Does anyone else find it strange that a study was done by China based on U.K. data … but it wasn’t about tea (which would’ve been logical), but coffee?

BANTER BITE BACKSTORY: Red was so excited when she heard from Black that drinking coffee, even with sugar, could lead to a longer life; while Black sent it to her because it highlighted how you can find “opposing studies” – one that says it’s good for you while another says it’s bad.

But all Red cared about was that the study showed that you didn’t need to drink your coffee black to get the health benefits because she’s known to “play mad scientist” (her words, not Black’s) with her coffee, doctoring it to the point where she’s drinking a little bit of coffee with her milk and sugar. (Well, technically, artificial sweetener.)Which made her wonder,

Maybe I’m not drinking enough coffee to get the full benefit! I guess that’s a perfect excuse to go to Dunkin’ more often. Totally for health reasons, of course.

Black started to ask about her financial health and how much she spends at Dunkin’, but realized that her Dunkin’ visits were about more than coffee (and the occasional Boston Kreme donut). They’re short escapes, and much quicker and cheaper than Red’s escape to the movies.

Regardless, she initially sent the article, not to “prove” coffee was good (or bad) for you, or to discuss the cause-and-effect considerations, but to show how studies can be used to “support” different positions based on how you crunch the numbers and “explain” your findings.

For Black, it was a flashback to her corporate life, which included “analyzing” numbers, and how she loved to tell management,

I know you want me to analyze the situation so you can present data to support your position, but it would make my life much easier if you told me the point you were trying to “prove” before I start running detailed analysis.

Red knows the benefits of coffee will be debated for years, yet she was content to believe coffee was good for you. Black said a similar thing happened with drinking alcohol, and she was taking the position red wine (in moderation) was good for you. But we’ve both decided,

Maybe studies are bad for your health.