Words & Banter

Drivers Are Driving Me Crazy


Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io


What's with everyone on the roads? No one's paying attention! I made "excuses" for everyone during the holiday season, but that's now over. To be honest, it seems like ever since the coronavirus started; people have forgotten how to drive.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


So, why did you make excuses for them during the holidays, but not now?


Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io


Because during the holidays everyone's preoccupied with, well, the holidays. And everything that entails. That's why I call it the "silly season."


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


So, you do not think the pandemic has caused people to be distracted?


Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io


Of course, it has. But you'd think they could focus on driving when they're driving.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


So, before the pandemic, did people focus on driving? Or, did they multi-task? Were they also talking on their phones, texting, or some other non-driving activity? My personal favorite is always grooming – whether shaving or putting on mascara while driving.


Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io


Luckily, I've never seen that but you can tell when someone's doing something else as they keep glancing away from the road. And I always find that alarming. It's an accident waiting to happen. I'm surprised there aren't more fender benders.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Oh, there are plenty. I have had two different people run into the back of my G-wagen.


Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io


I didn't know that! But that vehicle's huge and formidable, so it's not like they can claim they didn't see you. Forget the car, I can only imagine the wrath they faced dealing with you.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Only the first time. I was driving near the Texas Medical Center and a woman ran into the back of my G-wagen. Luckily, it was more of a rolling stop than a hard hit. I got out of my car ready to read her the riot act, but before I could say anything she broke down into tears. In between sobs, she explained that she had just left the hospital and her husband was seriously ill.


Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io


That's awful. What did you do?


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


I was more concerned about whether she was able to drive than the minimal damage to each of our cars, so spent a few minutes talking with her. The point is sometimes people are preoccupied for legitimate reasons … and we have to cut them some slack.


Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io


Absolutely. And what about the second fender bender?


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


I had already learned my lesson, so got out of the car and calmly asked him what happened. It was a beautiful day, yet he claimed that he did not see me.


Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io


Well, that wasn't the right answer!


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


No kidding. But, since I was starting from a place of calm, I laughed and said, "How could you miss me? Oh, never mind, that was obviously a rhetoric question." And then, traded insurance information.


Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io


Little did that man know how easily he got off. And I'm not talking about the damage to his car …
Photo by mevans on iStock
Since we first ran the conversation below, autism awareness has become more commonplace, but there’s a big difference between that and acceptance. (Which is why April is now Autism ACCEPTANCE Month.) Not to mention assumptions. Labels aside, don’t we all have something of value to contribute? Think about your different abilities (Black calls them “diff-abilities”), and you may find a new way to look at others, especially those with autism -- with respect, empathy, and a desire to better understand their situations, strengths, and challenges.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness "to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


I think you mean DIFF-abilities.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io


Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings?
Keep Reading ...Show less
Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Ye Jinghan on Unsplash

We’ve all wanted a “second chance” at some point in our lives. A “do-over” for a mistake we made, a bad decision, or something that didn’t work out well. An opportunity to show (to ourselves and to others) that we learned our lesson.

Now imagine that second chance being life-changing. For many people who’ve found themselves on the wrong side of the law, a second chance might be all they need to turn their lives around. Which is why April was designated Second Chance Month and why we’re rerunning what changed Red’s perspective on second chances …



red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

I had no idea that April was “Second Chance Month” until you sent me the official proclamation. I find it interesting that in the midst of juggling our usual million and one Red & Black things, your interest in criminal justice, which I know you consider a “passion project”, is as strong as ever, maybe even stronger.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

It is not intentional, sometimes “ passion projects” find you. And, when you least expect it.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Or where you least expect it! Only you would take a “field trip” to a men’s prison.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

I will not get on my soapbox about how our education system contributes to the criminal justice problem. I will never forget a friend of mine who was formerly incarcerated telling me, “Rehabilitating people makes the assumption they were habilitated in the first place.”


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

When you stop and think about that statement, it’s pretty powerful! But I have to smile as once upon a time you, and I, used words like “offenders” and “prisoners” until we learned how our choice of words could be dehumanizing .


Black assets.rebelmouse.io

Says the woman who once believed in the idea of “lock ’em up and throw away the key”.
Keep Reading ...Show less
Image by filipefrazao on iStock

When you think of cancer, do you think that’s something only older people need to worry about?

Well, you’d be wrong because it’s alarming how many people under 50 are getting cancer. (Think Catherine, Princess of Wales.) And while the exact causes remain under investigation, what we do know is that early detection through cancer screenings is crucial.

It should be a priority for all of us (men and women) – and not only during Cancer Prevention Month but year-round.



red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

I know that cancer isn’t the “death sentence” it used to be when we were growing up, but it’s still a very scary word. Especially if it’s heard “close to home”.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

When we were young, the word was rarely said. And if it was, it was whispered or referred to as the “ c-word.”


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Kind of like when I had my two miscarriages. No one wanted even to acknowledge, let alone talk about, them. Which made it all the more difficult to get through it, although intellectually, I knew it was not uncommon.


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io

Unfortunately, neither is cancer. It is the second-leading cause of death in the world, surpassed only by heart disease. But, at least, it is no longer a taboo subject.


red headred head assets.rebelmouse.io

Please don’t make this about numbers. It’s about people. Which you should know. I’m sure you remember when Daddy was diagnosed with parotid gland cancer , which luckily was treatable. And I’ve had skin cancer, although I was very fortunate, it was caught early and easily treated.
Keep Reading ...Show less