absolutely! Even though I’m not Irish, although growing up, many people thought I was because of my red hair. Regardless, I’ve always looked forward to St. Patrick’s Day and celebrate it the same way I did growing up in New York – with corned beef, cabbage, and potatoes . It was one of my favorite dinners then, and it still is, and my daughters feel the same way. Neither one of them will be home this year, but I’ll still be cooking a big pot of it and savoring the leftovers for days.

Plus, and I’m sure Black will roll her eyes, I “dress up” our 5-foot standing stuffed bear that “lives” in the front hallway in his St. Patrick’s Day outfit. (Throughout the year, the bear’s outfit changes with each “significant” holiday – a family tradition that started when my girls were very young.)


Black assets.rebelmouse.io


Considering Red loves history, I am surprised that she did not mention the history behind St. Patrick’s Day or that St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, was neither Irish nor a Saint. And, given Red's love of bagels, I am shocked she did not mention that our local bagel shop would always make green ones to celebrate the holiday.

How do I celebrate? I have always been a clotheshorse, so it is easy just to wear something green. Growing up, it was not that I was conforming to the tradition of wearing green so leprechauns could not see me; it was because many boys in school looked for any “legitimate” excuse to pinch girls, and I refused to give them that opportunity. Over the years, as I collected Hermes shawls (you can see them in the background in Selfish,Shallow … And Svelte?), I would grab one that had green and call it a day. St. Patrick’s Day.

You don’t have to be Irish to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day – whether with food and drink (does green beer taste different?), wearing green, thoughts of leprechauns and good luck, or just taking a few minutes to enjoy these Irish quotes.


Red assets.rebelmouse.io


Thanks for making me stop and think about this. I realized that on the days that when I’m out and I’m not feeling totally stressed or in a rush to do a million and one things, I find myself engaging in a little more conversation with people or, at the very least, taking that extra moment to connect. It might be someone that needs assistance, or merely the opening of a door. Or, I might make eye contact with someone in the grocery store, and make a passing, but kind, comment. Sometimes they “return” the kindness, but even if it’s just a smile that gets returned – it makes a difference to both of us.

So, having said all that, the reality is regardless how busy we may be, it only takes a moment to show a little kindness. And I’m going to try harder, even when I’m super busy or in a cranky mood (most days fall into one of those categories) to share simple acts of kindness. If nothing else, it just might put me in a better mood. And, ideally, it might get passed on.


Black assets.rebelmouse.io


I always say, “Red is the nice one.” And, by that I mean she always tries to behave in a pleasant or agreeable way, wanting people to like her (although there are days when she has exhausted her quota of “nice”). But, kindness is different. Kindness is doing something that is helpful to others. It can be contagious, and the benefits and ripple effects can be significant. However, instead of quoting research and statistics, I will share this simple, but powerful, video, “ Change The World With Kindness.”

P.S. Need some kindness ideas, click here. Or for some inspiring quotes, click here.


Red assets.rebelmouse.io


I can relate. When my husband got fired, Black made me total up all our credit card debt, and I broke down in tears. The funny thing is that before she’d help me deal with it, she insisted on giving me a history lesson on credit cards. And although I love history, initially, I fought her. But I’m so glad she ignored me! To this day, understanding that the origin of credit cards wasn’t a line of credit but instead a convenience (to be paid in full every month) has made a huge difference.

But that doesn’t answer your question. I think we all know how easy it is to rack up credit card debt, especially during the holidays. A holiday budget would’ve helped, but now you need a monthly budget to see where you can cut back and apply those “savings” to pay down your credit card bills. Without making this a math class (not my favorite subject), I just memorized that after paying the minimums, I should apply any “extra” money to the credit cards with the highest interest rates (APRs). There’s nothing I can do about the past, but I can start making better decisions today.


Black assets.rebelmouse.io


I appreciate that “misery loves company,” and recognizing that we all are susceptible to overspending (Nicholas Cage took it to the extreme) helps explain why in the last year, credit card debt has exploded.

I recently read that HBO star Issa Rae admitted that when she was a college student, she ran up lots of credit card debt, to the point it was “crippling” (her word, not mine). It reminded me of how shortly after getting my M.B.A. (in International Finance, so I had no excuse), I got in debt over my head. To the point where although I was making a great salary in a corporate job, I had to take a second job waitressing on weekends to pay down the debt.

Am I suggesting you get a second job? No. I am suggesting you look at the numbers and then decide how best to “attack” them (maybe even consider debt consolidation to lower the overall interest rate you are paying). Some people suggest paying off the lowest balances first, but that is a psychological approach. As Red will tell you, I am pragmatic and prefer to crunch the numbers, and come up with a realistic plan and set myself up for success.