The election's over, but I’m still having political arguments with friends and relatives. Any suggestions?!
You could do what I do with Black, pick and choose your
arguments, especially since in my case I know that I'll rarely "win" – and by
that, I mean get her to change her mind and see it my way (ha-ha). So, it's not really an argument as much it's a
conversation, which is a very different thing.
Plus, because I'm the queen of the disclaimer, I also always state up front that things are just my thoughts or opinion, not right or wrong (although, like most people, I feel like I'm right). I'm not sure the disclaimer makes a difference to her, but it makes me feel better.
Finally, I've learned the hard way that sometimes she'll debate an issue just for the sport of it, or to get me to really think through my position by asking me to explain WHY I'm thinking (or believe) what I do. Which means, sometimes I have no idea what she's actually thinking without point-blank asking her.
Did any of this make any sense? Or help?
I am not sure I am the right person to answer this question,
as I will disagree with someone just for the fun of trying to get them to see
it my way. Even if I am taking the
position opposite of what I believe. Although, I will admit that it does help me better understand other perspectives. (Maybe arguments should be turned into games where everyone has to switch sides.) |
My advice to you? Recognize that everyone forms their opinions based on the circumstances of their life. So, decide if you want to spend your time with them trying to change them or what they believe – or just trying to understand the WHY behind their views … about politics and life. And, remember, understanding is very different from agreeing.
If you do find yourself in a serious argument – it should not be a dual to the bitter end. At some point, you may need to agree to disagree. Or, just change the subject.
me, this is a very special Black Friday
… as it’s Black’s birthday, which makes me smile as the term “Black Friday”
couldn’t be more perfect. So, as much as
she prefers to ignore it, my daughters and I will ignore her (it’s probably the
only day we can get away with that) and, at the very least, wish her a very
Happy Birthday in person.
After that, I’m looking forward to carrying on my “day after Thanksgiving” tradition, which unlike millions of other Americans, isn’t going shopping. It’s going to the movies! And it’s not because I hate to shop; it’s because I love the quiet and escape of a movie, especially as it’s the perfect way to relax and recuperate after my marathon Turkey Day shopping, cooking, and cleaning up. Of course, the popcorn is the best part, and Black claims (rightfully so) it’s the real reason I go to the movies.
I celebrate my birthday the same way I celebrate holidays
and even Black Friday. I work. And, enjoy the quiet and uninterrupted pace
of the day as everyone else is busy doing something else. (Red refers to this time of year as the “silly season”,
but all I know is that in-store shopping is too crowded, too time-consuming,
So, when do I do my holiday shopping? For family, I do things for them throughout the year, so holiday gifts are more like holiday tokens. For everyone else, usually on Cyber Monday, especially at Zabar’s, where I traditionally buy most of my holiday gifts. And, while I know that for some people, nothing will stop them from shopping on Black Friday, for others (such as myself), nothing will get us started.
it’s a simple question, but I hope you weren’t expecting a straightforward answer. In terms of my favorite candy, which I rarely
eat at any other time of the year (but I find the Halloween sizes irresistible),
that would be M&M’s (regular or peanut), Nestle Crunch, and KitKat. The
funny thing is, unlike our mom, I’m not a chocoholic,
but there’s just something about the combination of sweet and crunchy. (Which may also explain why I love kettle corn, but
that’s an entirely different subject.)
But when I think of Halloween and fall (my favorite season), there’s one candy that beats out all the others – candy corn! And it has to be the traditional white-orange-yellow ones. I’ll admit that I loved them more when I was a child, but the fact they’re one of my daughter Natasha’s favorites always make me smile. As does memories of making turkey cupcakes with candy corn forming the perfect feathers, beak, and feet!
I have one word to describe candy corn – nasty. Consistency and flavor. Although I will admit they make great
(non-edible) cupcake decorations. Anyway,
growing up, my favorite Halloween candies were Mounds, Milk Duds, Charleston
Chew, and Starburst. (Candy trivia –
which of those was used to teach rheology, the branch of physics that studies
the deformation and flow of matter? For the answer, check out this paper
from the Geological Society of America.)
Today, although I am no longer a candy fan, I enjoy the history of Halloween candy in general as well as specific nostalgic treats. But, I love how the Halloween concept of individually wrapped smaller versions of candy is now being used for other food items (such as pretzels, veggie chips, and popcorn). And, I am stocking up on them as they are perfect portion-controlled snacks good year-round.
We’re a storytelling society, so it only makes sense that when asked about tattoos, stories are part of our answers. After all, each of us strongly believes that what makes a tattoo perfect isn’t only the creativity of the tattoo and the skill of the artist; it’s the story that has inspired the tattoo.
P.S. – And if Red ever decides to get a tattoo, you can guarantee there will be a story behind it!
can tell you that what I think about them today, especially as they’ve
(so many celebrities
proudly display them), is very different than how I used to think about
them! Growing up, I thought
that only “bad people” had tattoos. And I couldn’t
quite understand why anyone would want to permanently “decorate” their bodies. Using needles, no less!
So, what changed? When my oldest daughter, Natasha, was fairly young, she talked about getting tattoos. She’s always been a non-conformist (I wonder where she inherited that trait), but I’ve no idea where the tattoo idea came from. And I never thought she’d be willing to endure the pain , especially since she has an extremely low (as in non-existent) tolerance for pain. Yet, she got her first tattoo on the day of her high school graduation instead of walking the stage. And while it was a simple outline of a bat, in honor of her love of bats , she has continued to get more elaborate ones over the years. And my younger daughter, Sawyer, who’s more like a mini-me and more traditional, totally surprised me when she decided to get her first tattoo.
Red neglected to answer the question as
to whether she would ever get inked.
Whereas I already have (warning:
tattoos can be
). My first tat is
identical to Natasha’s bat, and I asked her permission to copy it as a reminder
of the special bond between us. My second
is the “
perfect tattoos” (yes, plural) as it was Sawyer’s first, and we got them
done together. For me, while tattoos can
be beautiful works of art on their own, there is something very special about having
However, you must think about whether you will “outgrow” or regret the tat later. Keep in mind that while tats may have become more mainstream, there is still some stigma. (Some of my older and more conservative friends tried to hide their looks of disapproval when they saw mine.) It is a function of the other person’s age and prior exposure to tats, the specific tat and location (I still find some face tattoos scary), and your work environment .