# Red and Black - Complete Content > Red and Black: complete content export for LLMs - 21 sections and the 100 most recent articles. Navigation index: https://www.redandblackbanter.com/llms.txt **Site Overview:** - Domain: https://www.redandblackbanter.com - Total Sections: 21 - Recent Posts Included: 100 - Content Word Count: ~31144 words - Last Updated: 2026-10-14 - Generated: October 14, 2026 16:33:47 **Important Information:** - © 2026 Red and Black. 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Bats? **Published:** October 8, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** General **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/life-and-bats-in-austin-2669321306.html.md October is Bat Appreciation Month, and while most people associate bats with Halloween, they remind Red of something very different and far more important: her daughter, Natasha, a memorable trip to Austin, and a surprising decision by Black. What started with thousands of bats flying out from under Austin's Congress Avenue Bridge eventually led to Natasha and Black getting their first — and matching tattoos. Of a bat. (Yes, Black has a tattoo!) It's a family story about memories, unexpected connections, and how something as unusual as bats can become surprisingly meaningful. assets.rebelmouse.io Thanks for sending me Natasha's Austin-inspired business plan. But while I know that's her future, I can't help but think about the first time I took her to Austin. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io All I remember is that it was love at first sight. assets.rebelmouse.io It was on our way home from taking Sawyer to camp, and I told her we were making a slight "detour". She was so excited when I pulled up to the hotel, as she's always loved hotels. But that night, as we walked onto Congress Avenue Bridge and saw thousands and thousands of bats fly out into the sunset, she was mesmerized and "in love". Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Although I knew about the bats (the largest urban colony of bats in the world), if it were not for Natasha, I never would have planned a trip to Austin to see them. But having watched her watching the bats, I was not surprised, years later, when her first tattoo was a bat. assets.rebelmouse.io That may not have been surprising, but I was shocked when, a few weeks later, you decided to get a tattoo that was identical to hers. I didn't know that you were such a fan of bats. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io It was not the bats; it was the fact that it was identical to he tat. Although, I think Natasha and I should add a few more bats. And this time, do it in Austin. assets.rebelmouse.io It's amazing how so many of my memories of the girls growing up are connected to Austin. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Funny thing is, whenever I would be there with you and the girls, and they would "drag" me to that old-time candy store at the top of Congress, I would see things I had not seen since we were little, so would be reminded of us as children. assets.rebelmouse.io That's always one of the first places they'd want to go to in Austin. That and Green Mesquite BBQ. They both loved Austin, and it wasn't like going to a large city, where there are so many places to go and sights to see. They were always happy to go back to the same familiar places and enjoy simple things, like that snowcone truck or even just walking around downtown. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io For as long as I can remember, Austin has always been a foodie town. And, it had food trucks before they became popular around the country. Austin has a unique culture, which may be why the girls, but especially Natasha, love it. Its "Keep Austin Weird" vibe not only makes it the perfect place for her, but has provided some great ideas for her business concept. assets.rebelmouse.io I'll leave the business analysis to you. I know that she's doing that as part of her studies in the U.K., but I prefer to think about the great times we've had in Austin. And the mom in me thinks she'd be very happy to make Austin her home one day. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Especially as that's where millions of her beloved Austin bats live. --- ### You Can’t Have American History Without Hispanic History **Published:** September 24, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Banter Bites **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/american-history-requires-hispanic-history-2658305337.html.md Are you familiar with Hispanic Heritage Month? If not, maybe it’s time. --- ### A Love Of Movies. Or Popcorn? **Published:** September 16, 2026 | **Author:** RED | **Section:** Words & Banter **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/love-movies-or-theater-popcorn-2655747741.html.md It's a running joke in my family that the only reason I go to the movies is for the popcorn. And while that isn't 100% true, it's probably close, as I can't remember a time when popcorn wasn't an essential part of the experience. I can still remember seeing Mel Brooks' "Young Frankenstein" when it was first released (in 1974) at the Massapequa movie theater, which was literally at one end of an old strip shopping center. It bore no resemblance to today's multiplex cinemas, and the concession stand offerings were very limited. It was dark and a bit dingy, and the seats were old and uncomfortable. But I didn't care because the popcorn more than made up for it. And while I sat through multiple showings of the movie (it's still one of my favorites), I was grateful my dad had given me enough money to buy multiple popcorns, as in those days there was no such thing as the big bucket, let alone free refills. Fast forward, and some things never change... First, I ask them to fill the large bucket "really high, please, I haven't eaten all day, and I'm starving." Ok, so I probably did eat earlier, but I need an excuse for asking for a ridiculous amount of popcorn, don't I? Which takes me to the next part of my routine. If the bucket's filled to the point of overflowing, I know exactly the pace to eat it so that it lasts for almost the entire movie. (Trust me, I'm not kidding!) And then, the final part of the routine … I don't start eating my popcorn until the movie begins. Not the coming attractions— the movie. (Unlike Black, who races to finish her small size popcorn by the time the movie starts as if it's something to be ticked off a "to do" list.) So, think what you will, but for me, the popcorn's a critical part of what makes going to the movies so enjoyable. And has become an amusing memory for my youngest daughter and me, as many years ago, when we were in the concession stand line, she asked me what size popcorn I was getting, I love you, honey, and you're so smart, but that may be the silliest question you've ever asked me. And, quite possibly, will ever ask me. To this day, she still remembers it, and although she no longer lives at home, when she hears that I’ve gone to the movies, she’ll jokingly ask me what size popcorn I got. And in the same breath, answer the question. Because she knows that there’s only one answer.The biggest bucket available. --- ### We Fondly Call Them … Our Guinea Pigs **Published:** September 15, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Words & Banter **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/fondly-called-our-guinea-pigs-2648974017.html.md Every time we see the photo above of our "guinea pigs", it brings back such fond memories. You may be thinking, "What? Are they calling those students guinea pigs?!" Well, actually, yes. And before you think ill of us, please know that we use the term with great affection, deep gratitude, and utmost respect. And these eight amazing seniors from the Class of 2010 know that's our nickname for them because ... We started calling them our "Guinea Pigs" as soon as they volunteered to help us develop our Red & Black Personal Finance and Life 101 program at KIPP Houston High School. It was important that they knew this was truly an “experiment”, as neither one of us was a teacher or a financial expert. It all started at our first speaking engagement, when during Q&A a woman asked why the topics in our book weren’t taught in school. The next thing we knew, we were sitting in the office of Bryan Contreras, Director of KIPP Through College, and being asked not only to develop, but also to teach, a semester-long personal finance and Life 101 course to their high school seniors. During their spring semester. (Yes, the months right before they graduate.) While Red looked like a deer in headlights (we barely considered ourselves authors, let alone teachers), Black responded as she often does, with a simple: Sure, not a problem. While Red went home to carpool and baking cookies, Black did what she does best — use her corporate and business experience to tackle the challenge. So, she requested a "task force" of seniors to help us develop the curriculum because, as she put it: If it is not relevant, why bother? And, who knows best what is relevant to high school seniors? High school seniors. Black introduced them to the business concept of a working lunch (which might also be considered a pizza bribe), and we met for five Fridays. We gave them a list of select book excerpts they were expected to read each week so we could discuss what they thought should be included in the curriculum. That first week, they seemed motivated to help — but we weren't sure what to expect. They came back excited and totally committed, with two of them having read the entire book and the rest having read much more than the assigned excerpts. Luckily, Red had been a straight-A, copious note-taking student. However, she could barely keep up with their comments and feedback, let alone the side discussions generated by the conversations in our book. You could see their interest in personal finance (and many other Life 101 topics) was strong and genuine, and they explained that learning from the mistakes of others was extremely powerful. One student, after prefacing his comment with apologies, stated: When I grow up, I don't want to be Red. We'll always be indebted to our Guinea Pigs for their enthusiasm and suggestions, as using our book as the textbook was their idea, not ours. And through their feedback on the book and the lessons they were already learning from it, which began at those pizza lunches, the answer to how best to "teach" a Red & Black class was obvious to them. It was as simple as a book club. For us, it took a little longer to come to that realization as we were hampered by our own preconceived notions about how lessons are taught in a classroom. So, although the initial intent may have been for us to be the teachers and them to be the students... we learned from each other. P.S. – For those of you interested in a more "educational" look at our detour into the world of education, including "feedback" (student quotes, Black's "non-scientific" surveys, and KIPP press releases) from our two spring semesters when we "taught" at KIPP Houston High School, please check out An Unexpected Education Detour ... --- ### A Memory Lane Car Analogy? **Published:** September 15, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Words & Banter **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/a-memory-lane-car-analogy-2646424795.html.md Red loves to stop and reminisce. Black prefers to look forward. But even Black will admit that sometimes there’s value in looking back — it reminds us where we came from, the detours and roadblocks we have managed to navigate, and that we may be stronger and more capable than we give ourselves credit for. Sometimes, it’s a lesson learned. Sometimes, it’s a memory that reminds us what’s truly important. But Black has one caveat (and it's one of her favorite car analogies) … If you decide to look back, keep it in perspective. There's a reason why windshields are so much larger than rearview mirrors. --- ### Life, Literacy, And The Pursuit Of … Making A Difference **Published:** September 15, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Words & Banter **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/life-literacy-making-a-difference-2673952014.html.md red headassets.rebelmouse.io I have a confession to make, which I’m sure will make you roll your eyes. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Interesting caveat and probably true. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Every time we meet with Jackie (Aguilera) and hear what she’s doing in the world of adult education, I can see why her expertise and creativity are in such high demand. Not to mention, I feel like I’m back in school and having to take copious notes. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I am more than happy to send you “homework assignments” as I come across relevant articles and research. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll stick to taking notes. But that does explain why you’re so knowledgeable about literacy. Black assets.rebelmouse.io But, reading information is very different from being at the forefront of literacy innovation. And, if we had never met Jackie, I never would have realized that literacy is more than the dictionary definition and encompasses more than just reading and writing. red headassets.rebelmouse.io But that alone is such a critical part of all our lives and can make the difference between struggling and succeeding. Although I never stopped to think about any of that before we met Jackie. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io The funny thing is we first met her because of financial literacy. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Yes, and I remember wondering why you decided we should go to a Houston Money Week meeting. And while our book was approved as a financial literacy textbook by the Texas State Board of Education, I still didn’t think we were qualified to talk about the topic. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io But, we did go. And, we met Jackie. red headassets.rebelmouse.io That’s something I’ll never forget. I remember I let you do the talking when “newbies” had to introduce themselves, or I’d have talked their ears off. After the meeting, this confident yet very approachable woman came striding across the room, extended her hand to me, and introduced herself. At the time, she was Literacy Coordinator at EastSide University. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io All I remember was her energy, commitment, and passion for financial literacy. Not usually a topic discussed with such enthusiasm. red headassets.rebelmouse.io There’s an understatement. And not only did it take me by surprise, but I hate to admit it, it was contagious. Especially once we started working with her. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Another confession? red headassets.rebelmouse.io Maybe. Looking back, I still shake my head in amazement at the incredibly creative ways she made personal finance, typically such a “boring” topic, come alive. And how she used outside-the-box approaches to make learning relevant. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io And, fun. I still cannot believe she was able to turn something as basic as one of our bookmarks into an hour-long interactive class — using it not only to get conversation going, but also to introduce critical life skills. red headassets.rebelmouse.io I can’t believe how she incorporates our animated “teasers” into her literacy presentations. Using them to make a point in a light-hearted and fun way. Even if it points out how I was a poster child for not being “literate” when it comes to an assortment of life topics. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I dislike the term “literacy” because it makes people feel like they are “illiterate” when they do not know something. In reality, they may never have been exposed to the information or given an opportunity to learn it. red headassets.rebelmouse.io I can tell you firsthand that initially I felt stupid, until you pointed out I was merely sheltered. But that’s given me so much more empathy when I think of other people in the same position I once was. