Ask Red & Black

What do you think about tattoos? Would you ever get one?


Red assets.rebelmouse.io


Well, I can tell you that what I think about them today, especially as they’ve become more mainstream (so many celebrities and athletes proudly display them), is very different than how I used to think about them! Growing up, I thought that only “bad people” had tattoos. And I couldn’t quite understand why anyone would want to permanently “decorate” their bodies. Using needles, no less!

So, what changed? When my oldest daughter, Natasha, was fairly young, she talked about getting tattoos. She’s always been a non-conformist (I wonder where she inherited that trait), but I’ve no idea where the tattoo idea came from. And I never thought she’d be willing to endure the pain , especially since she has an extremely low (as in non-existent) tolerance for pain. Yet, she got her first tattoo on the day of her high school graduation instead of walking the stage. And while it was a simple outline of a bat, in honor of her love of bats , she has continued to get more elaborate ones over the years. And my younger daughter, Sawyer, who’s more like a mini-me and more traditional, totally surprised me when she decided to get her first tattoo.


Black assets.rebelmouse.io


Red neglected to answer the question as to whether she would ever get inked. Whereas I already have (warning: tattoos can be addictive). My first tat is identical to Natasha’s bat, and I asked her permission to copy it as a reminder of the special bond between us. My second is the “perfect tattoos” (yes, plural) as it was Sawyer’s first, and we got them done together. For me, while tattoos can be beautiful works of art on their own, there is something very special about having meaningful tattoos.

However, you must think about whether you will “outgrow” or regret the tat later. Keep in mind that while tats may have become more mainstream, there is still some stigma. (Some of my older and more conservative friends tried to hide their looks of disapproval when they saw mine.) It is a function of the other person’s age and prior exposure to tats, the specific tat and location (I still find some face tattoos scary), and your work environment.


Red assets.rebelmouse.io


Absolutely! Even though I’m not Irish, although growing up, many people thought I was because of my red hair. Regardless, I’ve always looked forward to St. Patrick’s Day and celebrate it the same way I did growing up in New York – with corned beef, cabbage, and potatoes . It was one of my favorite dinners then, and it still is, and my daughters feel the same way. Neither one of them will be home this year, but I’ll still be cooking a big pot of it and savoring the leftovers for days.

Plus, and I’m sure Black will roll her eyes, I “dress up” our 5-foot standing stuffed bear that “lives” in the front hallway in his St. Patrick’s Day outfit. (Throughout the year, the bear’s outfit changes with each “significant” holiday – a family tradition that started when my girls were very young.)


Black assets.rebelmouse.io


Considering Red loves history, I am surprised that she did not mention the history behind St. Patrick’s Day or that St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, was neither Irish nor a Saint. And, given Red's love of bagels, I am shocked she did not mention that our local bagel shop would always make green ones to celebrate the holiday.

How do I celebrate? I have always been a clotheshorse, so it is easy just to wear something green. Growing up, it was not that I was conforming to the tradition of wearing green so leprechauns could not see me; it was because many boys in school looked for any “legitimate” excuse to pinch girls, and I refused to give them that opportunity. Over the years, as I collected Hermes shawls (you can see them in the background in Selfish,Shallow … And Svelte?), I would grab one that had green and call it a day. St. Patrick’s Day.

You don’t have to be Irish to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day – whether with food and drink (does green beer taste different?), wearing green, thoughts of leprechauns and good luck, or just taking a few minutes to enjoy these Irish quotes.


Red assets.rebelmouse.io


Thanks for making me stop and think about this. I realized that on the days that when I’m out and I’m not feeling totally stressed or in a rush to do a million and one things, I find myself engaging in a little more conversation with people or, at the very least, taking that extra moment to connect. It might be someone that needs assistance, or merely the opening of a door. Or, I might make eye contact with someone in the grocery store, and make a passing, but kind, comment. Sometimes they “return” the kindness, but even if it’s just a smile that gets returned – it makes a difference to both of us.

So, having said all that, the reality is regardless how busy we may be, it only takes a moment to show a little kindness. And I’m going to try harder, even when I’m super busy or in a cranky mood (most days fall into one of those categories) to share simple acts of kindness. If nothing else, it just might put me in a better mood. And, ideally, it might get passed on.


Black assets.rebelmouse.io


I always say, “Red is the nice one.” And, by that I mean she always tries to behave in a pleasant or agreeable way, wanting people to like her (although there are days when she has exhausted her quota of “nice”). But, kindness is different. Kindness is doing something that is helpful to others. It can be contagious, and the benefits and ripple effects can be significant. However, instead of quoting research and statistics, I will share this simple, but powerful, video, “ Change The World With Kindness.”

P.S. Need some kindness ideas, click here. Or for some inspiring quotes, click here.


Red assets.rebelmouse.io


I can relate. When my husband got fired, Black made me total up all our credit card debt, and I broke down in tears. The funny thing is that before she’d help me deal with it, she insisted on giving me a history lesson on credit cards. And although I love history, initially, I fought her. But I’m so glad she ignored me! To this day, understanding that the origin of credit cards wasn’t a line of credit but instead a convenience (to be paid in full every month) has made a huge difference.

But that doesn’t answer your question. I think we all know how easy it is to rack up credit card debt, especially during the holidays. A holiday budget would’ve helped, but now you need a monthly budget to see where you can cut back and apply those “savings” to pay down your credit card bills. Without making this a math class (not my favorite subject), I just memorized that after paying the minimums, I should apply any “extra” money to the credit cards with the highest interest rates (APRs). There’s nothing I can do about the past, but I can start making better decisions today.


Black assets.rebelmouse.io


I appreciate that “misery loves company,” and recognizing that we all are susceptible to overspending (Nicholas Cage took it to the extreme) helps explain why in the last year, credit card debt has exploded.

I recently read that HBO star Issa Rae admitted that when she was a college student, she ran up lots of credit card debt, to the point it was “crippling” (her word, not mine). It reminded me of how shortly after getting my M.B.A. (in International Finance, so I had no excuse), I got in debt over my head. To the point where although I was making a great salary in a corporate job, I had to take a second job waitressing on weekends to pay down the debt.

Am I suggesting you get a second job? No. I am suggesting you look at the numbers and then decide how best to “attack” them (maybe even consider debt consolidation to lower the overall interest rate you are paying). Some people suggest paying off the lowest balances first, but that is a psychological approach. As Red will tell you, I am pragmatic and prefer to crunch the numbers, and come up with a realistic plan and set myself up for success.