Ask Red & Black

The election's over, but I’m still having political arguments with friends and relatives. Any suggestions?!

Design by Sawyer Pennington


Red's HeadRed assets.rebelmouse.io


You could do what I do with Black, pick and choose your arguments, especially since in my case I know that I'll rarely "win" – and by that, I mean get her to change her mind and see it my way (ha-ha). So, it's not really an argument as much it's a conversation, which is a very different thing.

Plus, because I'm the queen of the disclaimer, I also always state up front that things are just my thoughts or opinion, not right or wrong (although, like most people, I feel like I'm right). I'm not sure the disclaimer makes a difference to her, but it makes me feel better.

Finally, I've learned the hard way that sometimes she'll debate an issue just for the sport of it, or to get me to really think through my position by asking me to explain WHY I'm thinking (or believe) what I do. Which means, sometimes I have no idea what she's actually thinking without point-blank asking her.

Did any of this make any sense? Or help?


Black's HeadBlack assets.rebelmouse.io


I am not sure I am the right person to answer this question, as I will disagree with someone just for the fun of trying to get them to see it my way. Even if I am taking the position opposite of what I believe. Although, I will admit that it does help me better understand other perspectives. (Maybe arguments should be turned into games where everyone has to switch sides.)

My advice to you? Recognize that everyone forms their opinions based on the circumstances of their life. So, decide if you want to spend your time with them trying to change them or what they believe – or just trying to understand the WHY behind their views … about politics and life. And, remember, understanding is very different from agreeing.

If you do find yourself in a serious argument – it should not be a dual to the bitter end. At some point, you may need to agree to disagree. Or, just change the subject.

Familiar with the saying, "It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity”? Well, with unbearably hot temperatures around the country, does it really matter which it is? Or even if it’s both?! Which is why this older “Ask Red & Black” is still relevant



Red's Headassets.rebelmouse.io


I'm laughing because I suspect Black would argue that I rarely look "nice" in the sense that I rarely "dress up". Even before the pandemic, unless I had a Red& Black business meeting or speaking engagement, my normal "look" was that of super comfy – workout or very casual clothing and minimal makeup. Here in Texas, where the heat and humidity are oppressive, I'm always looking for tips because the moment you step outside, you're going to start sweating, your makeup will drip, and your hair will either frizz or wilt (neither's a good look for me). So, I keep my skincare simple and summer-friendly – extremely lightweight, tinted facial moisturizer with a high SPF (so I only need a single product) and waterproof mascara.

I've never been very creative when managing my long hair for the summer, but my daughter let me in on a secret when she straightened my hair for me. Unlike my rushed approach, she took an extra 10 minutes to do it in smaller sections, which looked great when my hair was down, but amazingly, even made my ponytail look "finished". Taking a little more time to do it right makes a huge difference, as now my hair stands up to the heat and humidity. (Good news is she's always willing to do it for me, bad news is that she goes to college in a few months, so I'll have to learn how to do it myself.)


Black's HeadBlackassets.rebelmouse.io


When I started racing cars in the mid-1990s, I cut my hair very short so I could easily style it with some water and hair goo when I removed my helmet, which makes it perfect for summer. (Plus, I calculated that I could save over 10 hours/week, or five full days a year, by not dealing with my hair.)

In terms of clothing, it is a function of where you are going or where you work (obviously, if you are in the banking industry, you will dress very differently from someone who works for a design or marketing firm). For the last few decades, I have worn the same "uniform" – dark slacks or jeans, white shirt, blazer, and colorful Hermès shawl. In the summer, I select pieces that are light-colored, loose-fitting, and breathable fabrics, but if I had to give one tip, it would be to wear layers since going in and out of air-conditioning can be a challenge, although I see it as a fashion opportunity. In fact, that is how my "signature" shawls started as, regardless of the season, I would always have one with me to handle changes in temperature.

March is Women’s History Month, so what better time to reflect on how women can inspire other women to do amazing things? We’re rerunning a Q&A from a few years ago because celebrating women’s accomplishments is worth repeating and rereading … And it shouldn’t happen only in March!

P. S. – Betty White made this list, but how many of these trailblazing women do you recognize?


Red assets.rebelmouse.io


Even with two daughters, and a sister who has been a role model for them and other girls (at speaking engagements, girls and boys are always surprised to learn she was the first woman to race the road course at Indianapolis Motor Speedway), it wasn’t until last year that I learned there even was a Women’s History Month. (Which is embarrassing as I claim to love history.) But once I made it a point to not only take notice of stories of women in history, but also women making history (for example, Wally Funk), I realized there are so many inspirational women – you just have to look for their stories.


Black assets.rebelmouse.io


It is the 21 st Century; we should not need a Women’s History Month to make sure that we remember and honor all the contributions and accomplishments of women. (And, I will not get into my opinion of the word " herstory.”)

But, there are many great ways for us to celebrate. Find stories you find inspirational, and then share them with others. Donate (time or money) to an organization that helps women. Make an effort to support women-owned businesses. Or, maybe something as simple (and as enjoyable) as listening to your favorite female artists and musicians, reading female authors, or watching movies about strong independent women.

FULL QUESTION: It’s hotter than ever …do you have any tips for looking “nice” during the heat of the summer?

Summers are hotter than ever, but it’s always been a challenge to look put together (forget polished) in August. Especially in the Houston area, so here's an “Ask Red & Black” summer rerun … because some things never go out of style …



Red's Headassets.rebelmouse.io


I'm laughing because I suspect Black would argue that I rarely look "nice" in the sense that I rarely "dress up". Even before the pandemic, unless I had a Red& Black business meeting or speaking engagement, my normal "look" was that of super comfy – workout or very casual clothing and minimal makeup. Here in Texas, where the heat and humidity are oppressive, I'm always looking for tips because the moment you step outside, you're going to start sweating, your makeup will drip, and your hair will either frizz or wilt (neither's a good look for me). So, I keep my skincare simple and summer-friendly – extremely lightweight, tinted facial moisturizer with a high SPF (so I only need a single product) and waterproof mascara.

I've never been very creative when managing my long hair for the summer, but my daughter let me in on a secret when she straightened my hair for me. Unlike my rushed approach, she took an extra 10 minutes to do it in smaller sections, which looked great when my hair was down, but amazingly, even made my ponytail look "finished". Taking a little more time to do it right makes a huge difference, as now my hair stands up to the heat and humidity. (Good news is she's always willing to do it for me, bad news is that she goes to college in a few months, so I'll have to learn how to do it myself.)


Black's HeadBlackassets.rebelmouse.io


When I started racing cars in the mid-1990s, I cut my hair very short so I could easily style it with some water and hair goo when I removed my helmet, which makes it perfect for summer. (Plus, I calculated that I could save over 10 hours/week, or five full days a year, by not dealing with my hair.)

In terms of clothing, it is a function of where you are going or where you work (obviously, if you are in the banking industry, you will dress very differently from someone who works for a design or marketing firm). For the last few decades, I have worn the same "uniform" – dark slacks or jeans, white shirt, blazer, and colorful Hermès shawl. In the summer, I select pieces that are light-colored, loose-fitting, and breathable fabrics, but if I had to give one tip, it would be to wear layers since going in and out of air-conditioning can be a challenge, although I see it as a fashion opportunity. In fact, that is how my "signature" shawls started, as, regardless of the season, I would always have one with me to handle changes in temperature.