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Which is why she had us do an assortment of “Conversation Starters” for various literacy topics that she uses — ranging from where this all started — financial literacy — to digital literacy, health literacy, and even news literacy and environmental literacy. To make the topics accessible in a non-threatening way. red headassets.rebelmouse.io All I know is that she made me realize that literacy impacts every aspect of our lives. And it has an amazing ripple effect, as it then lets us share our knowledge with our families. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io You forgot to mention that Jackie made us aware that September is National Literacy Month, although I am not sure it highlights the full extent of the concept of literacy. But, anything that raises awareness is important. red headassets.rebelmouse.io I know it’s changed my life in many ways. And not only in terms of Red & Black, although being able to help her, albeit in a small way, help give people the desire, the confidence, the motivation, to learn is something I’ll always be grateful to Jackie for. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Since we are strolling down memory lane, I cannot believe you did not mention how working with Jackie all these years has led to a deep respect for her and the friendship that has developed. red headassets.rebelmouse.io So, are you going to confess that you can be warm and fuzzy? Black assets.rebelmouse.io Never. I was merely stating facts. P.S. – Jackie continues to put her extensive experience in adult education and literacy to work in a variety of ways. Want to learn more about what she’s doing or connect with her? Find her on LinkedIn or contact her at jagEDsolutions@outlook.com. --- ### A Perfect Day For A Convertible. And For Chutzpah. **Published:** September 12, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Words & Banter **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/ferrari-perfect-day-convertible-chutzpah-2655206506.html.md assets.rebelmouse.io The last few days have been beautiful fall weather, and I can't help but wonder — do you ever miss having your Ferrari convertible? Black assets.rebelmouse.io Although some days are perfect convertible weather, given that I barely drove it the last few years I owned it, averaging less than 50 miles a year, I can honestly say, "No." In fact, I cannot even remember the last time I drove it. assets.rebelmouse.io I can't help you with that, but I'll never forget the last day we taught at KIPP Houston High School, and you drove it there. You should have seen the students' faces as you were lowering the top on it. Black assets.rebelmouse.io Funny thing is, I never took the car to KIPP because I did not want anyone to think I was showing off, but I forgot how exciting it is for motorheads to see special cars — whether new or vintage. assets.rebelmouse.io I doubt everyone crowding around your car was a motorhead, but they certainly were excited to see it. Boys AND girls! At the risk of sounding warm and fuzzy, I think the fact you not only drove a Ferrari, but also raced them, gave the girls a feeling of empowerment that they really can do anything. Black assets.rebelmouse.io I guess because I always worked in male-dominated industries, I got used to being the "token" woman. Regardless, I never look at things as being gender-specific. assets.rebelmouse.io That's because you never look at anything like the rest of the world does, or at least most people do. A perfect example of that is you giving Juan a ride in the Ferrari. I doubt many people would have done that. Black assets.rebelmouse.io It seemed only fair since he tried to make a "deal" with me the day before — a hand of poker or even a flip of a coin. If he wins, he gets a ride in the Ferrari. If I win, he will be my slave for a day. Giving him a ride in the car was a reward for having the chutzpah to try to make a deal with me. And, in the two years we taught at KIPP, of the over 200 students who took our Personal Finance & Life 101 class, he was the only one ever to do that. assets.rebelmouse.io I'll never forget how you also told them that although it may not be the proper definition for the Yiddish word "chutzpah," the real-life definition is "having balls." Black assets.rebelmouse.io How else would you explain it? assets.rebelmouse.io You should know, as many people have used that word to describe you. And it was consistent with the lesson we taught them about how you "confronted" Bob Weinstein (of the movie-producing Weinstein Brothers) at a conference in New York. (Granted, it was well before the #MeToo scandal.) You realized you had nothing to lose, not to mention you were well prepared. Black assets.rebelmouse.io In most scenarios, if you do not ask for something, you will not receive it. So, what is the risk of asking? Someone may say "no"? The way I see it, you are no worse off than before you asked. So, in reality, there is no downside risk, but there IS upside potential. They may say "yes." Red assets.rebelmouse.io True. And I laughed, although I wasn't surprised when everyone else started asking for a ride in the Ferrari! Black assets.rebelmouse.io Except Juan did not just ask for a ride. He tried to negotiate a deal. He structured it so that there was an upside for me if he lost the bet, which obviously would be the downside for him. But, what impressed me the most was that he was proactive and took a chance, albeit a long shot, to get something he wanted. assets.rebelmouse.io And given the smile on his face when you drove off, it obviously paid off. I bet, even though it has been many years, it's something he's never forgotten. Black assets.rebelmouse.io The lesson or the ride in the Ferrari? assets.rebelmouse.io Both. And I will go out on a limb and say I bet many of the kids standing around the car when you told Juan to jump in, and then explained why, may also remember not only that day but the importance of the lesson. Black assets.rebelmouse.io Then, it was a perfect day for a convertible ride. --- ### Our FREE quick-to read book - older **Published:** September 10, 2026 | **Author:** Red and Black Editorial Team | **Section:** General **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/our-free-quick-to-read-book-older-2677844047.html.md Quick, actionable, memorable advice using car analogies from the first woman to race to road course of Indianapolis Motor Speedway. START YOUR PIT STOP → --- ### Labor Away On Labor Day? **Published:** September 7, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Banter Bites **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/labor-away-on-labor-day-2647490965.html.md Labor Day celebrates the American worker. However you may celebrate, we wish you a Happy Labor Day! --- ### National Literacy Month: Life, Literacy, And The Pursuit Of … Making A Difference **Published:** September 3, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Memory Lane **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/life-literacy-making-a-difference-2677804633.html.md Every time we meet with Jackie Aguilera, we’re still in awe of her expertise and experience in adult education. She continues to bring creativity and passion to her students, while also raising awareness that literacy is about so much more than reading and writing. September is National Literacy Month, so we’re re-running this post because it’s even more relevant today than when it was first written. Although we have an update: Jackie’s no longer with the Mayor’s Office of Adult Literacy, but given the high demand for her expertise, we wonder if she’s going to take a position with another entity or share her knowledge as a consultant. Regardless, we know she’ll remain a bright light in the world of adult education. red headassets.rebelmouse.io I have a confession to make, which I’m sure will make you roll your eyes. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Interesting caveat and probably true. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Every time we meet with Jackie (Aguilera) from the Mayor’s Office of Adult Literacy and hear what she’s doing in the world of adult education, I feel like I’m back in school and having to take copious notes. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I am more than happy to send you “homework assignments” as I come across relevant articles and research. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll stick to taking notes. But that does explain why you’re so knowledgeable about literacy. Black assets.rebelmouse.io But, reading information is very different from being at the forefront of literacy innovation. And, if we had never met Jackie, I never would have realized how literacy is more than the dictionary definition, and encompasses more than just reading and writing. red headassets.rebelmouse.io But that alone is such a critical part of all of our lives and can make the difference between struggling and success. Although I never stopped to think about any of that before we met Jackie. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io The funny thing is we first met her because of financial literacy. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Yes, and I remember wondering why you decided we should go to a Houston Money Week meeting. And while our book was approved as a financial literacy textbook by the (Texas) State Board of Education, I still didn’t think we were qualified to talk about the topic. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io But, we did go. And, we met Jackie. red headassets.rebelmouse.io That’s something I’ll never forget. I remember I let you do the talking when “newbies” had to introduce themselves, or I’d have talked their ears off. After the meeting, this confident but very approachable woman came striding across the room, extended her hand to me, and introduced herself. At the time, she was Literacy Coordinator at EastSide University. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io All I remember was her energy, commitment, and passion for financial literacy. Not usually a topic discussed with such enthusiasm. red headassets.rebelmouse.io There’s an understatement. And not only did it take me by surprise, but I hate to admit it, it was contagious. Especially once we started working with her. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Another confession? red headassets.rebelmouse.io Maybe. Looking back, I still shake my head in amazement at the incredibly creative ways she made personal finance, typically such a “boring” topic, come alive. And how she used outside-the-box approaches to making learning relevant. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io And, fun. I still cannot believe she was able to turn something as basic as one of our bookmarks into an hour-long interactive class – using it to not only get conversation going, but to introduce critical life skills. red headassets.rebelmouse.io I can’t believe how she incorporates our animated “teasers” into her literacy presentations. Using them to make a point in a light-hearted and fun way. Even if it points out how I was a poster child for not being “literate” when it comes to an assortment of life topics. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I dislike the term “literacy” because it makes people feel like they are “illiterate” when they do not know something. In reality, they may never have been exposed to the information or given an opportunity to learn it. red headassets.rebelmouse.io I can tell you first-hand that initially I felt stupid, until you pointed out I was merely sheltered. But that’s given me so much more empathy when I think of other people in the same position I once was. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Which is why she had us do an assortment of “ConversationStarters” for various literacy topics that she uses – ranging from where this all started – financial literacy – to digital literacy, health literacy, and even news literacy and environmental literacy. To make the topics accessible in a non-threatening way. red headassets.rebelmouse.io All I know is that she made me realize that literacy impacts every aspect of our lives. And it has an amazing ripple effect as it then lets us share our knowledge with our families. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io You forgot to mention that Jackie made us aware of National Literacy Month, although I am not sure it highlights the full extent of the concept of literacy. But, anything that raises awareness is important. red headassets.rebelmouse.io I know it’s changed my life in many ways. And not only in terms of Red & Black, although being able to help her, albeit in a small way, help give people the desire, the confidence, the motivation, to learn is something I’ll always be grateful to Jackie for. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Since we are strolling down memory lane, I cannot believe you did not mention how working with Jackie all these years has led to a deep respect for her and the friendship that has developed. red headassets.rebelmouse.io So, are you going to confess that you can be warm and fuzzy? Black assets.rebelmouse.io Never. I was merely stating facts. --- ### Come Hell Or High Water … Or Both? **Published:** August 26, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Words & Banter **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/ptsd-high-water-stress-empathy-2672441556.html.md red headassets.rebelmouse.io I love how The Eyewall newsletter keeps an eye (pun intended) on tropical activity in the Atlantic Ocean, Caribbean Sea, and Gulf of Mexico. Not only is it a great “no hype” analysis of what’s going on, but it really helps me deal with the prospect of any bad storms hitting Houston. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io You definitely watch the weather more than I do. But, I know that is because you have an extreme “fear” (or however you want to describe it) of driving in heavy rain and potentially facing road flooding. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Borderline terror. Thanks to you. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Me? I thought I was the one who taught you what to do when encountering high water. red headassets.rebelmouse.io You did. But only after you got me into the situation in the first place! It had already been raining heavily when we each arrived at that meeting near my house. Afterward, although I preferred to go straight home, you thought it’d be ok for us to keep to the original plan of me following you into Houston. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io At the time, it didn’t seem that bad, just rain. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Says the woman in the Mercedes G-Wagon who sits high above cars and even other SUVs. Anyway, I can still remember it like it was yesterday … the rain’s pounding down, you’re behind me, we’re talking on the phone about the meeting, and suddenly you go from your normal conversational tone to sounding like what I imagine an air traffic controller would be like — very measured, very direct, very non-emotional. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I needed you to pay attention. I could see you were about to hit high water, and I knew my instructions would go against your natural instincts. You needed to keep giving the car gas, but ease up on the accelerator and, no matter what, not brake. red headassets.rebelmouse.io And gently “steer” around the cars you could see were stalled out in front of me. Then, you told me to keep saying these words out loud ... “keep it going, keep it going, keep it going.” And then you hung up on me. