| At the risk of asking you a warm and fuzzy question, have you thought about what you’re most thankful for this Thanksgiving? |
| Yes. |
| I should’ve guessed that you’d take the question literally. Could you expand on that a little, or at least give me a hint? |
| Friends. |
| I should’ve guessed that too since John’s been in the hospital for the past several weeks and is one of your oldest friends. |
| Not sure “oldest” is the kindest way to define it, but he and his wife have been my closest friends for over 35 years. To the point that John calls me his “second wife,” although he’s only been legally married once. |
| That’s funny, but on my recent fall foliage trip, I realized it was so much more than chasing leaves as I experienced the joy and appreciation of visiting a dear friend and her family. And while phone calls, texting, and even FaceTime are great, it’s just not the same as spending time together. |
| I was going to mention that when you first told me you were going to see Sawyer in Nashville and also spend some time at Amy’s in east Tennessee, but figured you already knew that friendships can easily be taken for granted … until something makes you fully appreciate them. |
| That’s so true. Although I prefer to have a small group of friends, and most of mine I’ve known for decades – either from elementary school, college, or my years living in Hong Kong. Unfortunately, though, none of them now live near me. |
| Friends do not require living in the same town, although that is usually how friendships begin. And, while we may not stay in touch as frequently as we want, over time, we see who our true friends are … they are the ones who are always there for us, during good times and bad. And, in my case, are brave enough to point out when they do not agree with me. |
| Very brave. My friends have it easier, but I count on them to give me an honest perspective no matter what, although I prefer when they agree with me. |
| Of course, you do. And, your friends should be thankful you are so easygoing. |
| Well, at the risk of sounding corny, with Thanksgiving just days away, it’s the perfect time to be truly thankful for our dear friends. |
| It reminds me of the photo that Natasha sent us last year when she was celebrating “Friendsgiving” with her friends in England. |
| Besides not realizing it was an actual thing and not Natasha combining the words “friends” and “Thanksgiving,” I was expecting photos of her attempt at making sweet potatoes or other traditional Thanksgiving foods, or maybe a bunch of Brits sitting around the table with the lone American. Not a photo of everyone’s shoes in the entry hallway. |
| I never thought of Thanksgiving as being “all about the shoes”, but that image sums up the true meaning of the holiday. |
| Tell the truth; everything’s always all about the shoes for you. But, given this Thanksgiving will be the first without Mom, the image’s a wonderful reminder of the importance of friends who’ve been there for me this year. And I include you as both family and friend. |
| Once is enough for me. And, as the saying goes, you cannot choose your family but (like shoes) you can choose your friends. So, pick carefully, and then appreciate them. |
After a busy weekend doing all those personal things that pile up during the week, I feel like I need a nap. But ironically, I never think about weekend naps, even though I could “rationalize” them as doing something positive for myself vs. feeling like it’s a “guilty pleasure” (which is how I feel about workday naps).
When I mentioned that to Black, she suggested I reread my post below (I still laugh at one of the places Black has taken power naps). She then added that it was a selfish request as she knows that my work, not to mention my mood, improves from recharging my batteries.
I'm sitting at my computer but I see our big black labradoodle, Moo (imagine calling for her on the street), curled up for a nap in an armchair. I look at her with love but also with more than a touch of envy. Because as much as the stacks of papers on my desk beckon (or is it taunts) me, a nap's what I really want, and probably need.
The reasons why are unimportant but probably familiar to most people. I stayed up later than I planned, then my sleep was interrupted during the night by Moo, a crazy morning filled with unplanned things that delayed what I'd hoped to have accomplished, which meant I was now working at full speed to "catch up" and I felt exhausted. Not to mention, this morning's caffeine had worn off hours ago.
You may be thinking, "You work from home, just stop what you're doing and take a nap." Well, it sounds like good advice except I'd feel guilty doing that, especially during a workday. A nap just seems selfish. Plus, I'm not sure how I'd explain it to Black, although she doesn't sleep normal hours, and does take power naps.
