Words & Banter

Protocols That Protect You From … Black?

Ok, I may get in trouble with Black for writing this post, but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. So, it all started when Black told me that she was having issues with the clock on her computer. I'm old-fashioned and if I want to know the time, look at my wrist watch. When I suggested that she just do the same ...


she tried to explain how it impacted "time stamps" on emails and documents. It was at that point that it became one of those conversations where I just listened politely, as there was no way that I could add a single thing of value as the topic had to do with computers.

A few days later she let me know that some other issues had come up, so she ended up contacting the DELL service desk. (Disclaimer: Although both of us have used DELL computers for as long as I can remember, this isn't an ad for them.) Anyway, she explains how they ran hardware diagnostics remotely, and while I'm thinking that's kind of cool, I'm also thinking that I'm really busy and wondering if there's a point to all of this? (Ok, now I understand how my blah-blah-blah can make people feel.)

Well, I'm only half listening as she tells me how they'll be sending out a technician, but given the pandemic have numerous protocols. I know she loves bullet point lists, so was relieved when she didn't itemize the protocols but merely mentioned that they're designed to protect their technicians. Yes, all makes sense. Got it. Thanks. Can I please get back to work now?

And then I hear Black say, "The technicians want to keep as much distance from me as possible." Well, when I could stop laughing, all I could say was,

Yes, at some point in time, that's how many of us feel about you.

Because as much as I love my sister, she can be, well, someone that at times you definitely want to keep your distance from. Even my daughters know that. But I'm sure we all have someone in our life like that.

Thank you, DELL, who knew your COVID-19 protocols could provide such amusement?!

Black “flipped” Rendering by porcorex on iStock

Before you answer the question, we should warn you that it might be a trick question …


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I know you don’t celebrate holidays, so I’m not going to ask you if you have any plans for Valentine’s Day, but you do know that February’s American Heart Month, right?


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Of course. Which means the American Heart Association’s “Go Red” campaign is in full force. And, they are not talking about you. It is because heart disease is the leading cause of death – for both men and women.


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Don’t you find it ironic that Valentine’s Day – a “fun” holiday about letting people you love and care about know that you’re thinking of them … a holiday filled with Hallmark cards, squishy teddy bears, chocolate hearts – falls in the middle of such a “serious” month-long awareness campaign?
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Photo by OnTheRunPhoto for iStock

When we first ran the post below, Red had never heard of “Dry January” (or “Damp January"), so Black wasn't surprised that she hadn't heard of a new phenomenon (especially with younger people) called "Dry Dating" (aka "Sober Dating"). The idea is to go on dates and see if there's chemistry when both people are fully themselves — no “liquid courage” allowed. And January’s the perfect month to test-drive it ...



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I keep getting emails about where to go for mocktails. I know alcohol-free cocktails, like Virgin Margaritas, have been around for a while, but I’d never heard that term before. Do you think it has to do with New Year’s resolutions?


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It can if any of your resolutions are to loseweight, save money, sleep better. Or, drink less. Psychologically, January is the month when we “reset”, so a UK-based organization, Alcohol Change UK, started DryJanuary, where you abstain from drinking alcohol.


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Perfect timing since many people shop, eat, and drink more than usual over the holidays.


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I know you used to drink a glass of ColdDuck on New Year’s Eve, a tradition going back to our childhood, but that hardly counts as drinking. But, I have always wondered why you rarely drink, but never asked.
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They may not be the most meaningful holidays, but they may be some of the most fun, so we’re rerunning this post. Of course, Red thinks popcorn is nothing to be taken lightly, since it gives her such happiness. But even Black has favorites (scroll to the bottom). What would be yours?


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It’s January, and everyone’s probably tired of reading about New Year’s resolutions.

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Not me. Since I never make them, I never feel the need to read about them.

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Of course, you don’t. So, what should we write about?

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How about that we celebrate some of our favorite things in January?

So many “National Days” in January are fun (we’ve written about them over the years) and remind us of some of our favorite things. (Can you pick which are Red’s favorite holidays and which are Black’s?) And whether or not you make resolutions, it’s always important to have a sense of humor and enjoy the simpler things in life …

Answer: Red’s favorites are Bagels, Popcorn, and Hugging. Black’s are Clean Desk, Bagels, and Backward.