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I knew there was nowhere for you to pull over, and you were frightened. But, by giving you a “mantra” to say out loud, I hoped to focus you on the most critical thing you needed to do. I did not have the time to explain that keeping your foot on the gas, even if just a little, kept you moving forward and prevented water from entering the engine through the exhaust (tail) pipe. I could see past the water and knew you just needed to get through it to reach higher ground. red headassets.rebelmouse.io I felt like I was driving a bumper car at a carnival, trying to avoid all the other cars. Finally, a few minutes later, although it felt like an eternity, I was able to park on high ground. Where I stayed for hours, waiting for the water to recede so I could get home. Ever since, whenever I’m on the road during storms, I feel like I have a form of PTSD. Although I probably shouldn’t say that because it’s unfair to those, especially veterans, who truly have PTSD. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I understand you do not want to seem like you are diminishing the seriousness of PTSD, but you may have a mild form of it. However, I am not qualified to diagnose it. Nor do I know enough about it to speak intelligently. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Just the thought of high water is traumatic and causes me extreme stress. It’s an overwhelming feeling of not having control of a situation that could quickly become a life-or-death scenario. I can’t even imagine what soldiers must feel after seeing combat. They have to face battle day after day, month after month. And, often, year after year. And then they come home and often must fight an entirely different battle. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Not all people exposed to traumatic events develop PTSD, but they are more susceptible. In addition to combat exposure, events such as physical abuse or assault, sexual violence, mass shootings, natural disasters … it is a long list. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Wow, I never thought about it that way. Even more reason that we all need to be more sympathetic. And while I appreciate that we may not know the details of their story or situation, it shouldn’t stop us from being kind and understanding first, rather than immediately judging someone. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Technically, I think you mean empathetic. Regardless, we can all learn more about PTSD. And, mental illness. No one should ever have to suffer alone. We should let family and friends know that it is ok to not always be ok. And, that we are there if they need us. But, remember to always ask for permission before offering help or advice, and respect their wishes if they decline. red headassets.rebelmouse.io For someone whose default is being sarcastic, that was very warm and fuzzy. And calming. Similar to when you got me through that high water. And now, I know to recognize my fear, do my best to avoid situations that will trigger me, and, if unavoidable, find a mantra and try to stay calm. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Oh, and trust your instincts. Your gut told you not to go to Houston with me. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Now you tell me! --- ### Red & Black Connection Collection **Published:** August 20, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** General **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/red-black-connection-collection-2677730587.html.md ***** WORKING DRAFT ***** THIS IS A CURATED COLLECTION AND TBD HOW EACH PARTICLE IS USED Still playing with formatting Copy is first pass Images are from linked posts & are subject to change NOTE: Red font is not available in particles Being connected technologically is not the same as being connected personally. Technology lets us work almost anywhere, communicate instantly, and collaborate with people we may never meet in person. But working independently doesn't mean you have to feel alone. For those of you who don't know us (yet!), Red is not only a warm and fuzzy mom, but she represents the person who wants connection and conversation. Black, a highly pragmatic (and often sarcastic) retired corporate executive who started racing Porsches and Ferraris to offset boredom (we only mention that because she can't help but use car and racing analogies) represents the extremely independent person who thinks, "I am fine. I will figure this out." However, connection does not mean everyone needs to be outgoing, talkative, or constantly social. Some people thrive working quietly and independently. The issue is not how much someone talks. It is whether people feel seen, heard, supported, and comfortable reaching out when they need someone. Red & Black Connection is a collection of stories, videos, conversation starters, and simple reminders we've created over the years about communication, listening, empathy, teamwork, stress, and asking for help. We're not mental-health professionals, and these resources aren't intended to replace professional support. They're simply meant to help us do something very human (although Red does think Black's a Vulcan): Pay attention to one another. --- ### Life ... No Instructions But A List **Published:** August 20, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Learning For Life **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/life-doesnt-come-with-instructions-2677249864.html.md Wouldn’t it be great if life came with instructions? Since it doesn’t, we thought a few good reminders could help … so we created this list. For those who know us, it won’t come as any surprise that we each approach almost everything differently. But after decades of comparing notes, debating decisions, and occasionally driving each other crazy, we’ve learned a few things about getting through life. Consider this list our practical, slightly (ok, maybe more than slightly) opinionated guide to approaching life. Use it, tweak it, or trash it. The choice is yours. Start somewhere You don’t need the perfect plan, you need a first step Ask why It’s Black’s favorite question — and where better decisions begin Look at things “another way” Red and Black almost always do Don’t confuse feelings with facts Both matter, but they aren’t the same thing Use what helps — ignore what doesn’t Advice, like shoes, is not one-size-fits-all Talk about it (with someone you trust to listen, be honest, and not judge) Sometimes saying something out loud helps you see it more clearly Make a list Not just because you love lists (that would be Red), but to help you focus Expect things to change The goal may stay the same even when the route changes Ask for help Others can’t help you if you don’t let them know you need it Keep moving forward A small step forward is still a step in the right direction Laugh when you can It may not change your situation, but it can make it easier to face Take control of what you can Accept that some things are not yours to fix Consider keeping this list handy … different moments call for different reminders. --- ### It Started With A Smoothie?! **Published:** August 19, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Words & Banter **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/red-and-black-jamba-juice-2646141250.html.md There’s a funny story behind this photo. And the man who took it. At the time, Kirby managed all the Jamba Juice locations in Houston, and Black had “accosted” him at one of them because we mentioned Jamba Juice in our book, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired! Then we ran into him at the Texas Conference for Women, where we were speaking, and Black mentioned that Jamba Juice was an important part of our presentation. That got his attention. Of course, he wanted to know more. Red looked at Black, wondering if she was actually going to tell him. The story was about Red, who would mindlessly stop at Jamba Juice and buy herself a smoothie and two smaller ones, one for each of her daughters. And this happened at least several times a week. One day, Red was on the phone with Black while driving to Jamba Juice, and Black nonchalantly asked how much she was spending there every week. Red had no idea. But she did know that she didn’t appreciate the question, so quickly ended the call. Then she did the math. And she didn’t like the number. But Black wasn’t telling Red not to buy the smoothies. She didn’t care how many smoothies Red bought. She just wanted Red to know where her money was going — and to make it a conscious decision. Or, as Black would say, Think before spending. Kirby thought the story was funny and later made a point of coming to our book signing, where he took this photo. And because Kirby is a brilliant marketer, whenever we did speaking engagements, he made sure we had coupons for free Jamba Juice smoothies to hand out. Which meant our lesson about thinking before spending came with free smoothies. Not a bad deal. --- ### Black Then. Black Now. **Published:** August 17, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Red & Black **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/black-2646144909.html.md Long before we had an ABOUT page, readers met Black through the back flap of our bestselling book, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!and Got Fired! But a lot has happened since Neiman Marcus launched our book, including countless Red & Black adventures and detours. Surprisingly, little about Black has changed. WHAT WE SAID THEN Black picked the photo, and our book editor summarized Black in about 80 words: Black is all business. With an MBA in international Finance, she retired before she was 40 from a successful career in the oil and gas industry. She has been involved with The Make-A-Wish Foundation for over 20 years and has raised over $1 million. But without a day job, her life did not provide enough excitement and challenge, so she began racing cars. Black, the ultimate pragmatic, lives in Houston where she approaches everything with high-speed intensity and determination. WHAT WE DIDN’T KNOW THEN … We knew Black was all business. We didn’t know that, instead of becoming the basis of a sitcom, our book would take us into the world of education … and then criminal justice. We knew racing would always be part of Black’s story. We didn’t know that her experiences racing Porsches and Ferraris would inspire countless car and racing analogies about navigating life. We knew Make-A-Wish mattered to her. We probably should have known that she would still be involved decades later, and that the amount she has raised would continue to grow (it’s now approaching $2 million). And we described Black as “the ultimate pragmatic.” Well, no update required. AND THERE’S A STORY BEHIND THE PHOTO … We have no shortage of stories, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that this isn’t just an ordinary photo. It was taken by artist and sculptor Fletcher Benton in 2003, when he came to cheer Black on during the Ferrari Challenge races at Infineon Raceway in Sonoma, California. So, how did an internationally recognized artist end up at one of Black’s races? Although neither of them knew it at the time, years earlier, Fletcher and Black had both been racing at the same Porsche event. But they didn’t actually meet until Black started collecting art and spotted his race car at his studio. And that may be the real story behind the photo — how so many seemingly separate parts of Black’s life have ended up connecting. A lot has changed since 2009. Black being Black isn’t one of those things. --- ### Real Sisters. Real Life. Real Stories. **Published:** August 16, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Red & Black **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/real-sisters-2646142895.html.md Cartoon says it all .... --- ### Red Then. Red Now. **Published:** August 16, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Words & Banter **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/red-the-warm-and-fuzzy-sister-2646144892.html.md Long before we had an ABOUT page, readers met Red not only through the back flap of our bestselling book, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, but because her crisis was the book’s title! But a lot has happened since Black turned her crisis into a book — a brand — a business. Including a lot of growing up. And Red? Still warm and fuzzy. Just a lot less sheltered. WHAT WE SAID THEN When we started working on the book, Red couldn’t find a photo of her and the girls, so they posed for one in the fall of 2004. Later, our book editor captured Red this way: After getting a degree in Theater Arts, Red moved back in with her parents until she married an outgoing Englishman and followed his career around the globe. Now she lives in Sugar Land, a suburban city on the outskirts of Houston, Texas. Red is a warm and fuzzy mom whose life revolves around her two red-headed girls. With Red, it's all about the feelings. WHAT WE DIDN’T KNOW THEN … We knew Red was used to letting others take the lead. We didn’t know that once she took control, she’d discover how much she was capable of. We knew her life revolved around her two red-headed girls. We didn’t know how much growing up was still ahead — for them and for Red. We knew Red had learned a lot when her husband got fired. We probably should have known she’d want to use what she learned to help others. And we described Red as “warm and fuzzy” and “all about the feelings. ”Still true. She’s just learned that sometimes warm and fuzzy isn’t enough. AND THERE’S A STORY BEHIND THE PHOTO … What makes this seemingly ordinary photo remarkable? Red’s in front of the camera! She was almost always the one behind the camera, so when we needed a photo of her for the book, it had to be staged. In fact, she’s not even sure who took the photo. At the time, it was simply a photo we needed. Looking at it now, it’s more than that. It captured Red in the middle of the life she’d always dreamed about — and when her girls were still young and being their mom was the center of her world. She knew they would grow up. She just didn’t know how quickly that picture would become a memory. A lot has changed since that photo was taken. Including Red. --- ### Comparing Red & Black **Published:** August 14, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Words & Banter **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/comparing-red-black-2649171043.html.md Same family. Very different approaches to life. Red is warm and fuzzy. Black is pragmatic and sarcastic. Red leads with her heart. Black leads with her head. Red wants to talk it through. Black wants to solve it. Red gives you the context. Black gives you the bottom line. Which sounds more like you? Which brings us to one of our favorite examples: When we had to explain the differences between us for the Introduction to What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, Red wrote pages with her usual blah-blah-blah. Black gave the book designer a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet. Funny thing is that over the years, readers have not only told us which of us they’re more like, but also gone so far as to identify the “Reds” and “Blacks” in their own families. We even had a few who nicknamed themselves (one was “Brown,” another was “Bald”). So, are you more like Red or Black? Or somewhere in between? --- ### A Boy. A Man. A Wish. **Published:** August 11, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** General **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/a-boy-a-man-makeawish-2653755673.html.md We first shared this in 2021, and we’ll continue sharing it because — one little boy had a wish, and no one could have imagined where it would lead … assets.rebelmouse.io I have a confession. Although you've been involved with Make-A-Wish for decades and told me countless wish stories, I've never been moved to tears. Until this weekend. Black assets.rebelmouse.io Why? It is not like you were at Tommy Austin's 80th birthday celebration on Saturday. Almost none of the speakers could get through their comments without crying. As you know, there would be no Make-A-Wish without