Anyway, a few days later, my eldest daughter sends both my sister and me a photo of her cat, Porsche (yes, like the car), fast asleep in her bed. And while I was busy typing something warm and fuzzy in reply, I saw that Black had already responded,
Some things never change … like a love of naps.
That made me smile, as it was so true of both Natasha (and all college students?) and her cat, and when I mentioned that to Black later that night, she explained that cats are notorious for sleeping up 16 hours a day because they're saving up their energy (remember they're hunters in the wild). Then she reminded me of how our Grandma Betty used to climb onto our kitchen table (no, I'm not kidding) and would take a catnap for 15 minutes. Then she'd jump up from the table, well-rested and ready to take on the world.
Black laughed that she must have inherited that trait (minus the kitchen table part) because she's taken power naps for as long as she can remember. In fact, she'd often take one in her racecar when waiting to go out on track, but even in her corporate days would close her door and take a 10-15 minute afternoon power nap. (She also couldn't resist sending me a Wall Street Journal, You're Going Back to the Office. What Happens to Your Nap Habit?, wishing that management realized the "benefits" of employee naps.) Anyway, the more we talked, the more I realized that naps can be incredibly beneficial, giving your mind and body time to recharge and recover.
All I know is that thanks to a dog, a cat, an unforgettable memory of my grandma, and basically "permission" from my sister, I think that the next time I need a nap, I might actually try to take one. And whether you call it a catnap or a power nap, I figure If it's good enough for Black, it's good enough for me. Maybe you too? (Although someplace you can close a door might be in order …)
| Why does everything have to be such a struggle? Even a simple phone call to a doctor’s office. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m tired or getting older, but I just don’t have the time or the patience for this. |
| Me, neither. |
| Do you mean this conversation? Or are you agreeing with me? Which, although nice, doesn’t make sense, as you don’t even know what happened. |
| I listened to what you said and suspect something that should have been simple became a production. I do not need the specifics to understand the concept. |
| Well, at least you’re listening. Which is part of the problem. |
| OK, now I need more information. |
| I used to think that the phone systems where you call a company and get automated prompts were the worst thing imaginable, as I wanted to speak to a human. Now I’m not so sure. |
| Yes, they can be very time-consuming and frustrating, but there are ways to bypass the system. |
| Thanks, but the problem started once I reached a real person. I don’t think people listen anymore. |
| I agree with that, too. Or, maybe you do not get to the point quickly enough. |
| Fine. A few months ago, I got a bill for my annual physical, and it included an item I shouldn’t have been billed for. But it was during the holiday season, so I got busy with other things. About a month later, I called the office, and after spending quite a bit of time going over everything, I thought it was resolved. |
| Let me guess; it was not. |
| Not even close. I received a letter from a credit collection agency! Which led to having to start all over again with a different person in the doctor’s office. Hopefully, it has been resolved this time, and I’ll get a corrected invoice, not a second letter from the collection agency. |
| You do realize you could have paid the uncontested amount at the start. And, FYI, the collection process is probably another automated system the doctor’s office uses. |
| I was looking for sympathy, not advice, but I should’ve known better. Anyway, the whole thing is ironic. I know that I’m always saying that with everything being automated these days, I want and miss dealing with people. And then it was people that created this problem. |
| Technically, technology and automation caused the problem. But, whoever handles “customer service” should have been able to fix it. This means businesses need employees who are knowledgeable, good communicators, and problem solvers. |
| At the risk of being old-fashioned, is it too much to want them to ask, “Can I help you?” and mean it? |
| “Can” means having the ability. And, is a separate question from “May I help you?” which reflects the desire the help. Both are required. |
| I’ll ignore the English lesson, but that’s what Home Depot does! They hire people who are knowledgeable about the products, and they’re always happy to help. In fact, they’ve often walked me clear across the store to help me find something. I remember trying to buy a new toilet, which somehow became complicated, but the store manager went above and beyond to make everything right. Bottom line, and this may sound crazy, but they take pride in helping customers. |
| That started at the top. It was how the company was built. They wanted to be a big business that offered the expertise and service of a small hardware store. When the chain first started, they stacked empty boxes on high shelves to give the illusion of being bigger than they were, but provided training for their employees to make sure they could help customers with most home repairs or improvements. |
