| Well, Prince Charles is now officially King Charles III, and it should be very interesting to see how his reign will be vs. the decades of speculating. |
| Technically, the moment Queen Elizabeth II died, he automatically became King. Regardless, he has been preparing for the role his entire life. |
| Yes, but there’s something about the pomp and pageantry of a coronation that makes it seem like it’s the beginning of his reign. Not to mention, it’s a rare event as the last one in England was his mother’s in 1952. |
| The rarity is a monarch ruling for 70 years. Obviously, the next coronation will be in much less than 70 years. If there even is one. |
red head
assets.rebelmouse.io
Black
assets.rebelmouse.io
| I know after Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s interview with Oprah, there was talk about how the Monarchy should end with Queen Elizabeth. But the idea wasn’t anything new as I remember there was talk of that when I lived in England decades ago. |
| I can understand why people are questioning whether the Monarchy, with its “old-fashioned” traditions and beliefs, is still relevant. And, having apparent “issues” in terms of race relations certainly does not help. |
| Are you referring to the story about someone wondering what color Prince Harry and Meghan’s unborn baby would be? Or, more recently, when one of Queen Elizabeth’s long-time ladies in waiting, Lady Susan Hussey, made an embarrassing social gaffe when asking a Black director of a charity where she was “really” from. |
| Neither specifically, but both in general. The “old guard” comes from a generation that grew up when overt racism was more accepted and institutionalized, and probably internalized those attitudes. |
| True. Plus, the Royal Family, or The Firm, which is how the family and institution refers to itself, is very isolated from the real world, so has less exposure to people from different racial and ethnic backgrounds. |
| That is not surprising, but who nicknames themselves? The Firm sounds like a Netflix series, but less refined than “The Crown.” |
| “The Firm” is one of my favorite Tom Cruise movies and is based on the John Grisham novel of the same name. But it has nothing to do with British history. Anyway, as you know, I love Tudor history. However, I’m not an expert on the British Monarchy or the current Royal Family, although I think they serve an important purpose. |
| They do when it comes to money. It is a business with over a thousand people working for it, which may explain the nickname. I remember reading a Forbes article that stated the amount of money they bring in (primarily due to tourism) is estimated to contribute $2.7 billion a year to the U.K. economy (pre-pandemic), making the $550 million cost of running it a wise investment. |
| Wow! Those are huge numbers, but I was referring to the invaluable role the Royal Family played in getting a nation to pull together, and stay together, as they fought not one, but two, World Wars. |
| But, that was a long time ago. How is that relevant today? |
| Sometimes the mere existence of a well-established institution, and its pomp and circumstance, can remind people that they’re a part of something bigger than themselves. That there’s a history that binds you. In this case, as a country. Don’t believe me? Look at the outpouring of grief when Queen Elizabeth II died. The British people put their differences aside and came together in their praise that she was more than a queen; she was a symbol of her country. |
| Yes, but that was a reflection of her 70 years of representing the country. They were honoring the past, which is very different from supporting the Monarchy’s future. Especially given all the drama within the Royal Family, not only going back to Princess Diana, but in terms of Prince Harry and Meghan, and the scandals around King Charles’ brother, Prince Andrew. |
| There have always been royal “scandals” or less-than-acceptable behavior. But it does seem worse today. |
| Is it worse? Or, is it because it was much easier to do damage control before the internet and social media? Regardless, the Monarch was always looked upon as a role model and was supposed to represent values worth emulating – love of country, public service, respect, integrity, grace, discretion, tradition … |
| That’s certainly what Queen Elizabeth II represented. And even King Charles’ sister, Princess Anne, who’s one of the hardest working royals although not given nearly enough recognition. |
| It is not an easy job, and not one you choose … you are born into it. Obviously, some people are better suited for the role. Or, do a better job preparing. King Charles, the oldest individual to ascend to the throne, has had plenty of time to think about how to honor something as old and established as the Monarchy while still making it relevant in today’s world. |
| Well, he has been at the forefront of so many important issues, whether climate change, the environment, conservationism, that used to be considered quirky,but are now mainstream and recognized as critical issues. |
| He does have a unique background, and a history of strong opinions, which may make one of his greatest challenges finding the balance between being head of state, where he is required to remain neutral on political matters, and still addressing the important issues facing society. |
| Given the situation with Prince Harry and Meghan, I’ll be curious how he may shine a much-needed light on mental health and racism. Regardless, he definitely has his royal plate full, and I wish him all the best |
| Agree. And, it will be interesting to see what happens to The Firm now that it is under new management. |
Want to read other columns? Here's a list.