Tommy, as it all started back in 1980, when he wanted to do something special for Chris Greicius, a 7-year-old boy who was battling leukemia and wanted to be a police officer. assets.rebelmouse.io Those are the facts, yes. But when you invited Sawyer to join you, and emailed us the link to the story that inspired the Make-A-Wish video, it sat in my inbox until Saturday afternoon. I was clearing emails and found it, and thought it was a good time to watch it, especially since I knew you were at the party. And that's when the facts of Make-A-Wish became something so much more. Black assets.rebelmouse.io You may have been watching it at the same time we were, as they used it to open the tribute to Tommy. I have known him for decades, so am very familiar with the story, but it is a powerful reminder of how people came together to grant a young boy his wish, and how that single wish touched so many lives. assets.rebelmouse.io Yes, the ripple effect it created was truly amazing, as it led to the creation of The Make-A-Wish Foundation. But what brought me to tears, and made me go through more tissues than I'd care to admit, were the words of Chris's mother, "This was something I was totally helpless to do, but Tom was able to pull it off with help from others." Black assets.rebelmouse.io I cannot imagine the helplessness a parent must feel when their child has a serious illness. assets.rebelmouse.io Trust me, hearing those words made my heart hurt. But I smiled when one of the other founders explained that after Chris had passed, with his wish having been fulfilled beyond his wildest dreams, everyone involved looked at each other and said, "There are more children out there; let's go find them," and how it snowballed from there. It made me want to cheer and shout, "Yes!" Black assets.rebelmouse.io "Snowballed" is an understatement. Now, 41 years later, Make-A-Wish has made such a huge difference … granting more than 500,000 wishes, with chapters around the world … and bringing hope and joy to the wish kids and their families. assets.rebelmouse.io I can't begin to imagine how proud Tommy Austin must be to know that his simple desire to make one boy a little happier would lead to so much more. Black assets.rebelmouse.io The word I would use is "humble," as Tommy believes he is merely the messenger and refuses to take any credit, explaining he was only trying to make Chris' life better. But, there was a room full of people who saw it differently, and told heartwarming stories about Tommy. assets.rebelmouse.io It sounds like it was the best 80th birthday party ever, and he certainly deserved it. Black assets.rebelmouse.io It was so much more. And, we surprised him by announcing that, in honor of his 80th birthday, The Make-A-Wish Texas Gulf Coast & Louisiana had created a "Circle of 80" to kick off the Tommy Austin Wish Fund. assets.rebelmouse.io That's so perfect. Although I've never met him, from watching the video I think that the best gift one could give Tommy would be to help grant the wish of a Make-A-Wish child. For that matter, it may be one of the greatest gifts any one of us could give … Whether it's becoming involved with a local Make-A-Wish chapter or simply by making a donation … never underestimate the power of a wish! --- ### A Legacy That Keeps Building **Published:** August 11, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** General **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/teri-andrepont-building-dedication-video-2677674701.html.md What does it take to build a legacy? Not a building. An organization. And a leader with passion. In 1991, Make-A-Wish of the Texas Gulf Coast (before it included Louisiana) was a young organization facing an uncertain future. Then Teri Andrepont became its CEO, and the chapter grew to be one of the most successful in the nation. Twenty-nine years and thousands of wishes later, she made the difficult decision to retire. How would we ever thank her? The chapter had recently moved into a new building, and the Board unanimously decided to name it in Teri’s honor. This video was created for the building dedication in 2022, and Black was one of the people asked to help tell Teri’s story. Why? Because Teri’s passion for Make-A-Wish was contagious — Black caught it early in Teri’s tenure and has served the organization for more than 30 years as a board member and advisor, a relationship that continues today. Black assets.rebelmouse.io A legacy is not just what you build. It is what drives others to keep building. --- ### Finding Balance … With A Traffic Light? **Published:** August 11, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Words & Banter **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/finding-balance-traffic-light-2650438521.html.md Red assets.rebelmouse.io I know everyone’s always trying to find balance in their life. I thought becoming an empty nester would make that easier, but apparently not. The girls may be grown, but being a mom doesn’t end when your children move out. Between them, Red & Black, and my seemingly endless lists of things to do, I still struggle. Black assets.rebelmouse.io And, as I am a die-hard workaholic who admits to not having a life, you think I have the answer? Red assets.rebelmouse.io Excellent point. Never mind. Black assets.rebelmouse.io However, I do have some suggestions … although I will preface it with, "Do as I say, not as I do." Red assets.rebelmouse.io At this point, I'll take whatever help I can get. Black assets.rebelmouse.io Sometimes you need to make a conscious effort to stay present. And, by that I mean appreciate what is happening now instead of thinking about what is next. Or, reminiscing about the past. Red assets.rebelmouse.io That sounds good, but it also sounds overly simplistic, not to mention highly optimistic. And where would I even start? Black assets.rebelmouse.io Easy. It really is as simple as 1 – 2 – 3. Red assets.rebelmouse.io Nothing's that simple. Black assets.rebelmouse.io 1. SLOW down and look around 2. STOP using your gizmo and consider putting it away 3. GO spend time with family or friends, or steal some "alone time" Red assets.rebelmouse.io Actually, that does sound simple. Now I just have to remember to SLOW – STOP –GO. Black assets.rebelmouse.io Just imagine a traffic light. Plus, it would have the added benefit of every time you see a real traffic light, it will remind you to SLOW –STOP – GO. Red assets.rebelmouse.io I should've known there'd be a car or driving analogy in there somewhere. Black assets.rebelmouse.io Throttle on ... --- ### A Building Needs A Strong Foundation **Published:** August 11, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Words & Banter **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/make-a-wish-building-foundation-2658346567.html.md Never underestimate the difference one person can make. For Black, one extraordinary Make-A-Wish leader proved it — not only by transforming an organization, but by inspiring everyone around her. Black included. This was originally posted in 2022, but bears repeating … red headassets.rebelmouse.io I know that you’ve been involved with Make-A-Wish for decades, and it’s an amazing organization, but I’m not sure why you made such a big deal about the recent Texas Gulf Coast & Louisiana chapter’s dedication of its building. I appreciate that you were part of the planning group, but with all due respect, it’s just a building. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I don’t expect you to remember that it all started in 1980 when Tommy Austin wanted to do something special for a young boy, Chris Greicius, who was battling leukemia and wanted to be a policeman. That wish became a reality and the start of The Make-A-Wish Foundation. red headassets.rebelmouse.io That story has always inspired me as it makes you realize the difference that just one person can make. But the building wasn’t named after Chris or Tommy, so I’m still confused. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io You just said it yourself. Because one person CAN make a difference. The building is now officially named afterTeresa “Teri” Andrepont because when she was hired as President and CEO, our chapter was a fledgling organization — not only struggling financially, but its future was uncertain. Fast forward 29 years to when Teri retired, and we were one of the most successful chapters in the nation, maybe the world. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Wow, talk about a dedication being made because of one individual’s incredible dedication. Pun intended! But it helps that Make-A-Wish is such a well-known and highly respected charity, although I realize that might not have been the case when she started. Regardless, it gave her the opportunity to have a wonderful career. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I joined the Board not long after she was hired and have been involved ever since. This was not a career for Teri — but a passion and personal commitment. She was more than a leader; she was a visionary. She not only saw the power of a wish, but also how Make-A-Wish could be an important part of the community. And, it was contagious. red headassets.rebelmouse.io I’ve always wondered where your passion for Make-A-Wish came from. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io It may have started at a golf tournament benefiting Make-A-Wish, but it was Teri’s passion and unwavering dedication that made us all want to do everything we could to support her. red headassets.rebelmouse.io OK, I know it’s an understatement to say you have a strong personality, but I can’t help but wonder if there were ever times you disagreed with Teri or wanted to suggest different ways of doing things. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I never have a shortage of ideas or suggestions. Or even questions. What I always respected about Teri is she would hear me out (and vice versa), and I knew she always did what she genuinely felt was best for the chapter. But, as you have heard me say many times, many roads can take you to your final destination. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Oh yes, I have. And clearly, yours and Teri’s goal was the same … to make the chapter as successful as possible and to grant as many wishes as possible. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Exactly. At first, it meant getting the chapter out of debt. I will never forget the Board meeting when Teri was concerned that she could not meet payroll. And, we only had a few employees. I remember that every time I look at our financials, and although we are on solid footing, it is important to remember our humble beginnings and what it took to get here. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Looking at the chapter now, it’s hard even to imagine things were ever that dire. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I know. But, that is because of Teri. And, it did not happen overnight. As we grew, so did our need for more office space. We started in a small donated office in the west part of Houston, and later we bought a small home we called “the cottage” near the Medical Center. When we outgrew that, Teri found our current building, which was once an Ethan Allen furniture store. red headassets.rebelmouse.io I love the layout of that building and walking through it. Each different area tells stories of hope and joy, especially the “Bald is beautiful” wall. But I can’t imagine how you decide which wishes to feature. There must be thousands of them. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io We are quickly approaching 10,000 wishes, of which 8,261 were granted under Teri’s leadership. But, there are 250 wishes that truly impress me. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Seriously? You keep track of that? Blackassets.rebelmouse.io No. When we started working on the building dedication, I learned something new about Teri. During the 29 years she was our CEO and President, Teri and her husband, Jim, volunteered to grant 250 wishes. red headassets.rebelmouse.io So, that’s on top of everything else she did?! I think that says it all. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io And, explains why the building is dedicated to her. So, do you still think it is just a building? P.S. – Watch the video in honor of the building dedication and decide for yourself. And if you're curious where Black's passion for Make-A-Wish started, click here. --- ### You Can’t Put A Price Tag On A Garage Sale? **Published:** August 6, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Words & Banter **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/guess-why-garage-sales-priceless-2673857988.html.md Did you know that Saturday is National Garage Sale Day? (Yes, that’s a real thing.) But no matter the reason for a garage sale — whether to get rid of things you’re not using anymore, an attempt to declutter, or estate sale “leftovers” — they can be about so much more than just “stuff”. Something Red learned a few years ago when our mom passed ... Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Thanks for the accounting of your garage sale. But, given how many hours you spent preparing for it, and then the actual sale itself, did you calculate how much you “earned” on a $/hour basis? red headassets.rebelmouse.io No, all I know is that it seemed to take forever to go through everything in Mom’s house and decide what to keep, what to sell, what to donate. And what to trash. As far as the garage sale, I’ll give you your half the next time I see you. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Keep my half. You did all the work. I did not even offer to help. red headassets.rebelmouse.io And that was a big help. Thank you. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Obviously, you must be exhausted because you are making no sense. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Sorry, but I have a specific way of running garage sales, and the last thing I needed was another “cook in the kitchen”. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Not a good analogy, as “cook” is a four-letter word that I do not use. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Cute. But seriously, I knew if I had asked you to help, you would’ve. But I can only imagine how you’d have reacted when you first saw all the stuff for sale. Especially as I treat garage sales as a way to get rid of items that I know have very little value. I’m not trying to maximize the money I make; I’m just trying to make the stuff “go away”. In fact, I don’t even put prices on them. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io That all makes sense. Except for not having everything pre-priced. That would drive me crazy. How do you know what to charge people? red headassets.rebelmouse.io It’s an experience thing and another reason why I didn’t ask you to help. I have a sense of prices, but not something I could quantify in advance. When someone arrives, I tell them that everything’s cheap and give them an example. They usually look at me like, “Wow, she means it.” And then I tell them to collect what they want and that I promise to give them a good price. And I do. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Is that why you and Mom never had joint garage sales? I cannot imagine she would let you determine prices on the spot. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Actually, she’s the one who “taught” me not to price things. That if someone picks up something or you see them looking at it, they’re interested. And that’s all you need to know. Where we differed was in how much to charge. To her, it was fun, but also a way to make money. To me, a garage sale isn’t my retirement account. It’s my way to get rid of stuff, especially big, bulky stuff. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io In other words, people are paying you to haul off your trash. Or, save you trips taking stuff to your local thrift stores. