Ask Red & Black

Do you both always agree on everything? If not, how do you handle disagreement?

Design by Sawyer Pennington


Red's Head Red assets.rebelmouse.io


Oh, you must be kidding! Would you expect a warm and fuzzy single parent to always see eye-to-eye with an extremely pragmatic business executive who never had kids? But what helps is Black's favorite word is "Why" and she tries to understand my perspective. Although sometimes I have to explain to her that "it's a mere mortal thing" (I've come to the conclusion she's a Vulcan).


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


For the most part we agree on the "big things" as we have the same basic values, but not always the smaller things (funny how small things cause bigger disagreements). Years ago, I learned to pick my battles. And, also learned the value of agreeing to disagree.
communication
Ask Red & Black

Were you surprised you were asked to develop — and teach — a personal finance program?

Design by Sawyer Pennington


Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io


Are you kidding?! I'm a cookie-baking carpool mom, and although we had just published a book based on my "crisis", we didn't even think of ourselves as authors. (My sister saved our emails and Instant Messages, and has never told me if she taped our phone conversations!) And the book was supposed to be the basis of a sitcom! We had literally done one speaking engagement and now were being asked to get in front of classrooms full of high school seniors for a semester-long course. During their LAST semester! Surprised? "Shocked" might be a better word. Or, maybe "panicked."


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


My immediate reaction was, "Sure, not a problem." Then, while Red was busy panicking, I focused on how to get it done. The request was in keeping with KIPP's approach to looking for non-traditional methods of educating students, so they agreed when I asked for a task force of students to help us develop the program. (I knew it had to be relevant or there was no point in doing it.) And, it was the students who suggested we use our book as a textbook, calling it a "reality show in a book" … which, at least, validated my idea that the book could be the basis of a sitcom.

Want to know more about our book?

  • For more details, including the Table Of Contents, click here.
  • To read some Book Bites (excerpts), click here.
"real life" curriculum
Ask Red & Black

Real Questions. Real Answers.

Design by Sawyer Pennington

JUST LIKE MOM?

One of the things that drove Red crazy growing up was when our mother asked everyone questions. Lots and lots of questions. But that was because Red was a quiet, unassuming child who disliked attention of any sort. However, as she grew up, she realized how else do you find answers? Black, on the other hand, rarely asks personal questions, figuring if you want her to know something, you’ll volunteer it. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t ask questions. Lots and lots of questions. (WARNING! Her favorite one is, “Why?”)

OUR FAVORITE QUESTIONS …

Our favorite part of Speaking Engagements is when we open it up to questions from the audience, and, more often than not, we run out of time before we run out of questions. Many times, the questions are predictable (Did Red’s husband ever get a job?) and sometimes they’re not what we expected (What did Black learn from Red? FYI, she had to pause before answering). However, given Black turned Red’s crisis into a book — a brand — a business, we haven’t gotten a question that we refused to answer. (Note: Please do NOT take that as a challenge.)

We’ve also done countless media interviews, and the questions from media professionals are not very different from the ones at speaking engagements. However, many of them provide us with an opportunity to share food for thought and “instantly actionable” suggestions, so we’ll share the “better” questions with you.

QUESTIONS WE ASK EACH OTHER?

If you’re wondering if we ever generate the questions, the answer is “yes.” Why? Because sometimes one of us wants to know how the other one would answer it. Typically, Black’s curious about Red’s self-proclaimed “mere mortal” take on a topic, but sometimes it’s Red needing a non-emotional perspective.

SEND US YOUR QUESTIONS!

We love questions. And, yes, you can submit one. (Red gets very excited when they arrive in her inbox.)

If you receive our newsletter, you’re part of the group we invite to send questions to Red, Black, or both of us.

We read them almost immediately. (Red insists.) From there, we select the questions most likely to resonate with our community — ones that are useful, thought-provoking, or simply fun.

Because the goal isn’t just to respond. It’s to make it worth sharing.

P. S. — If you want to be part of this community, sign up on the sticky bar at the bottom of this page.

Ask Red & Black

I can’t see my desk there’s so much paper on it. Help!

Image on screen is from "What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!"


Red's Head assets.rebelmouse.io


Oh, there are more days than I'd care to admit that I'd be grateful if it were just my desk that had too much paper on it, as I've been known to use my floor as a filing system. Really! And I've been known to complain about feeling like I'm drowning in paper on way more than one occasion.

So, what do I do? Well, after kicking myself for letting things (once again) get out of hand instead of keeping on top of the paper clutter, I take a deep breath and remember the advice that Black gave me years ago. And although I initially resisted following her advice, once I gave in, I found it was the perfect (and easiest) way to turn mountains of paper into manageable stacks. But since it's her "system", I'll let her explain it to you.


Black's Head Black assets.rebelmouse.io


All those words and Red provided only empathy — but no real advice. However, she raises a good point in that paper will always accumulate, and we should strive to keep it from getting out of control … versus trying to control it "perfectly".

Now, in terms of the advice I gave Red, our accountants would suggest I refer you to our book, but I hate when people do that. Instead, we put the relevant excerpt on this site: Too Much Paper — Not Enough Time.

But, here is a short version ("short" in terms of explanation, not the time it will take to make the piles shrink): take a handful of papers and begin sorting them into piles based on priority — immediate, this week, next week, next month, next lifetime. You will quickly realize that the majority of the items will be very low priority, such as reading, filing, or shredding. And, separating out the highest-priority items will not only help you focus on them, but will also reduce the stress of wondering if there is something important you are forgetting to do.
piles of paper