Words & Banter

Dads In School – Delivering Tough Love & Bad Jokes

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Dads help curb violence at Louisiana high school
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I keep thinking about that Twitter link you sent me about the group of dads who came together after violence in their local high school got completely out of hand, and now work in shifts to greet students in the morning and help create a positive environment for learning.


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I thought you would appreciate it. I think it is brilliant – so simple, yet so powerful.


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As a warm and fuzzy single mom, I was overwhelmed by it. Kids who might act “fearless” to their peers, and even to some adults, often behave differently around their parents. Especially fathers and father figures.


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You were always the obedient one, but Mom’s attempts at disciplining and lecturing me fell on deaf ears. But, it was very different with Daddy. All he had to say was that he was disappointed in me and thought I knew better. Or, give me that look of disappointment.


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I never knew he’d give you a “look”, but I laughed out loud when one of the students said, "You ever heard of 'a look’?" when talking about the “power" that most dads have. It reminded me of YOUR “look” – the one that none of us want to be on the receiving end of.


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Well, it sounds like the students at Southwood High School in Shreveport, Louisiana, do not want to be on the receiving side of a “look” either as ever since the “Dad’s on Duty” arrived there have been no more incidents of violence. Although there has been a steady supply of “Dad Jokes”.


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You can’t help but smile and roll your eyes at those. But it’s heartwarming how these dads came together not only for their own kids, but all the kids in the high school. It made me think how wonderful it would be if all high schools could have this.


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Funny you say that. Ever since the initial story went viral, the organization’s founders have been approached by people all across the country who want to duplicate the success.


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Imagine, if in addition to PTAs at schools, you also had “Dads on Duty”. How awesome would that be?


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Very. There is a great op-ed piece written by a former PTA and PTSA president that addresses just that, and how seeing parents on school campuses provides a sense of family and a sense of security, something that has somehow gotten lost.


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That all makes sense. Not to mention, it will give the “Dads on Duty” a wider audience for their jokes.


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Jokes that only dads can do …
parenting
Words & Banter

Red Then. Red Now.

From back flap of our book, “What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!” Photographer unknown.

Long before we had an ABOUT page, readers met Red not only through the back flap of our bestselling book, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, but because her crisis was the book’s title! But a lot has happened since Black turned her crisis into a book — a brand — a business. Including a lot of growing up.

And Red? Still warm and fuzzy. Just a lot less sheltered.

WHAT WE SAID THEN

When we started working on the book, Red couldn’t find a photo of her and the girls, so they posed for one in the fall of 2004. Later, our book editor captured Red this way:

After getting a degree in Theater Arts, Red moved back in with her parents until she married an outgoing Englishman and followed his career around the globe. Now she lives in Sugar Land, a suburban city on the outskirts of Houston, Texas. Red is a warm and fuzzy mom whose life revolves around her two red-headed girls. With Red, it's all about the feelings.

WHAT WE DIDN’T KNOW THEN …

We knew Red was used to letting others take the lead. We didn’t know that once she took control, she’d discover how much she was capable of.

We knew her life revolved around her two red-headed girls. We didn’t know how much growing up was still ahead — for them and for Red.

We knew Red had learned a lot when her husband got fired. We probably should have known she’d want to use what she learned to help others.

And we described Red as “warm and fuzzy” and “all about the feelings. ”Still true. She’s just learned that sometimes warm and fuzzy isn’t enough.

AND THERE’S A STORY BEHIND THE PHOTO …

What makes this seemingly ordinary photo remarkable? Red’s in front of the camera!

She was almost always the one behind the camera, so when we needed a photo of her for the book, it had to be staged. In fact, she’s not even sure who took the photo.

At the time, it was simply a photo we needed. Looking at it now, it’s more than that. It captured Red in the middle of the life she’d always dreamed about — and when her girls were still young and being their mom was the center of her world.

She knew they would grow up. She just didn’t know how quickly that picture would become a memory.

A lot has changed since that photo was taken. Including Red.

Red & Black
Words & Banter

Comparing Red & Black

Same family. Very different approaches to life.

Red is warm and fuzzy. Black is pragmatic and sarcastic.

  • Red leads with her heart. Black leads with her head.
  • Red wants to talk it through. Black wants to solve it.
  • Red gives you the context. Black gives you the bottom line.

Which sounds more like you?

Which brings us to one of our favorite examples: When we had to explain the differences between us for the Introduction to What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, Red wrote pages with her usual blah-blah-blah. Black gave the book designer a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet.

Funny thing is that over the years, readers have not only told us which of us they’re more like, but also gone so far as to identify the “Reds” and “Blacks” in their own families. We even had a few who nicknamed themselves (one was “Brown,” another was “Bald”).

So, are you more like Red or Black? Or somewhere in between?

comparing sisters
Words & Banter

Finding Balance … With A Traffic Light?


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I know everyone’s always trying to find balance in their life. I thought becoming an empty nester would make that easier, but apparently not. The girls may be grown, but being a mom doesn’t end when your children move out. Between them, Red & Black, and my seemingly endless lists of things to do, I still struggle.


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And, as I am a die-hard workaholic who admits to not having a life, you think I have the answer?


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Excellent point. Never mind.


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However, I do have some suggestions … although I will preface it with, "Do as I say, not as I do."
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finding balance