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Exactly. Although I still take a lot of items to thrift stores that would probably sell for a decent price at a garage sale because I believe in what they’re doing, and I know that my donations make a difference. But I forgot how fun a garage sale can be, meeting people and laughing, just making connections, and knowing that someone will now enjoy and/or use your things. Or, in this case, Mom’s things. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Is there a particular age group that came to your garage sale? red headassets.rebelmouse.io It was truly a mix of people. Not counting the kids tagging along with their parents, which reminded me of when the girls would set up a lemonade stand to benefit Make-A-Wish at my garage sales years ago, they ranged from 20-somethings to senior citizens. But I’m almost afraid to ask why you asked. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I will not get into studies and statistics, but younger people are really into the environment and reusing older things, especially clothing (which is one of the three “new” R’s – reduce– reuse – recycle). So, garage sales, along with thrift stores, are becoming more popular than ever. red headassets.rebelmouse.io I love it! And the idea of so many of Mom’s things, now that she’s passed, will get to live on and be enjoyed by others. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io At the risk of sounding like a MasterCard commercial, there are some things that money cannot buy. Like sentimental value and fond memories. red headassets.rebelmouse.io I know. Which is why the process of sorting everything was so time-consuming. Interestingly, when that came up in conversation during the garage sale, so many people could relate and then shared their own stories. It was as if they wanted me to know that Mom’s things were getting a good home. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Well, if you add that to the cash you made, it sounds like a very successful garage sale. Hopefully, the next sale, being an estate sale with larger and higher-priced items, will be as successful. And, although I tried to get you to use a professional “estate sale” company that would do everything for you, I am beginning to understand why you decided to do it yourself. red headassets.rebelmouse.io The hardest part was culling and organizing, and there was no way I’d let strangers go through all of Mom’s things. And the internet makes “advertising” the sale and posting items online very easy. All in all, there’s no reason we can’t do it ourselves. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io We?! red headassets.rebelmouse.io Yes, because your ability to combine photos into a single image and correct my grammar is important. But your spreadsheets will be critical. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Now, that I can do. --- ### Think That AI Can Think for Us? **Published:** July 29, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** General **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/is-artificial-intelligence-real-2660557287.html.md Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking. red head assets.rebelmouse.io I’ll admit that I hate technology and prefer to keep my ostrich head in the sand. But although I’ve slowly gotten better and try not to immediately default into freakout mode, all this talk about AI not only confuses me but scares me. It reminds me of the 1968 movie “2001 A Space Odyssey," the computer named HAL, and the potential for machines to help us or harm us. (Yes, I’m being a bit dramatic, but then again, maybe not …) We've talked about how AI could help solve some of the world’s most challenging problems, like cancer. But wherever there’s opportunity for good, there can also be bad actors. And it’s all happening so incredibly fast, which makes it even more overwhelming. If I'm being honest, I really don't want to have to understand it, let alone learn how to use it. Black assets.rebelmouse.io Dear Ostrich, AI is already embedded in things we use every day, from spam filters and driving routes to editing photos taken on our smartphones. What has changed is that it is far more visible and can do so much more. I have been playing with it for years and, yes, it is a powerful tool — for good and evil. Which is exactly why people cannot stop thinking for themselves. AI may be able to generate an answer, but we still have to ask the questions and decide whether the answer is accurate, relevant, and worth acting on. Even if you choose not to use AI, you need to understand enough to question what you see, hear, and read. AI can be wrong and still sound very convincing because it can hallucinate. It can also be used intentionally to mislead. The more capable AI becomes, the more important independent thinking, critical thinking, and good judgment will become. And, knowing what AI can do — and, just as importantly, what it cannot do — is essential. THE CONVERSATION STARTERS Does AI scare or excite you? Why? What do you see as the greatest benefit of AI? The greatest risk? As AI changes the workplace, which human skills do you think will matter most, and why? How can you tell whether information created by AI is accurate and trustworthy? --- ### A Conversation About Conversation Starters **Published:** July 27, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Learning For Life **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/a-conversation-about-conversations-2677274966.html.md Sometimes, the hardest part of a meaningful conversation is simply getting started ... Red assets.rebelmouse.io I love that people told us they were using our sisterly banter to start conversations with family, friends, coworkers, and even in classrooms. But I had to laugh when you then decided to create an assortment of CONVERSATION STARTERS. Black assets.rebelmouse.io It seemed logical to me. Begin with us looking at a real-life topic and providing our very different (to put it mildly) perspectives. Then, provide a few questions to help continue the conversation, consider other viewpoints, and perhaps learn something new. About the topic and one another. Red assets.rebelmouse.io The best part is that there are no “right” or “wrong” answers. You may not agree, but you can still listen, be polite, and respect differing viewpoints and opinions. The point is to … Stop, think, listen, and talk. Red & Black Conversation Starters … Pick a topic. Read the banter. Choose a question that interests you. Or create your own. The questions are simply there to get the conversation started — where it goes from there is up to you. P.S. – Readers are telling us that our weekly newsletters are getting them thinking, talking, and even laughing. But don’t take our word for it, sign up at the bottom of this page and see for yourself! --- ### Technology — Love It Or Hate It … But Need It **Published:** July 27, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Learning For Life **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/digital-literacy-love-hate-need-2655061724.html.md Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking. assets.rebelmouse.io When I first heard the term "digital literacy," I wasn't exactly sure what it meant, but I'll admit that I feel like a dinosaur when it comes to technology, and usually turn to my daughters for help. I don't know if it's just generational, but I'm intimidated by my computer, and although I can do the basics, any time things go "wrong", I default into panic mode, followed by feeling lost and frustrated. And the thought of buying a new computer? Well, it gives me a headache — not only the cost but especially learning how to use it. And if I lose internet service, I feel disconnected from the world. (I guess that can sometimes be a good thing.) Then there's my cell phone, and I admit that smartphones often make me feel stupid. I remember when phones were landlines, and cordless was a big deal. Now I'm walking around with a small computer that also makes phone calls and takes photos. I've learned how to text, load some simple apps, and even how to set the alarm clock, but that's about it. Black assets.rebelmouse.io I know us "older" people think younger people are technology-savvy, but many are merely technology-dependent, which is very different. Technology is much more than access and setup. Being able to use computers, smartphones, and the internet covers a wide range of "basics" (such as emails and other communication tools, web browsers, and search engines), and there are specific computer skills that improve our productivity (such as word processing and spreadsheets). Plus, you often need web conferencing skills (like Zoom or other audio and video applications) to interview for a job. But, that is only the beginning. Since we live in a digital world, we need the skills to find and analyze information, and also make sure it is accurate and credible. (What is that adage, "Garbage in — garbage out"?) However, it is not only finding the right information, it is then knowing what to do with it. Including what and how to share. THE CONVERSATION STARTERS How would you describe digital literacy? What skills do you think are necessary to manage daily life? To be successful in the workplace? Why does using technology correctly seem so daunting? What do you think is the best way to learn about technology and become digitally literate? How do you decide whether online information is accurate and credible? P.S. – You might be interested in this animated video on Research & Analytical Skills we did as part of a soft skills series for The Greater Houston Partnership's UpSkill Houston initiative. --- ### To Change Minds … Change Your Approach? **Published:** July 27, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** General **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/change-someones-mind-change-approach-2654045385.html.md Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking. assets.rebelmouse.io People seem to disagree about everything these days. And instead of listening to one another, everyone seems determined to prove why they’re right. Growing up, and really until my crisis forced me to change (prompted by you, I might add), I’ve always preferred to avoid conflict. Still do. And most of the time, I can. But since you’re the “debate queen”, I’m curious. How do you change someone’s mind? I suppose you’re going to say it takes having all your facts and figures ready. Or as they used to say on the 1950s TV show Dragnet, "Just the facts, ma'am." Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Ironically, the key to changing someone’s mind may be closer to your natural tendencies than you realize. Start by listening, not correcting. Telling someone how wrong they are (or how right you are) is fun if you want to start a debate — but not if you genuinely want them to consider another point of view. And, yes, facts and figures matter, but most people find them intimidating and boring. (I know it makes your eyes glaze over.) Find out WHY they believe what they do. Look for something on which you agree. And then, explain your position and why — but not by reciting facts. We are a storytelling society. Facts may support your point, but stories are often what help people “feel it” and see the issue differently. THE CONVERSATION STARTERS Have you ever tried to change someone's mind? How did you approach it? Did it work? When you disagree with someone, do you begin by asking questions or explaining why you're right? Has anyone ever changed your mind? What made you willing to reconsider? Are you trying to change the other person's mind or simply win the argument? P.S. – You might be interested in our list of “7 Ways To Change Someone’s Mind.” --- ### My teenager's a slob and it’s driving me crazy ... and now they’re home for the summer. Help! **Published:** July 23, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Ask Red & Black **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/question-about-messy-teenagers-2653214107.html.md FULL QUESTION: My teenager's a slob and it's driving me crazy — their messy room, leaving dirty dishes all around the house, and the bathroom looking like a disaster area! And now they're home for the summer. Help! assets.rebelmouse.io Moms everywhere know exactly what you're talking about! And although people told me not to worry, this phase would pass, that didn't make it any better while I was in the midst of it. (I wish I had understood why teenagers have messy rooms and what I could have done to manage it better.) The good news was I was able to set expectations (and help maintain them) for the common areas of the house, but dealing with their rooms was very different. Especially with my eldest daughter, since nothing would work — not bribes, not threats, not rational conversations. I tried all the tips and "tricks" without success and eventually decided to stop nagging her because all it did was get me upset while she seemed perfectly content with the mess. At that point, I realized my primary concern was that I'd ultimately need an exterminator and/or plumber (for those of you who have lived through this, you understand), so I'd periodically go in and selectively clean that which would create problems for the rest of us. The rest I left alone. Hey, if she wanted to wear smelly clothing or have a bathroom that should be declared a national emergency zone, so be it. Black assets.rebelmouse.io I do not have children, but there was a time when I did have stepdaughters, and, not knowing what else to do, I decided to treat them like I would new employees. I knew employees basically wanted to please management, so I figured kids wanted to please their parents, and hopefully, stepparents. I created a "Rules of the House" document (small, basic, easy things), and most of them were things to do versus things not to do. I presented the rules as an opportunity for them to achieve and succeed, not as a set of restrictions. I always found it more effective with employees, and then with the girls (and even their father), to reinforce positive behavior rather than punish bad behavior. It can be as simple as a "thank you," complimenting them on their efforts, or even rewarding a job well done. It seemed to work, and along the way, improved communications and helped us set priorities. --- ### Sympathy? Empathy? There’s A Difference? **Published:** July 22, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Learning For Life **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/sympathy-empathy-theres-a-difference-2647794070.html.md Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking. Red assets.rebelmouse.io I know you don’t like to look back, but humor me. Years ago, when my husband got fired, do you remember how I struggled with having him home ALL the time, along with all the stress and emotions of the situation? And the fear of the unknown? Lately, I’ve been feeling some of those same emotions, but for very different reasons. I was a single mom for years, and now I’m an empty nester. But that doesn’t mean the girls no longer need me. Especially now that they’re “adulting”, because while the issues may be different, in some ways they’re even more important. And just because no one depends on me for day-to-day life doesn’t mean life is easier. Sometimes, when I’m tired or feeling overwhelmed, it feels as though I’m yet again trying to “hold it all together”. And before you say anything … I’m not asking for sympathy, because we all know you don’t “do” sympathy. Black assets.rebelmouse.io I do not think that you want sympathy. I think you want empathy. You want me, and others, to understand how you are feeling. Not to feel sorry for you. Your life has changed in major ways — the girls leaving home changed the role that had shaped so much of your daily life. Being single affects your support system. And, losing Mom, even if several years ago, left a void that does not simply disappear. The fact that you are “warm and fuzzy” only amplifies those feelings. Which makes everything even more challenging — for you and sometimes for those of us