| You know how I like to blah-blah-blah, barely letting anyone get a word in edgewise? |
| Is this a rhetorical question? Or, a trick question? |
| Neither, I leave those to you. And, you know how things happen to us that seem accidental but probably aren’t coincidences? |
| Is there a point to these questions? If so, can you please get to it? |
| As you often tell me, “Patience, grasshopper.” Although I know that’s not your strong suit. Especially not in conversations. Anyway, the other day you sent me a video about stutterers. Well, that same day, I happened to speak to someone who stuttered, and it was just what I needed. |
| The video? Or, the conversation? |
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| The conversation. It happened before you sent the video. As you know, we weren’t sure the buyers of Mom’s house wanted the 22-foot shuffleboard table in the second-floor game room. And since it’s a solid piece of, well, whatever the board’s made of, it’d have to be broken down to get it out of the house since the original homeowners probably brought it in through the windows while the house was still being built. |
| I know the story. But, I am running out of patience with your blah-blah-blah. Can you get to the point? |
| I’ll try, but sometimes the details are important. Anyway, I was pretty stressed about finding someone who could remove the shuffleboard, especially since we only had a few days to pull this off. So, I was excited when I found LoadUp, a company that professionally disposes of your old items, but imagine how I felt when the person who answered the phone stuttered. I was not in a patient mood. |
| Oh, I can only imagine. Normally, you would have been patient and understanding, but getting Mom’s house emptied has been overwhelming and emotional for you. |
| There’s an understatement, but something remarkable happened during that call. I went from being incredibly stressed out to being calm and in a good mood. Because as soon as I heard his stutter, I forced myself to “slow down” and just listen. |
| I will not get into the power of active listening, but by focusing on what he was saying, that was an escape, albeit very brief, from everything going on in your mind. |
| Besides him being highly professional and knowledgeable, he was extremely nice and understood my “disposal” dilemma. I only wish he could’ve seen me as I went from being a woman bouncing off the walls to someone in a much better mood, all because, ironically, of his stutter! |
| I am certain he could hear it in the tone of your voice. Regardless, as the video points out, the problem is not with the person who stutters; it is with the listener. |
| Which makes sense. And even though you commented the video was a great piece and worth the time to watch, I only did so a few days ago. And I agree. But you also mentioned I should remind you to tell me about the Make-A-Wish interviewer who stuttered. |
| It was exactly one week before your conversation with the man who stuttered. I arrived for the building dedication interview and was introduced to the two-man film crew – an interviewer and a camera operator. I noticed that one man stuttered, so I assumed he was the camera operator. Imagine my surprise when I found out I had guessed wrong. |
| I’m sure you were great. You don’t tolerate fools well, but you’re very empathic with people who have genuine issues. |
| Perhaps. But, I also have been known to finish people’s sentences or interrupt them when it is obvious where they are going, and I want the conversation to move along quicker. |
| I think we’ve already established you’re impatient. |
| Point made. But, just as you learned allowing yourself to genuinely listen not only allowed you to connect better with him but also to stop and catch your breath, I realized that allowing the interviewer to ask his questions at his pace allowed me to think about what he was saying and carefully prepare my answer. That it was not a race to the finish. |
| So, does that mean you will start being more patient with me? And become a better listener? |
| Doubtful; however, I wonder if people who stutter do a better job of getting to the point and actually are more succinct speakers. |
| You would … |
| I know everyone’s always trying to find balance in their life. I thought becoming an empty nester would make that easier, but apparently not. The girls may be grown, but being a mom doesn’t end when your children move out. Between them, Red & Black, and my seemingly endless lists of things to do, I still struggle. |
| And, as I am a die-hard workaholic who admits to not having a life, you think I have the answer? |
| Excellent point. Never mind. |
| However, I do have some suggestions … although I will preface it with, "Do as I say, not as I do." |
| At this point, I'll take whatever help I can get. |
| Sometimes you need to make a conscious effort to stay present. And, by that I mean appreciate what is happening now instead of thinking about what is next. Or, reminiscing about the past. |
| That sounds good, but it also sounds overly simplistic, not to mention highly optimistic. And where would I even start? |
| Easy. It really is as simple as 1 – 2 – 3. |
| Nothing's that simple. |
| 1. SLOW down and look around 2. STOP using your gizmo and consider putting it away 3. GO spend time with family or friends, or steal some "alone time" |
| Actually, that does sound simple. Now I just have to remember to SLOW – STOP –GO. |
| Just imagine a traffic light. Plus, it would have the added benefit of every time you see a real traffic light, it will remind you to SLOW –STOP – GO. |
| I should've known there'd be a car or driving analogy in there somewhere. |
| Throttle on ... |