| Impressive, but it must be expensive to train everyone. |
| It is an investment. And, reflects priorities. But, not all jobs require that level of training. It is about mindset and perspective. Each employee that interacts with a customer has the power to make the experience a good one or a bad one. Customer service should be more than a stand-alone department. |
| I remember when we were “teaching” at KIPP Houston High School, and you explained to the seniors that taking pride in how you do your job, regardless of what it is, doesn’t “cost” anything and doesn’t require special training. And is a great way to stand out in today’s workforce. |
| When I was in corporate, I told my employees the same thing. |
| Do you remember when you interrupted the manager’s meeting at the table next to ours at Pappadeaux’s Seafood Kitchen to say that same thing? I bet that was the last thing they expected to hear from a customer. |
| I could not help myself. Although it had been years – no, make that decades – since I worked at the Strawberry Patch, one of the Pappas’ first restaurants, I still remember the manager, Steve Sims, explaining that the hostess is the first employee the customer would meet and that they set the tone for either a great start or a bad experience. Each person, no matter what their job, is an important member of the team. It has stuck with me all these years. |
| What a powerful but simple lesson. However, I have a hard time picturing you working in a restaurant. |
| You would have an even tougher time if you saw the uniform I had to wear. Luckily, there are no pictures. |
| Are you sure? Maybe I should call their customer service. |
| Maybe you should not … |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
If you asked each of us our favorite childhood book, Red would draw a blank, while Black would quickly reply, “The Little Engine That Could,” and then start repeating, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.” But if you asked about our memory of the first book we read on our own, we might not remember the title, but it would be a Dr. Seuss book. And even though we both love to read, that would probably be the last time we agreed on what to read (see Red's original post below). Red prefers to read for enjoyment and escape (she’ll read online articles as “brain breaks” during the workday), while Black always seems to be “researching” something … and recently sent Red an article listing the benefits of reading because, in addition to our love of reading, we both love lists!
I LOVE to read, but I admit I have some quirks (although they seem normal to me). My favorite topics are biographies and history, but I'll make an exception for fiction that's historical or biographically "inspired". Nothing unusual there. And it has to be a good, old-fashioned, hardcover book. Unless it's just not available and then I'll "settle" for a paperback. (The thought of reading an e-book has never seriously crossed my mind.) Now, let's move on to the reading process … each page must be turned while keeping it absolutely pristine, so much so that when I finish a book, the spine's still perfect and you'd think that no one even opened the book, let alone read it. (I even did this with textbooks in college!) Why am I like this? No clue, but I am what I am.
Anyway, before I had children (when my "job" was being a corporate wife to an executive who lived around the world), I read a LOT of books, as in hundreds over the years. But once I had children, that number dropped dramatically to the point where I was lucky if I could find the time to read half a dozen books – not counting children's books. And after my sister and I began Red & Black, I've probably averaged a book a year. (Although I read and re-read the manuscript for our book countless times before going to press.)
So here I sit at my computer, writing this. I look up at my workroom bookshelves and see plenty of books that I've collected over the last years as a reminder that one day I'll get back to my beloved books. For now, I always have plenty of newspapers (they tend to accumulate over the week), magazines, and online articles to keep me busy as "brain breaks" during the workday or for the few minutes I can still keep my eyes open when I go to bed at night.
And I can't help but think about how different my sister, Black, is from me in so many ways – Including reading. For me, it's something that I love to do as it provides enjoyment and an escape, whereas she does it, in true Black fashion, to research and learn more about any given topic. (I can only imagine the business and non-fiction books on her bookshelves, although her contemporary décor has them hidden behind doors.)
So, what inspired me to even think about this in the first place? Last Friday morning she sent me an "empty email" – there was nothing but an attachment. And when I opened it, I laughed. Because, well, it just said it all. While also reminding me of my love of reading. And this takes us back full circle, not only to the image of this post but to the beginning of this post.