around you. THE CONVERSATION STARTERS What's the difference between sympathy and empathy? How do you know when someone wants help, empathy, or simply to be heard? Why might someone struggle during a stage of life others might assume should feel easier? --- ### Do It For Others. Do It For Yourself. **Published:** July 22, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Learning For Life **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/for-others-yourself-2649108942.html.md Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking. Red assets.rebelmouse.io I don't know the origins of #GivingTuesday, but it apparently gets bigger and bigger every year. And I'm not surprised. Having a day that makes you stop and think about others, and what you can do, whether it's a donation of money or time, is so powerful. Not only for the recipient, but for the giver, as there's nothing that compares with feeling you're helping to make a difference in the lives of others. Black assets.rebelmouse.io As I have often said, my decades-long involvement with The Make-A-Wish Foundation does far more for me than I do for them. It is my reality check on life and my constant reminder of what is important. I may not be able to cure the kids, but the fact that I can make their lives, and their families' lives, a little better by helping grant wishes is the least — the very least — I can do in return. But, there are so many organizations that need help. And, not just in terms of money. THE CONVERSATION STARTERS If you can't afford to donate money to your favorite charities, what are other ways to give back? There are so many good causes and worthwhile charities that need help. How do you decide which to support? Obviously, donating to the causes you care about benefits the charities. But what positive effects can it have for you? --- ### The Fact Is ... Don't Use Facts **Published:** July 21, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Learning For Life **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/ways-to-change-someones-mind-2654853835.html.md When we talked about how to change other people's minds in To Change Minds … Change Your Approach?, Red was shocked to learn that Black, her highly pragmatic (albeit extremely sarcastic) sister, who often thinks of disagreements as sport, actually suggested using approaches that seemed more in keeping with Red's "style" as a warm and fuzzy mom, who goes out of her way to avoid conflict. Of course, that led to us talking (initially, Black thought Red just wanted to bask in the light of being right, but quickly realized that the straight-A student wanted to understand the approach better), and we ultimately created the following list because we both love lists. We don't think of this as a definitive list, but we agree that you can't go wrong using any/all of the following approaches or (as Black would say) strategies … whether you're trying to change someone's mind or simply better understand their position. R-E-S-P-E-C-T Aretha Franklin said it best … and respect should be part of everything we do. Everyday. Unfortunately, it seems to have gotten lost somewhere. It's ok to disagree, but if we'd treat one another with respect, we'd all be less defensive — and more open to understanding what we each think (and why). See Another Side It's human nature to trust people who are like us or who see things the same way we do, and it can be difficult to understand different perspectives. Too bad Aretha didn't sing E-M-P-A-T-H-Y, but there's a reason for the expressions, "Don't judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes" or "There are two sides to every story" (although Black will argue there are at least three, and often more). Want the best way to understand another person's perspective or opinion? Ask them. And then listen. Seek Common Ground Have you ever started talking with someone new and found you had something in common? Or have you ever been arguing with someone and suddenly found that you agree on something? Finding common ground can create a feeling of connection and comfort — sometimes even satisfaction or surprise. And even if it’s something small, that’s often enough to build on. So, look for it. Remember, You're Not In A Courtroom So often, when trying to change someone’s mind, the tendency is to present your case as if you’re in a court of law defending your position while shooting down the opposing side. Our mom used to take that to the extreme, to the point that Black would start conversations with her by saying, “You are right. I am wrong. What is the topic?” The problem is that rather than starting from a place where you might be able to meet in the middle, it immediately puts each side in an extreme position. And all we can say is … good luck with that. Leave A Way Out Have you ever been in a situation where you were certain you were right, and then during the conversation, realize that you might not have considered all the issues, or you may have been missing an important detail? Some people are better at dealing with that than others. (Black will merely say, "Fair enough.") Others will hold their ground because they're afraid they'll look stupid or weak if they "give in". If you're trying to change someone's mind, you need to make sure there's a graceful way for that to happen. Emotion Overrules Facts In fact (pun intended), changing someone's mind is one of the rare situations when Black believes that Red's warm-and-fuzzy approach may be more effective than her own Vulcan-like approach. People often make decisions emotionally and then evaluate the evidence. And often, once a decision's made, people may resist believing "opposing" evidence or even "interpret" the facts so that it supports their decision. So, facts matter, but how you present them may matter even more. Start With A Story We're a storytelling society. We remember stories long after we've forgotten facts and figures. And we remember what we've experienced more than something we have read or heard. It's the power of stories. So, we end our list with an idea of where to start the conversation if you want to change someone's mind: tell a story, give an example, conjure up a memory of an experience … anything that will make the topic relatable and provide an emotional foundation on which you can build. WARNING: Although this post is about ways to approach changing someone's mind … keep in mind that it's a two-way street. If you truly listen and remain open-minded, you may, ironically, find yourself changing your mind. --- ### Red's Crisis **Published:** July 21, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Learning For Life **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/reds-crisis-2646280112.html.md Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking. Red assets.rebelmouse.io In some ways, it seems like decades ago that my husband got fired. In other ways, it seems like yesterday. I had never felt so scared. So confused.So out of control. I thought he’d work for the company where he had been for years until he retired, and by then we’d have a second home and would live happily ever after. It never occurred to me that anything could change that plan. Everything seemed perfect. Then, seemingly in an instant, the future I had counted on disappeared. And my life became a living nightmare. Black assets.rebelmouse.io Yes, and as I told you at the time … you needed to calm down. I said that a lot. Still do. Anyway, I remember telling you to take a deep breath … and that you would get through it. And, you did, although you constantly questioned whether you could. THE CONVERSATION STARTERS Your life can change in an instant. Can you be prepared? How can you plan for the unknown? What are other unplanned life events? What's one thing you can control when life feels out of control? --- ### Don’t Confuse Time Alone With Time Away! **Published:** July 20, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Learning For Life **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/dont-confuse-time-alone-with-time-away-2648483569.html.md Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking. Red assets.rebelmouse.io I need to vent! Between work and family, I'm constantly busy. And I feel like I'm always needed by someone for something! Which normally is ok, as that's my life. But sometimes all the everyday things keep piling up to the point it’s overwhelming, and I feel totally stressed. I just need some time alone! Black assets.rebelmouse.io No, you need time away. Red assets.rebelmouse.io Same thing. Black assets.rebelmouse.io No. Not really. “Time alone” means without anyone with you. So, running errands without the girls or working alone in your office would be time alone. But, what you need is … “time away”. In other words, time with no other objective than doing something for yourself. Even if that is doing nothing. THE CONVERSATION STARTERS When was the last time you did something by yourself that was just for yourself? Is taking "time away" selfish? Can knowing you have blocked off "time away" help with managing stress today? --- ### Dummy List & Tools 5 **Published:** July 20, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** General **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/dummy-list-tools-5-2677239908.html.md Over the years (and much to our surprise), we’ve found that many of the ideas and approaches Black shared with Red to help her deal with an assortment of topics are resonating with people of all ages. (Red will be the first to tell you that Black sees things differently than most people … while Black just sees herself as extremely pragmatic.) It may be because many are what Red describes as "instantly actionable" items or “duh” moments. Others may simply get you to stop and think. But that, too, is a good thing. So, we created this LEARNING FOR LIFE section. LOTS OF LISTS Red will be the first to admit that she’s learned that lists for the sake of having lists is not productive. But over the years, we’ve been told our lists are often valuable checklists. Some were ones Black created for Red when she was going through her “crisis” (Red’s word, not Black’s), while others were created when we were teaching at KIPP Houston High School. But over the years, we’ve developed ones in response to conversations we’ve had with people, although Black may come up with lists just to get you thinking. CONVERSATION STARTERS People told us they’re using our sisterly banter to start conversations with others — family, friends, at work, and even in classrooms — so Black created CONVERSATION STARTERS. Each provides our perspectives but then lists some “leading questions” to get the conversation started. We all have those days when we feel life is out of control, so we’ll continue to provide you with information and tools that we hope you’ll not only enjoy and find useful, but also want to share. Technically, they’re weekly newsletters, but readers have told us they get them thinking — get them talking — get them taking action, so sign up on the "sticky bar" at the bottom of the page. --- ### Be A Team Leader ... Not A Martyr **Published:** July 18, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Learning For Life **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/teamwork-team-leader-not-martyr-2653107048.html.md Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking. Redassets.rebelmouse.io I remember when the girls were still living at home and some days just seemed more overwhelming than usual. I understood that as a single mom, my job description put me in charge of making sure everything at home ran smoothly and that everyone had what they needed. But there were days when I just felt like I was doing everything! Whether it was grocery shopping, preparing the meals, cleaning the house, or running a seemingly endless list of errands. And that was on top of working full-time on Red & Black. Even though I’m an empty nester, there are still days I feel like I need to come up for air. But how? Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Two words: Teamwork and Communication. Obviously, you have forgotten what I told you then and several times since then. But, if it makes you feel any better, I have seen many people in the corporate world with this same tendency — refusing to delegate. Believing that the only way to get things done “right” is to do it yourself versus either asking others to do it or, at least, asking them to help. I suggested you start thinking of your family as your team, which would have made it a learning experience for everyone. But, until you learn to ask for help and explain what you need, nothing will change. THE CONVERSATION STARTERS Why do you think Red feels like she has to do everything for everybody? What are the advantages and disadvantages of teamwork? What's one "task" that you'd love for someone else to do or to help with? How can you make that happen? If someone asked you for help, what would be your reaction? Would you make it easy — or hard — for them to ask for help? --- ### Personal Finance — Sounds More Difficult Than It Is **Published:** July 18, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Learning For Life **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/financial-literacy-sounds-difficult-2655013501.html.md Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking. assets.rebelmouse.io When my husband got fired, I was scared. Not just for me, but for my family. Why? Not only the obvious reasons, but having to deal with personal finance for the first time (during a crisis, no less) was overwhelming. Especially because I thought you needed a finance degree to figure it out. I knew we were in a huge financial mess, not because of the specifics of our situation, but because neither my husband nor I knew where we stood. How could two highly educated people be so clueless about their finances?! It may be human nature to fear the unknown, but feeling you have to face things alone makes it even worse. I knew my husband wasn't going to be much help, so I turned to my sister, the one with the M.B.A., hoping that she'd tell me what to do. Instead, she insisted that I had to learn to do it myself, not only for my own good but so that I could then "teach" my daughters. Luckily, she guided me step by step, although the last thing I ever expected was that she was keeping notes and would turn my crisis into a bestselling book! (She thought it would make a great sitcom!) Black assets.rebelmouse.io What are big sisters for? Anyway, fast forward to the first time I remember hearing the term "financial literacy." It was when we were asked to "teach" it at KIPP Houston High School, and although they explained it as understanding money and personal finance in order to make smart financial decisions, I did not like the term. It immediately made me think that the opposite of being financially "literate" is being "illiterate," which has a negative connotation of being uneducated or ignorant when, in reality, it is a function of never having been exposed to the subject matter and/or recognizing its importance. Red and I are perfect examples. She had been a straight-A student who went to a prestigious college yet managed to avoid learning about money and personal finance until she was almost 40. My situation was even more extreme. I have an undergraduate degree in Economics and an M.B.A. in International Finance, yet did not apply what I learned about money (on a macro, or big picture, level) and corporate finance to my finances until I was almost bankrupt. THE CONVERSATION STARTERS Why do financial matters and topics seem so daunting? Have you or your family been affected by financial literacy issues or challenges? If so, how have they impacted your life? How is it possible that Red and Black, both highly educated people, could be "so clueless" about their own finances? Red mentioned the ripple effect of being able to teach her daughters. Are there other ripple effects? P.S. – You might be interested in this animated video on Personal Finance we did as part of a soft skills series for The Greater Houston Partnership's UpSkill Houston initiative. --- ### Help! My Lists Have Lists! **Published:** July 18, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Learning For Life **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/help-my-lists-have-lists-2650243968.html.md Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking. Redassets.rebelmouse.io You’d think by now I’d have learned. I know that once upon a time, when my life was simpler, my “To Do” lists were easier to keep under control. Not to mention they were much “prettier”. I had a basic system for keeping things organized and, although nothing close to your extremely organized lists, it fit my needs. But after my “crisis”, my lists seemed to multiply, especially as the girls got older and we got busier with Red & Black. And before you say anything, yes, you’ve definitely helped me a lot over the years, but my lists have gotten out of control again! Now I’m overwhelmed not only by the number of tasks but because everything seems to be high priority. