More Than A Flag ... An Important Message

Photo by nycshooter on iStock

What do you get when you cross Flag Day (June 14) with June being Effective Communication Month? Well, if you include Black in the mix, you get one of Red’s favorite memories … and a unique way to think about the importance of communicating – whether in your personal or professional life. And especially if you’re in a racecar!

assets.rebelmouse.io	This past weekend, I noticed a bunch of flags on my street and wondered why since July 4 ^th is still almost a month away. But this morning, I learned that today's Flag Day.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Well, for someone who likes to decorate for the holidays, I would have thought you would have known all about it.
assets.rebelmouse.io	I've heard of it, but I never really thought much about it, let alone when it is. I knew it had to do with the American flag, but it surprised me that it has nothing to do with Betsy Ross, which legend has made the first flag, although it seems there's no evidence to support that.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	If you want an interesting "story", read about why the American flag is called Old Glory . Regardless, the American flag, like all flags, communicates a message.
assets.rebelmouse.io	I know you like to connect odd dots, but only you would see a connection between flags and communications.

Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Not really. In the case of the American flag, they needed something to communicate a new nation fighting for its freedom . But remember when I gave Natasha a set of racing flags years ago?
assets.rebelmouse.io	How could I forget? It was a very difficult and challenging time. And although you had already made me realize that different people like to communicate differently , the problem with Natasha wasn't so much how to communicate with her as figuring out when. We were frustrated and walking around on eggshells because we never knew when she was in a good mood or a bad mood, when it was safe to talk to her, and when she needed to be left alone.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Sometimes flags are the perfect way to communicate a message when words are not an option.
assets.rebelmouse.io	Leave it to you to use racing flags to solve what seemed like an impossible situation in a way that was not only clever but appealed to her because of her love of cars and racing. And we know where she got that from!
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	It just seemed logical. As did the cheat sheet where I basically "translated" the racing meanings of the different color flags for your use. For example, in racing, a green flag can either be the start of a race, a re-start, or just displayed to communicate safe racing. With Natasha, it would mean it was "safe" to talk to her. In racing, a yellow flag means caution and to slow down, which needs no further explanation.
assets.rebelmouse.io	I remember her telling me, quite emphatically, that a black flag means "Go away." Which made me laugh because it just seemed so, well, appropriate, given that's something I could see you saying.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	On the track, it means to go to the pits, usually because you are in trouble. So, I cannot argue with your comment about it being appropriate for me. But, keep in mind that a red flag means to "Stop!"

communication

Words & Banter

Red Then. Red Now.

From back flap of our book, “What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!” Photographer unknown.

Long before we had an ABOUT page, readers met Red not only through the back flap of our bestselling book, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, but because her crisis was the book’s title! But a lot has happened since Black turned her crisis into a book — a brand — a business. Including a lot of growing up.

And Red? Still warm and fuzzy. Just a lot less sheltered.

WHAT WE SAID THEN

When we started working on the book, Red couldn’t find a photo of her and the girls, so they posed for one in the fall of 2004. Later, our book editor captured Red this way:

After getting a degree in Theater Arts, Red moved back in with her parents until she married an outgoing Englishman and followed his career around the globe. Now she lives in Sugar Land, a suburban city on the outskirts of Houston, Texas. Red is a warm and fuzzy mom whose life revolves around her two red-headed girls. With Red, it's all about the feelings.

WHAT WE DIDN’T KNOW THEN …

We knew Red was used to letting others take the lead. We didn’t know that once she took control, she’d discover how much she was capable of.

We knew her life revolved around her two red-headed girls. We didn’t know how much growing up was still ahead — for them and for Red.

We knew Red had learned a lot when her husband got fired. We probably should have known she’d want to use what she learned to help others.

And we described Red as “warm and fuzzy” and “all about the feelings. ”Still true. She’s just learned that sometimes warm and fuzzy isn’t enough.

AND THERE’S A STORY BEHIND THE PHOTO …

What makes this seemingly ordinary photo remarkable? Red’s in front of the camera!

She was almost always the one behind the camera, so when we needed a photo of her for the book, it had to be staged. In fact, she’s not even sure who took the photo.

At the time, it was simply a photo we needed. Looking at it now, it’s more than that. It captured Red in the middle of the life she’d always dreamed about — and when her girls were still young and being their mom was the center of her world.

She knew they would grow up. She just didn’t know how quickly that picture would become a memory.

A lot has changed since that photo was taken. Including Red.

Red & Black

Words & Banter

Comparing Red & Black

Same family. Very different approaches to life.

Red is warm and fuzzy. Black is pragmatic and sarcastic.

Red leads with her heart. Black leads with her head.
Red wants to talk it through. Black wants to solve it.
Red gives you the context. Black gives you the bottom line.

Which sounds more like you?

Which brings us to one of our favorite examples: When we had to explain the differences between us for the Introduction to What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, Red wrote pages with her usual blah-blah-blah. Black gave the book designer a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet.

Funny thing is that over the years, readers have not only told us which of us they’re more like, but also gone so far as to identify the “Reds” and “Blacks” in their own families. We even had a few who nicknamed themselves (one was “Brown,” another was “Bald”).

So, are you more like Red or Black? Or somewhere in between?

comparing sisters

Words & Banter

Finding Balance … With A Traffic Light?

Red assets.rebelmouse.io	I know everyone’s always trying to find balance in their life. I thought becoming an empty nester would make that easier, but apparently not. The girls may be grown, but being a mom doesn’t end when your children move out. Between them, Red & Black, and my seemingly endless lists of things to do, I still struggle.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	And, as I am a die-hard workaholic who admits to not having a life, you think I have the answer?
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Excellent point. Never mind.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	However, I do have some suggestions … although I will preface it with, "Do as I say, not as I do."

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finding balance

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For Red & Black Banter in your inbox ...

Red assets.rebelmouse.io	At this point, I'll take whatever help I can get.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Sometimes you need to make a conscious effort to stay present. And, by that I mean appreciate what is happening now instead of thinking about what is next. Or, reminiscing about the past.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	That sounds good, but it also sounds overly simplistic, not to mention highly optimistic. And where would I even start?
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Easy. It really is as simple as 1 – 2 – 3.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Nothing's that simple.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	1. SLOW down and look around 2. STOP using your gizmo and consider putting it away 3. GO spend time with family or friends, or steal some "alone time"
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	Actually, that does sound simple. Now I just have to remember to SLOW – STOP –GO.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Just imagine a traffic light. Plus, it would have the added benefit of every time you see a real traffic light, it will remind you to SLOW –STOP – GO.
Red assets.rebelmouse.io	I should've known there'd be a car or driving analogy in there somewhere.
Black assets.rebelmouse.io	Throttle on ...