Hope. The Most Powerful Four-Letter Word?!

Photo taken by David Mendel

There's a line towards the end of The Shawshank Redemption, one of my all-time favorite movies, when the character Andy Dufresne, played by Tim Robbins, writes in a letter, "Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things …" And, although the "Red" is not me, for some reason, it has always stayed with me, not only because it comes when the Red character, played by Morgan Freeman, is feeling particularly hopeless, but because it's a simple yet very powerful statement.

So, it didn't surprise me when my youngest daughter and I were at Belmont University in Nashville for freshman orientation a few months ago, and I listened to their new president, Dr. Greg Jones, welcome us with a message of hope. He spoke passionately of the power of hope and imagination, the promise of things being better, even while living in turbulent times, and how opportunity and optimism for a brighter future are always possible.

So, in the poignant setting of an auditorium of students and parents preparing for the next stage of their respective lives, it not only resonated but, well, made me think of Andy Dufresne and how he'd probably agree with Dr. Jones and his vision for Belmont to be a catalyst to "Let Hope Abound."

A week ago, I was back at Belmont, this time to drop off my daughter, and I lingered on for a few extra days (no, I wasn't being a clingy mom as it was her request so we could celebrate her first day of classes which fell on my birthday). And even though I wholeheartedly believed in the words of hope as expressed by both Dr. Jones and the character of Andy, part of me was feeling more like the character of Red. Well, that might be a bit dramatic as I didn't actually feel hopeless, just sad.

It was bittersweet. A commonly used word to describe chocolate that's both bitter and sweet at the same time, it was also the perfect way to explain the situation as I felt both hope for the future yet also sadness. Unsure of how to let the "positive" be the focus of my thoughts. And while I knew that thousands (and thousands) of parents were feeling the same way I was, it didn't seem to make it any better. Until …

The night of my birthday, having said our final goodbyes after dinner, my daughter insisted that I should take a final walk around the campus instead of immediately going back to the hotel. Belmont's a beautiful campus, and I smiled as I passed students having impromptu "jam" sessions on the lawns and in gazebos. I walked past a security guard who was obviously enjoying a conversation with a student. And everywhere I walked, there were "flags" proclaiming "Let Hope Abound."

And as I thought to myself that maybe the walk was my daughter's way of letting me know that all would be good, I hear the ping of a perfectly-timed text from my daughter letting me know she was going to meet me and walk with me to the car.

Yes, Andy Dufresne. Yes, Dr. Jones. You're both so right. Hope's a good thing, maybe the best of things. Not only for my daughter and me as we each start new chapters in our lives … but for all college freshmen and their families. Let hope abound!

hope

Words & Banter

Dry January Has Nothing To Do With Weather. Neither Does Dry Dating.

Photo by OnTheRunPhoto for iStock

When we first ran the post below, Red had never heard of “Dry January” (or “Damp January"), so Black wasn't surprised that she hadn't heard of a new phenomenon (especially with younger people) called "Dry Dating" (aka "Sober Dating"). The idea is to go on dates and see if there's chemistry when both people are fully themselves — no “liquid courage” allowed. And January’s the perfect month to test-drive it ...

red headassets.rebelmouse.io	I keep getting emails about where to go for mocktails. I know alcohol-free cocktails, like Virgin Margaritas, have been around for a while, but I’d never heard that term before. Do you think it has to do with New Year’s resolutions?
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	It can if any of your resolutions are to loseweight, save money, sleep better. Or, drink less. Psychologically, January is the month when we “reset”, so a UK-based organization, Alcohol Change UK, started DryJanuary, where you abstain from drinking alcohol.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Perfect timing since many people shop, eat, and drink more than usual over the holidays.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	I know you used to drink a glass of ColdDuck on New Year’s Eve, a tradition going back to our childhood, but that hardly counts as drinking. But, I have always wondered why you rarely drink, but never asked.

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food and drink

Words & Banter

Seriously ... Can You Name 5 January Holidays?