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Are you finished? First thing is to stop thinking you can have perfect “To Do” lists. Second, as I have told you countless times over the years, is that you have the process backward … you are too focused on making lists versus deciding what you need to do and then creating lists. Imagine you are starting with a “clean slate” or blank piece of paper. Identify your overall goals or objectives, then list what tasks are required, starting with the most important ones. Make sure the tasks are specific and feasible. And, do not clutter the list with things that take only a few minutes or little effort. Do not overcomplicate this process. Especially as lists are supposed to help you — not overwhelm you. THE CONVERSATION STARTERS Do "To Do" lists help you accomplish things or hurt your productivity? Do you currently use "To Do" Lists? If not, why not? If you use (or have used) "To Do" lists ... What worked well? What didn't work? --- ### Think Before Traveling? **Published:** July 17, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Learning For Life **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/vacation-think-before-traveling-2653201297.html.md Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking. red headassets.rebelmouse.io I know vacations are supposed to be a way to escape stress, but there's always stress associated with planning them, getting ready to be away, and then, ultimately, having to pay for them. Years ago, I learned the value of staycations but would take it a step further and check into a local hotel since I knew I needed to get out of the house. In many ways, one of the last “real” vacations was when the girls were young, and we’d try to get away every August to the Hyatt Hill Country, although it was only a few hours away. Now, most of my travel is to visit them where they live. So, while the destination may have changed, the purpose hasn’t — spending quality time together without everyday life interrupting. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io It sounds like you identified "why" you wanted a vacation, and what you wanted to accomplish. For me, I realized escaping to a great hotel with a first-class spa did not require getting on a plane, although there was a time when my vacations were based on golf courses I wanted to play, shows I wanted to see, or friends I wanted to visit. The key is knowing your objective. And, the same logic applies to business trips. Virtual meetings have shown us that not every out-of-town meeting requires a trip. Sometimes being there is critical. Sometimes it is not. THE CONVERSATION STARTERS Before you travel, do you take time to think about the purpose or objective of the trip? Why or why not? Are there different ways to achieve the same objectives? What are the pros and cons of each? How do you decide when traveling is worth the time, expense, and effort? --- ### One Person’s Problem … Is Another’s Challenge?! **Published:** July 17, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Learning For Life **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/problem-solving-approach-challenge-2659674338.html.md Our banter may start with two sisters, but it’s getting families, friends, and even classrooms talking. red head assets.rebelmouse.io I suspect I’m not alone when I say I have a problem with problems. I know I can’t make them go away, but they often seem overwhelming, especially if they’re going to take a lot of time and effort to resolve. And if they’re a “serious” problem, my natural tendency is to “freak out”, which makes matters even worse because then I don’t even know where to start. Or even if I’m capable of dealing with it. Being a warm and fuzzy person (not to mention I avoid conflict at all costs) means my emotions drive my reactions and approach, which (as Black likes to point out) makes the problem even more, well, problematic. Black assets.rebelmouse.io When we talk about problems, it is usually about something that is difficult to deal with or understand. It is something that stands in our way, hinders us from achieving a particular goal, or adds to an already overburdened to-do list. And, problems cause stress. No wonder problems create a negative attitude or outlook. But, what if you took that same situation and looked at it as something that needs to be overcome? Recognizing that it may take a significant amount of time and effort, but in the end, you will feel a sense of accomplishment. Would that change your approach? And, what if you break it into smaller pieces and create interim milestones? Being pragmatic (and competitive), challenges are an opportunity to accomplish or prove something. THE CONVERSATION STARTERS Why do you think Red and Black have such different attitudes toward problems/challenges? Think of a problem. Can you turn it into a challenge? Will that help you tackle/resolve it? Define “mindset” and “perspective.” How important are they to this conversation? Why? --- ### Black’s Version Of A Rainy Friday **Published:** July 16, 2026 | **Author:** BLACK | **Section:** Words & Banter **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/blacks-version-a-rainy-friday-2648054942.html.md Red may think that the journey of Red & Black began the night her husband was fired (read her version, It Was A Rainy Friday), and technically, she may be correct. Or, maybe it started when we were growing up, and that Friday was merely a life-changing event (for her). Regardless, I typically do not reminisce but, at least, want to provide my version of that rainy Friday. It was your basic Friday night, which meant I went out to dinner with my husband and enjoyed a good meal with an expensive bottle of fine wine. And, I was responsible for the conversation. However, that could have described almost any evening. Upon our return to the house, he would plant himself in front of the television and quickly fall asleep. Which was my cue to go upstairs to my home office and check emails. (It was 2004, so before everyone was tethered to smartphones.) On this particular evening, there was an email from my sister, simply stating, “I need to talk to you about Nick as soon as possible! It’s serious.” She had sent it just before 10 p.m., and it was now almost 11 p.m. I started to call her, but then realized how odd it was that she sent me an email versus trying my cell phone or leaving a message on our house phone. So, I emailed her to call me when she got the message — regardless of the time. I started to run through the various scenarios of what could be wrong with Nick. Taking into consideration that my sister was warm and fuzzy, and tended to be overly emotional (the fact that she had gotten a degree in theater only made it worse), did not help narrow down the options. Until I focused on the fact it was a single, simple sentence. That alarmed me. It was totally out of character for her, as typically I would have had to wade through all the words to find the key point. So, I immediately started to think the worst — he was seriously ill or had been in an accident. Since there was nothing more I could do, I finished up some emails, did a little paperwork, and once the snoring had moved from the living room to the bedroom, went back downstairs. I am an early riser, so was back at my computer well before 6 a.m., and still no email from Red. But, when I finally heard from her and she let me know that he had been fired, I was relieved. It was not as bad as anything I had imagined. Plus, I had lost my job in the energy industry — not once, but twice (once due to a downturn in the industry and once due to corporate politics), so did not find the situation overly dire. OK, so maybe she was looking for sympathy and/or a compassionate response … but I have been her older sister her entire life. She should have known better. And, to this day, even though I have told “my version” of this story to thousands of people at speaking engagements, Red still laughs at herself for being surprised by my initial reaction. --- ### It Was A Rainy Friday **Published:** July 16, 2026 | **Author:** RED | **Section:** Words & Banter **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/it-was-a-rainy-friday-2646433930.html.md So, curious how Red & Black started? Well, on the surface, it would seem our journey started with the launch of the book I co-authored with my sister, "What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!" But we all know that what leads up to the "start" of a journey can be just as important, and sometimes even more important. It's like a vacation, the actual vacation falls somewhere in the middle — after the planning and packing and before the post-vacation "recovery" phases that always seem to include lots of laundry. But I digress (warning, I do that a lot). The real beginning of the journey started on a rainy Friday in January 2004. (The year's important as the economy was strong, and also because it was before we were all constantly accessible via smartphones.) I was preparing dinner, while my two young daughters, Natasha, who was 5 years old at the time, and Sawyer, who was 1-1/2 years old, were playing in the family room section of the kitchen. I didn't think about it at the time (that happened several hours later and for a long time after that), but I would have described my life as happy and secure. A stay-at-home mom with two beautiful, healthy daughters. A marriage to a husband who was a good father and a good provider. He had a great job with a major company, which led to us living around the world, and he had dedicated his life to it for almost 25 years. But at 5:00 p.m. that Friday, my life was changed in an instant … when he came home and told me, totally unexpectedly, he had been fired. Forget about long-term plans and dreams for the future. How were we going to get through today and tomorrow and next week? Even today, I can remember how I felt as if it was yesterday. I was terrified. I was devastated. Emotionally, I was a wreck. I could've killed my husband for doing this to the family. Yet I felt incredibly sad for him. His entire career had been dedicated to the company, and he didn't deserve this. I was ashamed. Yet, I had to be strong and put on a brave face for him and our daughters. And what was I going to tell people? I'd eventually figure that out, but first, I had to tell my sister — the one person who knows everything about my life and who I talk to almost every day. I thought I was a strong person and well-educated, but I wasn't sure I had the skills to handle this. So, I did what I thought best … I sent her an email saying I needed to talk to her as soon as possible. That something serious had happened to Nick. (Obviously, I was in shock because, as someone who likes to blah-blah-blah, I neglected to provide any details). And then, I logged off my computer … never realizing that my journey had just begun. --- ### You’ve Got To Hand It … To Minnie Mouse **Published:** July 14, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Words & Banter **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/minnie-mouse-outfit-big-business-2658650120.html.md red headassets.rebelmouse.io You've mentioned going to Make-A-Wish events where Wish kids learn they're about to go to Disney World in Orlando. So, I'm curious, do you wear your Minnie Mouse ears or oversized Mickey Mouse hands? Blackassets.rebelmouse.io They are called “Wish Reveals.” And, yes, to the ears. But, the hands are a bit much since they’re always distracting. red headassets.rebelmouse.io No kidding! I’ll never forget you wearing them for “Dress as your favorite character day” when we were teaching at KIPP Houston High School. It was one of the funniest Red & Black classes. Ever. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io The funny thing is that other than wearing the ears and oversized hands, everything else was impromptu. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Perhaps, but I also remember you wore a short black leather skirt and your usual Christian Louboutin black heels with red soles, except this time they were boots. Which, I might add, are the perfect Minnie Mouse colors. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Well, there was no way I would wear a red polka dot dress. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Which you proceeded to explain to the students is also how Minnie feels. That she only wears it “at work” because she’s paid to. After all, she’s a business tycoon, and prefers designer clothing to tacky dresses. Not to mention, outside of work, she’d never wear the same exact outfit every day. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Yes, and your point is? red headassets.rebelmouse.io That alone was funny enough, but explaining it while “in character” and gesturing with those oversized white hands just made every word hilarious. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I did not even need to do a squeaky Minnie Mouse voice. red headassets.rebelmouse.io All I know is that if someone had told me when we were kids and visiting Disney World shortly after they opened, that my big sister would one day entertain high school seniors with a business lesson about Minnie while “in costume”, I’d have said they were crazy. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I cannot believe that was 50 years ago. Did you know that Mickey and Minnie were born on the same day and are almost 100 years old? Animation is the ultimate fountain of youth. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Is that why you like to use our animated creatures, rather than us, as often as possible?! But if they’re ageless, what determines their birthday? Blackassets.rebelmouse.io November 18, 1928, was the day “Steamboat Willy,” the animated short film that made Mickey (and his girlfriend, Minnie) famous, was released. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Even though they were never my favorite cartoon characters, I still remember the first time I saw that film. It was somewhere on Main Street, USA at Disney World, and it was in black and white. I’ve never forgotten it. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I am fascinated by how one animated short became an entertainment empire. And, to think that Mickey was a mouse because Walt Disney signed over the rights to his first creation, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Is that why, when Red & Black was first created, you refused to give over the rights to anything and everything that we created? I always assumed it was because you were a control freak. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I admit I am a control freak, but would like to think it is selective. For example, controlling the Red & Black brand so that it represents what we stand for and believe. When you say “Disney,” it conjures up an image of being wholesome and family-appropriate. And, Mickey and Minnie are an integral part of that. It is the power of a brand and has made Disney the brand it is today. