Words & Banter

Protocols That Protect You From … Black?

Ok, I may get in trouble with Black for writing this post, but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. So, it all started when Black told me that she was having issues with the clock on her computer. I'm old-fashioned and if I want to know the time, look at my wrist watch. When I suggested that she just do the same ...


she tried to explain how it impacted "time stamps" on emails and documents. It was at that point that it became one of those conversations where I just listened politely, as there was no way that I could add a single thing of value as the topic had to do with computers.

A few days later she let me know that some other issues had come up, so she ended up contacting the DELL service desk. (Disclaimer: Although both of us have used DELL computers for as long as I can remember, this isn't an ad for them.) Anyway, she explains how they ran hardware diagnostics remotely, and while I'm thinking that's kind of cool, I'm also thinking that I'm really busy and wondering if there's a point to all of this? (Ok, now I understand how my blah-blah-blah can make people feel.)

Well, I'm only half listening as she tells me how they'll be sending out a technician, but given the pandemic have numerous protocols. I know she loves bullet point lists, so was relieved when she didn't itemize the protocols but merely mentioned that they're designed to protect their technicians. Yes, all makes sense. Got it. Thanks. Can I please get back to work now?

And then I hear Black say, "The technicians want to keep as much distance from me as possible." Well, when I could stop laughing, all I could say was,

Yes, at some point in time, that's how many of us feel about you.

Because as much as I love my sister, she can be, well, someone that at times you definitely want to keep your distance from. Even my daughters know that. But I'm sure we all have someone in our life like that.

Thank you, DELL, who knew your COVID-19 protocols could provide such amusement?!

From back flap of our book, “What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!” Photographer unknown.

Long before we had an ABOUT page, readers met Red not only through the back flap of our bestselling book, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, but because her crisis was the book’s title! But a lot has happened since Black turned her crisis into a book — a brand — a business. Including a lot of growing up.

And Red? Still warm and fuzzy. Just a lot less sheltered.

WHAT WE SAID THEN

When we started working on the book, Red couldn’t find a photo of her and the girls, so they posed for one in the fall of 2004. Later, our book editor captured Red this way:

After getting a degree in Theater Arts, Red moved back in with her parents until she married an outgoing Englishman and followed his career around the globe. Now she lives in Sugar Land, a suburban city on the outskirts of Houston, Texas. Red is a warm and fuzzy mom whose life revolves around her two red-headed girls. With Red, it's all about the feelings.

WHAT WE DIDN’T KNOW THEN …

We knew Red was used to letting others take the lead. We didn’t know that once she took control, she’d discover how much she was capable of.

We knew her life revolved around her two red-headed girls. We didn’t know how much growing up was still ahead — for them and for Red.

We knew Red had learned a lot when her husband got fired. We probably should have known she’d want to use what she learned to help others.

And we described Red as “warm and fuzzy” and “all about the feelings. ”Still true. She’s just learned that sometimes warm and fuzzy isn’t enough.

AND THERE’S A STORY BEHIND THE PHOTO …

What makes this seemingly ordinary photo remarkable? Red’s in front of the camera!

She was almost always the one behind the camera, so when we needed a photo of her for the book, it had to be staged. In fact, she’s not even sure who took the photo.

At the time, it was simply a photo we needed. Looking at it now, it’s more than that. It captured Red in the middle of the life she’d always dreamed about — and when her girls were still young and being their mom was the center of her world.

She knew they would grow up. She just didn’t know how quickly that picture would become a memory.

A lot has changed since that photo was taken. Including Red.

Same family. Very different approaches to life.

Red is warm and fuzzy. Black is pragmatic and sarcastic.

  • Red leads with her heart. Black leads with her head.
  • Red wants to talk it through. Black wants to solve it.
  • Red gives you the context. Black gives you the bottom line.

Which sounds more like you?

Which brings us to one of our favorite examples: When we had to explain the differences between us for the Introduction to What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, Red wrote pages with her usual blah-blah-blah. Black gave the book designer a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet.

Funny thing is that over the years, readers have not only told us which of us they’re more like, but also gone so far as to identify the “Reds” and “Blacks” in their own families. We even had a few who nicknamed themselves (one was “Brown,” another was “Bald”).

So, are you more like Red or Black? Or somewhere in between?


Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


I know everyone’s always trying to find balance in their life. I thought becoming an empty nester would make that easier, but apparently not. The girls may be grown, but being a mom doesn’t end when your children move out. Between them, Red & Black, and my seemingly endless lists of things to do, I still struggle.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


And, as I am a die-hard workaholic who admits to not having a life, you think I have the answer?


Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


Excellent point. Never mind.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


However, I do have some suggestions … although I will preface it with, "Do as I say, not as I do."
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