Since we first ran the conversation below, autism awareness has become more commonplace, but there’s a big difference between that and acceptance. (Which is why April is now Autism ACCEPTANCE Month.) Not to mention assumptions. Labels aside, don’t we all have something of value to contribute? Think about your different abilities (Black calls them “diff-abilities”), and you may find a new way to look at others, especially those with autism -- with respect, empathy, and a desire to better understand their situations, strengths, and challenges.
| Did you know that April's Autism Awareness Month? I wasn't aware (pun intended) of it until I read our local homeowner's monthly newsletter and it caught my eye. |
| Actually, last month the founding organization, the Autism Society, changed "Awareness "to "Acceptance" to foster inclusivity, as knowing about something is very different from accepting it. But I am guessing that is not the point of this call. |
| Although it isn't autism, it reminded me of years ago when we found out that Natasha has learning disabilities. |
| I think you mean DIFF-abilities. |
| Of course, that's another thing I remember. I was focused on the negative aspects of her diagnosis until you asked me, point-blank, "Why are they called disabilities?" And proceeded to explain that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. |
| Exactly! Imagine the world if everyone excelled at math, but flunked English. Or, a world of lawyers, but no musicians. Some people are better at social skills, while others excel at handling technical data. Why not just say that people who have different skillsets and abilities have DIFF-abilities versus making them feel like they have shortcomings? |
| I know that you completely changed my way of thinking, not only about Natasha but about the concept of "disabilities" full stop. It opened my eyes – and my brain – about how just because someone has challenges or limited abilities in some areas, that doesn't mean they don't have different gifts and strengths in other areas. |
| Exactly. Although autism is a "spectrum condition" meaning it affects people differently and to varying degrees, it is a complex developmental disorder that can affect a person's social skills, and ability to communicate and interact with others. However, autistic people usually possess some extremely valuable traits that are rare in non-autistic people. |
| Which is why it frustrates me that so many people feel like those with disabilities, excuse me DIFF-abilities, are "lesser" people. When Natasha was diagnosed, she was in her teens and already had a very strong personality (no doubt inherited from you) and, luckily, seemed to have an innate understanding that she was just different, not better, not worse, than others. I guess one of the biggest challenges is to get others to see things with the same mindset. |
| We are a story-telling society, and there are countless stories of people with DIFF-abilities, including those with autism, that are eye-opening and more powerful than anything we could ever say. |
| Funny you say that, as I was curious to learn more about autism and found some inspiring quotes (including a wonderful Tom Hanks clip) that not only gave me great insight but made me smile. One of my favorites was how Paul Collins, an author and parent of an autistic child, said, "Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg." That's such a great way to describe not only those with autism but any disability. |
| Well, technically, it will fit, but it requires that the diameter of the circle be larger than the diagonal of the square. Basic geometry. But, I understand Paul Collin's point. |
| Talk about DIFF-abilities! Couldn't you just agree with me? |
| The thought never crossed my mind. |
Design by Sawyer Pennington, Underlying photo by Ye Jinghan on Unsplash
We’ve all wanted a “second chance” at some point in our lives. A “do-over” for a mistake we made, a bad decision, or something that didn’t work out well. An opportunity to show (to ourselves and to others) that we learned our lesson.