They may not be the most meaningful holidays, but they may be some of the most fun, so we’re rerunning this post. Of course, Red thinks popcorn is nothing to be taken lightly, since it gives her such happiness. But even Black has favorites (scroll to the bottom). What would be yours?

red headassets.rebelmouse.io	It’s January, and everyone’s probably tired of reading about New Year’s resolutions.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Not me. Since I never make them, I never feel the need to read about them.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Of course, you don’t. So, what should we write about?
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	How about that we celebrate some of our favorite things in January?

So many “National Days” in January are fun (we’ve written about them over the years) and remind us of some of our favorite things. (Can you pick which are Red’s favorite holidays and which are Black’s?) And whether or not you make resolutions, it’s always important to have a sense of humor and enjoy the simpler things in life …

NATIONAL CLEAN YOUR DESK DAY: Resolutions Aside … A Clean Desk? Is That Even Possible???
NATIONAL BAGEL DAY: Not A Trick Question ... Who Doesn’t Love Bagels?
NATIONAL POPCORN DAY: Do People Really “Celebrate” Popcorn? Red Does!
NATIONAL HUGGING DAY: Think Before … Hugging?!
NATIONAL BACKWARD DAY: Celebrating Having Fun … And Success … By Being Backward?

Answer: Red’s favorites are Bagels, Popcorn, and Hugging. Black’s are Clean Desk, Bagels, and Backward.

holidays

Words & Banter

It’s 2026!

May 2026 be the year that everything clicks …

holidays

DON’T MISS A THING

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red headassets.rebelmouse.io	That may be the only thing you haven’t asked me. It isn’t for any moral or health reasons; it’s because, even many decades later, I still have vivid memories of overdoing it at a fraternity dance at college. Although lately, I’ve been drinking more than normal.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	For you, that means more than one drink … a year.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Very funny, but pretty much true. However, after visiting Tennessee Hills Distillery in the fall, I did develop a taste for their flavored rum. So, between the ones I brought home and the bottles of Moscato that Natasha had delivered to me by Drizly as a surprise holiday gift, I’ve had more to drink this holiday season than ever before.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Well, I drank more this year, too. But, that is because, during COVID, I went over a year without a drink. For years, I used to go out to dinner several times a week and would always have a drink or two, but now do not go out as often. Combine that with a lack of dating, and myalcohol consumption is almost non-existent.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	But your condo has a pantry that you converted into a beautiful bar with all those liquor bottles on display. And you’ve collected wine for years.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Yes, it looks enticing, but I do not drink alone. Never have. But, if I did, I would probably need to hide the liquor, or put yellow “caution tape” in front of the bar during Dry January.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	That’s funny, but do you really think that people can go cold turkey for an entire month? That seems like a long time if you’re used to drinking on a regular basis.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Yes. Besides the fact many bars are taking advantage of Dry January to offer customers something new and different versus just alcohol-free versions of traditional cocktails, the demand for nonalcoholic beverages continues to increase as more people prioritize healthier lifestyles. Not to mention, many people now feel less social pressure to drink.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Please don’t start quoting statistics and studies! But don’t you think, come February, everyone will just go back to their “normal” habits?
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Since you do not want me to mention any of the science, or the fact people are already drinking less, I will come at it another way. If once you start Dry January, you experience the health benefits, including more energy, why would you go back to your old habits?
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Because it’s a habit? Sorry, I couldn’t resist. But good points, especially as we all know drinking can lead to health problems. Not to mention the risks of driving under the influence of alcohol. But I’d think there’s still some peer pressure to drink socially.
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	As more people are trying Dry January, or at least are aware of it, the more acceptable it becomes. And, the easier it is to find others to support you. Although sometimes you may need to avoid those people who do not.
red headassets.rebelmouse.io	Well, I’ve seen you drink this month. And you can’t blame it on me! What’s your excuse?
Blackassets.rebelmouse.io	Dry January is not about having a perfect score. It is about reevaluating your relationship with alcohol. And, taking a night off does not mean the end of the effort. It just means it may be a Damp January.