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Red and Black In Prison

Are you interested in the welfare of offenders? Would you visit a prison? Red admits that she answered both questions with an emphatic, "No!" So, what changed her mind? And how did we end up in the criminal justice world? For a quick overview, read our February 2013 column, "Red & Black … Are In Prison?" (Oh, and the question Black said she would one day ask … well, she has been asking it more and more these days.)

"Red" versus "Black" Perspectives:

  • RED (the warm & fuzzy stay-at-home mom): "When we first started on our journey into the prison world, my thought was that these men are criminals and our time should be spent on people in the "free world". And there was certainly no way I would ever visit a prison. However, after watching 11+ hours of raw video footage of the men who voluntarily participated in the pilot program at Stringfellow Unit, they went from being offenders known by their prison identification numbers to people, each with their own stories. Men who wanted better – not only for themselves, but for their children and grandchildren. And, as a mom, I saw hope and opportunity to change not only their lives, but their families. Furthermore, after I watched the last interview, I turned to my sister and told her that I was contacting the chaplain in the morning to arrange for us to meet the men. I wanted to tell them in person how much their words affected me and my outlook on offenders."
  • BLACK (the pragmatic retired business executive): "I appreciate that there may be moral and/or social reasons to help those within the criminal justice system, but put that aside for the moment. The cost of Texas state prisons is approximately $60 a day/person. At $25 per person, our book/program costs less than half a day in prison. In terms of recidivism, if you merely delay their return one day, you have over a 100% ROI (Return on Investment). Anything over that is just gravy. So, if our book/program can possibly contribute to the reduction in recidivism, it is a small investment ... with huge upside potential. And, that does not take into consideration the impact it may have on family members because how do you calculate the financial savings in terms of individuals who might have ended up in prison, but now have taken control of their lives instead of having their lives control them?"
Design by Sawyer Pennington

Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking.


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io

When I first heard the term "digital literacy," I wasn't exactly sure what it meant, but I'll admit that I feel like a dinosaur when it comes to technology, and usually turn to my daughters for help. I don't know if it's just generational, but I'm intimidated by my computer, and although I can do the basics, any time things go "wrong", I default into panic mode, followed by feeling lost and frustrated. And the thought of buying a new computer? Well, it gives me a headache — not only the cost but especially learning how to use it. And if I lose internet service, I feel disconnected from the world. (I guess that can sometimes be a good thing.)

Then there's my cell phone, and I admit that smartphones often make me feel stupid. I remember when phones were landlines, and cordless was a big deal. Now I'm walking around with a small computer that also makes phone calls and takes photos. I've learned how to text, load some simple apps, and even how to set the alarm clock, but that's about it.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io

I know us "older" people think younger people are technology-savvy, but many are merely technology-dependent, which is very different. Technology is much more than access and setup. Being able to use computers, smartphones, and the internet covers a wide range of "basics" (such as emails and other communication tools, web browsers, and search engines), and there are specific computer skills that improve our productivity (such as word processing and spreadsheets). Plus, you often need web conferencing skills (like Zoom or other audio and video applications) to interview for a job.

But, that is only the beginning. Since we live in a digital world, we need the skills to find and analyze information, and also make sure it is accurate and credible. (What is that adage, "Garbage in — garbage out"?) However, it is not only finding the right information, it is then knowing what to do with it. Including what and how to share.

THE CONVERSATION STARTERS

  • How would you describe digital literacy? What skills do you think are necessary to manage daily life? To be successful in the workplace?
  • Why does using technology correctly seem so daunting?
  • What do you think is the best way to learn about technology and become digitally literate?
  • How do you decide whether online information is accurate and credible?

P.S. – You might be interested in this animated video on Research & Analytical Skills we did as part of a soft skills series for The Greater Houston Partnership's UpSkill Houston initiative.

FULL QUESTION: My teenager's a slob and it's driving me crazy their messy room, leaving dirty dishes all around the house, and the bathroom looking like a disaster area! And now they're home for the summer. Help!


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


Moms everywhere know exactly what you're talking about! And although people told me not to worry, this phase would pass, that didn't make it any better while I was in the midst of it. (I wish I had understood why teenagers have messy rooms and what I could have done to manage it better.) The good news was I was able to set expectations (and help maintain them) for the common areas of the house, but dealing with their rooms was very different. Especially with my eldest daughter, since nothing would work — not bribes, not threats, not rational conversations. I tried all the tips and "tricks" without success and eventually decided to stop nagging her because all it did was get me upset while she seemed perfectly content with the mess.

At that point, I realized my primary concern was that I'd ultimately need an exterminator and/or plumber (for those of you who have lived through this, you understand), so I'd periodically go in and selectively clean that which would create problems for the rest of us. The rest I left alone. Hey, if she wanted to wear smelly clothing or have a bathroom that should be declared a national emergency zone, so be it.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


I do not have children, but there was a time when I did have stepdaughters, and, not knowing what else to do, I decided to treat them like I would new employees. I knew employees basically wanted to please management, so I figured kids wanted to please their parents, and hopefully, stepparents.

I created a "Rules of the House" document (small, basic, easy things), and most of them were things to do versus things not to do. I presented the rules as an opportunity for them to achieve and succeed, not as a set of restrictions. I always found it more effective with employees, and then with the girls (and even their father), to reinforce positive behavior rather than punish bad behavior. It can be as simple as a "thank you," complimenting them on their efforts, or even rewarding a job well done. It seemed to work, and along the way, improved communications and helped us set priorities.
Design by Sawyer Pennington

Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking.


Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


I don't know the origins of #GivingTuesday, but it apparently gets bigger and bigger every year. And I'm not surprised. Having a day that makes you stop and think about others, and what you can do, whether it's a donation of money or time, is so powerful. Not only for the recipient, but for the giver, as there's nothing that compares with feeling you're helping to make a difference in the lives of others.

Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


As I have often said, my decades-long involvement with The Make-A-Wish Foundation does far more for me than I do for them. It is my reality check on life and my constant reminder of what is important. I may not be able to cure the kids, but the fact that I can make their lives, and their families' lives, a little better by helping grant wishes is the least — the very least — I can do in return. But, there are so many organizations that need help. And, not just in terms of money.

THE CONVERSATION STARTERS

  • If you can't afford to donate money to your favorite charities, what are other ways to give back?
  • There are so many good causes and worthwhile charities that need help. How do you decide which to support?
  • Obviously, donating to the causes you care about benefits the charities. But what positive effects can it have for you?