Design by Sawyer Pennington
| I am not sure I have any words of wisdom, as I am constantly reading online. Typically, it is either to research a specific topic or keep up with what is trending to make sure we keep our posts current and relevant. I have a handful of online news and business resources that send me daily newsletters (although I still read the print version of The Wall Street Journal and the few magazines I read for pleasure), but have the self-discipline to ignore even the most enticing article titles if the topic is not relevant. Sometimes it requires speed-reading the opening paragraph or two, but if it is not worth my time, I can stop. I am one of those people who can start reading a book (or watching a movie) and decide there is no point in continuing. Years ago, I probably would have kept going hoping it would get better … but came to realize it rarely did and that my time was too important to waste. |
| There's no way I'm as disciplined as Black, but I've learned
to earmark time during the day to read whatever strikes my fancy. No excuses necessary. I just label that time as "brain breaks" as
it's a great escape from whatever I'm working on. Plus, I tend to skim vs. reading an entire
article. But if I come across something
that I want to read in its entirety, I'll print it out and save it for
either the evening or over the weekend. (When I used to chauffeur my daughter to volleyball practice, I was able
to get through lots of these articles.) But here's one thing that really seems to help – I subscribed to a few select newsletters (such Vanity Fair, The New York Times, and Texas Monthly) and when I want to take a break, I'll skim through the headlines on those vs. surfing the internet. That way I'm not tempted to read a bunch of things just because those magical algorithms make them pop up on my screen. And if something interests me, I can either read it then or save it for when I take a lunch break (well, really a quick bowl of cereal) or at night when I'll go back and have a look. The reality is that by the time I do that, and keep in mind at night I'm tired, so trying to get off the computer, not spend more time on it, most of the emails are either old news or things that now don't seem worth my time. So, I often just delete many of those emails! |
FULL QUESTION: My teenager's a slob and it's driving me crazy — their messy room, leaving dirty dishes all around the house, and the bathroom looking like a disaster area! And now they're home for the summer. Help!
| Moms everywhere know exactly what you're talking about! And although people told me not to worry, this phase would pass, that didn't make it any better while I was in the midst of it. (I wish I had understood why teenagers have messy rooms and what I could have done to manage it better.) The good news was I was able to set expectations (and help maintain them) for the common areas of the house, but dealing with their rooms was very different. Especially with my eldest daughter, since nothing would work — not bribes, not threats, not rational conversations. I tried all the tips and "tricks" without success and eventually decided to stop nagging her because all it did was get me upset while she seemed perfectly content with the mess. At that point, I realized my primary concern was that I'd ultimately need an exterminator and/or plumber (for those of you who have lived through this, you understand), so I'd periodically go in and selectively clean that which would create problems for the rest of us. The rest I left alone. Hey, if she wanted to wear smelly clothing or have a bathroom that should be declared a national emergency zone, so be it. |
| I do not have children, but there was a time when I did have stepdaughters, and, not knowing what else to do, I decided to treat them like I would new employees. I knew employees basically wanted to please management, so I figured kids wanted to please their parents, and hopefully, stepparents. I created a "Rules of the House" document (small, basic, easy things), and most of them were things to do versus things not to do. I presented the rules as an opportunity for them to achieve and succeed, not as a set of restrictions. I always found it more effective with employees, and then with the girls (and even their father), to reinforce positive behavior rather than punish bad behavior. It can be as simple as a "thank you," complimenting them on their efforts, or even rewarding a job well done. It seemed to work, and along the way, improved communications and helped us set priorities. |
Design by Sawyer Pennington
| Are you kidding?! I'm a cookie-baking carpool mom, and although we had just published a book based on my "crisis", we didn't even think of ourselves as authors. (My sister saved our emails and Instant Messages, and has never told me if she taped our phone conversations!) And the book was supposed to be the basis of a sitcom! We had literally done one speaking engagement and now were being asked to get in front of classrooms full of high school seniors for a semester-long course. During their LAST semester! Surprised? "Shocked" might be a better word. Or, maybe "panicked." |
| My immediate reaction was, "Sure, not a problem." Then, while Red was busy panicking, I focused on how to get it done. The request was in keeping with KIPP's approach to looking for non-traditional methods of educating students, so they agreed when I asked for a task force of students to help us develop the program. (I knew it had to be relevant or there was no point in doing it.) And, it was the students who suggested we use our book as a textbook, calling it a "reality show in a book" … which, at least, validated my idea that the book could be the basis of a sitcom. |
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