Now imagine that second chance being life-changing. For many people who’ve found themselves on the wrong side of the law, a second chance might be all they need to turn their lives around. Which is why April was designated Second Chance Month and why we’re rerunning what changed Red’s perspective on second chances …
| I had no idea that April was “Second Chance Month” until you sent me the official proclamation. I find it interesting that in the midst of juggling our usual million and one Red & Black things, your interest in criminal justice, which I know you consider a “passion project”, is as strong as ever, maybe even stronger. |
| It is not intentional, sometimes “ passion projects” find you. And, when you least expect it. |
| Or where you least expect it! Only you would take a “field trip” to a men’s prison. |
| I will not get on my soapbox about how our education system contributes to the criminal justice problem. I will never forget a friend of mine who was formerly incarcerated telling me, “Rehabilitating people makes the assumption they were habilitated in the first place.” |
| When you stop and think about that statement, it’s pretty powerful! But I have to smile as once upon a time you, and I, used words like “offenders” and “prisoners” until we learned how our choice of words could be dehumanizing . |
| Says the woman who once believed in the idea of “lock ’em up and throw away the key”. |
Black
assets.rebelmouse.io
| That was before! I know you told me that just because someone made a bad decision, it didn’t make them a bad person, but it sounded like a cliche. Now, my opinion is based on our experience and the impact we’ve seen . The feedback has been eye-opening. Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with “do-overs.” |
| Exactly. None of us are perfect. We have all made bad decisions. Second chances are about opportunities to show we have learned from our mistakes. |
| Well, I know I have. Obviously, not anything illegal. But it made me determined to teach my daughters what I had learned. Probably one of the most heartwarming parts of the feedback we’ve received is that so many people on the inside want better – not only for themselves, but for their children and grandchildren. |
| Yes, which is why having a second chance is so critical. And, helping set people up for success, not failure, because it is about more than changing the lives of the formerly incarcerated -- it can change the lives of their families and, in turn, our communities and our country. |
| A ripple effect that could mean more people may get it right the first time and not need a second chance. |
| True. Maybe we should look at it as giving society a second chance … |
Maybe Skin Cancer Advice, But Don’t Expect A Compliment From A Sarcastic Sister
I'll never forget the day. It was an "almost" ordinary day out on the golf course with my mom and dad during the heat of a Long Island summer. Now, if "Long Island" conjures up images of stately manors on the North Shore (think "Great Gatsby") or beachfront mansions in the Hamptons (think Robin Leach and his popular show "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"), you can put those out of your head. I'm not talking about some fancy country club golf course, just a regular public course.
I loved the game ever since I learned to play as a teenager, and although I never got to play while at college (Wake Forest, which was renowned for its golf program, with its most famous alumni being Arnold Palmer), I'd try to get out as often as possible when I was home. I wasn't a phenomenal player but had a decent game and natural talent. And most of the time, I hit it pretty straight, so one of the things I enjoyed was walking down the middle of the fairway, pulling my clubs along (no fancy golf carts on this course), appreciating the day and the sport.
On one (very rare) occasion, my sister came back to New York to visit, as she moved out of state as soon as she graduated from business school. She also played golf, but unlike me, who relied on natural ability and played for fun, she worked extremely hard at her game, was overly competitive, and played "business golf". The result was that she was a far better player than me, although I was holding my own on that day.
As Black often says, the scorecard contains only numbers, no editorial. And it would ultimately show that she'd beat me, but as we were each walking up one of the last holes toward our respective balls, in the heat of a late summer afternoon, with the sun at our backs, I was secretly hoping that she'd be proud of me. So, after I hit my fairway shot onto the green, I heard her call out to me, and my hopes were high,
I wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry, or be angry. Or to just roll my eyes as it really was something only my sister would say. And to this day, I'm not even sure if she had even noticed how close I came to beating her and how well I played – "upping" my game driven by her much better game.
But I also know that I can never look down at my very pale legs without laughing just a little at how a lifetime ago (or so it seems), she was so right. Recently, when she treated me to my first pair of Birkenstocks, I stood in the store trying them on, and before she had a chance to say it I told her … Yes, I do look like I have on white hose.
P. S. – I feel it only fair (pun intended) to have a P.S. for a P.S.A. – Long ago, the harm of the summer sun wasn't as well known, but in the years since, we've learned how important sunblock is. Year-round. So, whether you're a redhead who never tans (I used to cycle between being extremely pale and burning red and back again) or someone who does tan, take care of your skin!