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Yes, and I remember you telling that to the students, even going so far as to explain the value of the brand as an intangible asset. It was probably the funniest explanation of the concept anyone’s ever heard, but that’s because you did it while wearing those oversized white mouse gloves. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Who knew that Minnie could make learning so much fun? red headassets.rebelmouse.io So, what do you think Mickey would’ve thought of that? Especially as he’s used to getting top billing. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I know that Mickey may get most of the attention, and even his own day, but never underestimate the power of Minnie … --- ### Videos: Old, New, Future **Published:** July 14, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Videos **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/an-assortment-of-videos-2646886096.html.md At one point, we were going to call this section "Retro" because initially it only contained videos created by a high school senior (Thanks, Aurelio) back when we keynoted at YES Prep High School in 2012. And, at the risk of sounding arrogant — we’re still amazed that his videos have been viewed over 800,000 times — and have stood the test of time. Plus, we were hoping we could use our animated “creatures” instead of appearing live, but then how would you know we were real people? So, we started recording our weekly team Zoom meetings, and our social media guru has taken segments and turned them into short videos (and suggested, on more than one occasion, that we should do a podcast). FROM INSIDE THE PRISON WALLS We never expected to go to prison (technically, it was our bestselling book, but we did visit a few of the units), and the Texas Department of Criminal Justice allowed us to send a film crew in to interview the men and the chaplain who piloted the first of many Red & Black Personal Finance & Life 101 programs. Be prepared to hear powerful voices and unexpected messages that will stop you in your tracks. And begs the question, “Why are these things not taught in school?” WANT MORE VIDEOS? We’ll start loading them on our YouTube channel, and you’ll be able to click VIDEOS for an assortment of short videos and social media posts. And, of course, they’ll be scattered throughout this site based on subject matter, while some will be “sneak previewed” in our weekly newsletter, so … Register for our newsletter on the “sticky bar” at the bottom of the page. P.S. – If there’s a topic you want us to talk about, please email us at Banter@RedandBlack.email. --- ### A Floor Filing System? **Published:** July 13, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/a-floor-filing-system-2657305446.html.md Overwhelmed by piles of paper? Well, if you’re like Red, longing for a perfectly clean desk, you might use filing cabinets or, at least, neatly stacked file folders. But a filing system that uses the floor of your workroom? And what happens when you run out of floor space?! Curious about Black’s advice? Check out this book excerpt …Too Much Paper — Not Enough Time. --- ### All These Missing $20 Bills **Published:** July 13, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/all-these-missing-20-bills-2649455206.html.md Red’s missing money?! Black has no clue what she’s talking about … but it would have helped had Red explained it was the $20 bills she gets from the ATM. The ones that then “magically” disappear ... --- ### Only One Doing Anything! **Published:** July 13, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/only-one-doing-anything-2649543880.html.md Can you relate to Red’s one-man (oops, make that one-woman) show? And at what point do you ask for help? --- ### I Blew Away Money Like Water **Published:** July 10, 2026 | **Author:** From You | **Section:** Quotes & Feedback **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/testimonial-blew-away-money-2649625370.html.md When I am released and at home I will know how to deal with my finances in a different manner. Beforehand I would never pay much attention, I blew away money like water. If I would've had the chance to know what I know now I would most likely be in a better position financially. --- ### What Would Black Do? **Published:** July 10, 2026 | **Author:** From You | **Section:** Quotes & Feedback **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/testimonial-what-would-black-do-2646002109.html.md In talking about some personal financial issues with my husband, he suddenly bursts out with "What would Black do?" We immediately had our answer. --- ### One Bite At A Time! **Published:** July 10, 2026 | **Author:** From You | **Section:** Quotes & Feedback **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/testimonial-one-bite-a-time-2649706157.html.md Elephant concept — one bite at a time! I should think in terms of need vs. want when I spend money. Basically stop & think. --- ### Ready To Throw In The Towel **Published:** July 10, 2026 | **Author:** From You | **Section:** Quotes & Feedback **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/testimonial-throw-in-the-towel-2649317761.html.md More than just money, about everyday living. How you deal with everyday situations. Focuses on money, but focuses on everyday situation you're put in. NO matter what — was ready to throw in the towel, Black was there for her, push her sister along, sometimes that's what you need. Keep walking through your struggles, don't give up. Live your life, no matter what life throws at you. --- ### My Core Values **Published:** July 10, 2026 | **Author:** From You | **Section:** Quotes & Feedback **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/testimonial-my-core-values-2648885487.html.md I've gotten in touch with my core values again … honesty, hard work, giving back. --- ### A Huge "Light Bulb" Moment **Published:** July 10, 2026 | **Author:** From You | **Section:** Quotes & Feedback **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/testimonial-huge-light-bulb-moment-2649706249.html.md A huge "light bulb" moment was understanding the history and original purpose of credit cards. --- ### I Had To Suck It Up **Published:** July 10, 2026 | **Author:** From You | **Section:** Quotes & Feedback **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/testimonial-suck-it-up-2648570585.html.md I went from my parent's house to my husband's house. When he died seven years ago, I had to suck it up and learn everything on my own. It was the scariest thing I ever had to do. --- ### Laugh And Highlight **Published:** July 10, 2026 | **Author:** From You | **Section:** Quotes & Feedback **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/testimonial-laugh-and-learn-2677042166.html.md Wow! This is not an ordinary book. Both an entertaining read and a practical reflection of ‘life coaching’ essentials — for us all. Be prepared to laugh, and highlight, as you read. Everyone needs to know how to eat an elephant! To read more about What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, click here. To read Book Bites (excerpts), click here. To buy the book, click here. --- ### Already Debating **Published:** July 10, 2026 | **Author:** From You | **Section:** Quotes & Feedback **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/testimonial-book-was-great-surprise-2677045048.html.md I only read the intro, and already debating whether to give up my workout or continue hahaha. To read more about What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, click here. To read Book Bites (excerpts), click here. To buy the book, click here. --- ### A Great Surprise **Published:** July 10, 2026 | **Author:** From You | **Section:** Quotes & Feedback **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/testimonial-book-was-great-surprise-2677045044.html.md Received a great surprise this morning. I love the book and need the advice even more. To read more about What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, click here. To read Book Bites (excerpts), click here. To buy the book, click here. --- ### Why Should I Waste My Time? **Published:** July 9, 2026 | **Author:** From You | **Section:** Quotes & Feedback **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/testimonial-book-not-time-wasted-2677045053.html.md When they told us that this book was about finances, I thought, "Well, I do not have to read it." I thought that since I already know how to manage my money, then why should I waste my time reading a book that told me what I already "knew." When I read the first chapter, I knew I was wrong. There was more to finances than just how to "manage" my money. To read more about What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!, click here. To read Book Bites (excerpts), click here. To buy the book, click here. --- ### The Back And Forth Of Conversation **Published:** July 9, 2026 | **Author:** From You | **Section:** Quotes & Feedback **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/testimonial-back-and-forth-conversationpeople-2653855380.html.md The genius of your approach through the back and forth of conversation is powerful. --- ### A General, A Politician, & A Salad? **Published:** July 9, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Banter Bites **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/julius-caesar-not-trick-question-2672984394.html.md Quick! If someone says "Julius Caesar," what comes to mind? Almost everyone has heard of Julius Caesar, but how many of us really know much about him, or at least that's what Red starts to wonder when she receives the usual flippant, but still accurate, reply from her sister, after feeling very proud that she knew that July was named after the famous Roman. Which is what got Red to realize, much to her surprise (shock, if truth be told), that even as a straight-A student with a love of history, that when it came to Julius Caesar, a famous historical figure and possibly one of the greatest generals and statesmen of all time, she couldn't tell you dates or battles or anything "historical" associated with him. Even as a theater major in college, she never read Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar," although she knew just enough about the play to know that it was where the fortune teller warned Caesar to "Beware the Ides of March." Instead, her knowledge of Caesar came from her love of movies. My first, and probably my most enduring, memory is of a brilliant general who not only commanded armies as he conquered lands far from home but was a great statesman who was also involved with one of the world's most beautiful women. And while he was Julius Caesar and the woman was Cleopatra, to me, they'll always be Rex Harrison and Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra, a movie almost as controversial as the general himself. And Black? Besides knowing that Caesar Salad was invented by a different Caesar, she appreciates Julius Caesar's leadership skills and way with words, There is much we can learn about leadership from Julius Caesar, whether on the battlefield, in politics, or in business (start small, take risks, communicate well), including what ultimately led to his death (always consider worst-case scenarios, never get complacent or arrogant). Many of his quotes speak (pun intended) to his powerful way with words, and the ability to not only deliver a message but to inspire (and story tell), with my favorite being, "I came, I saw, I conquered." --- ### Translating Mom Responsibilities **Published:** July 8, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/soft-skills-translating-mom-skills-2657708354.html.md Red never quite believes Black when she says “mom skills” are valuable workplace skills, but after Black pointed out examples like teamwork and negotiating skills in Mom Skills Are … Soft Skills?!, Red’s beginning to see her point. Although Red wonders how her years of “playing” chauffeur and camp counselor would “translate” in the workplace. --- ### Be Honest … You Hate To Think! **Published:** July 7, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/answering-question-with-question-2658411452.html.md Do you know people who answer a question with a question? Does it drive you crazy? (It does Red.) Black, of course, would reply with: Have you ever thought about why they do it — and why it bothers you so much? She might then suggest you look up the word maieutics.) --- ### Fire In The House! **Published:** July 7, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/fire-in-the-house-safety-2659594151.html.md Red may have been annoyed that Black questioned whether she was prepared in case there was a fire in her house, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized Black wasn't trying to be annoying (that seems to come naturally), she just knows the time to think about it is BEFORE it happens. --- ### She’s Being Sarcastic?! **Published:** July 7, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/being-sarcastic-never-changes-2656411122.html.md Red’s surprised when Black’s sarcastic?! We have no idea why, since sarcasm has always been Black’s default setting. --- ### Climbing Out A Passenger Window **Published:** July 7, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/climbing-out-passenger-window-plan-2656679505.html.md Only Black would climb out the passenger window of her racecar instead of simply opening the driver’s door. Red couldn’t help but wonder, “WHAT are you doing?!” Black thinks the better question is, “WHY are you doing that?” --- ### Can You Add & Subtract? **Published:** July 7, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/money-tips-add-and-subtract-2657210980.html.md Don’t you hate it when sarcasm and the truth are basically the same thing? Well, Black would argue that she wasn’t being sarcastic (at least not this time) because those two basic math skills are all you really need “to do” personal finance. --- ### Unusual Family Tree **Published:** July 7, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/role-models-unusual-family-tree-2656956043.html.md Not your typical family tree — Red, the warm and fuzzy stay-at-home mom with her two daughters, and Black, the retired pragmatic business executive with her two “babies”. Proof that women can be role models and make a difference in many ways … whether you’re raising children or racing Ferraris, although we know which one usually gets more attention. --- ### Red & Black … Do Red, White & Blue **Published:** July 4, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** General **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/july-4th-celebrate-honor-independence-2677137763.html.md How we celebrate July 4th may change from year to year, but what should never change is remembering WHY we celebrate. And 250 years feels like the perfect time to reflect not just on traditions, but on the sacrifices made to build — and preserve — the freedoms we often take for granted. Red assets.rebelmouse.io July 4th is so different these days with neither girl at home. Natasha always hated the fireworks, while Sawyer would insist we do all the traditional things – barbecuing, eating lots of watermelon, and then watching fireworks in the Texas heat and humidity. But this year, I plan to make it a very “cool” holiday … staying in the air-conditioned house, enjoying “Gone With The Wind” (this summer’s long read), and celebrating my own independence from any “mom” responsibilities with a big bucket of freshly popped popcorn! Black assets.rebelmouse.io Well, everyone celebrates differently. I celebrate by being able to work uninterrupted. But, I do think about what it took for our Founding Fathers to draft the Declaration of Independence, especially as they did not always agree. The right to disagree, yet respect our differences and find common ground, remains one of our country’s greatest challenges today. Some things never change. We want to wish everyone a safe and festive Fourth of July, but we also hope that we all take a moment to celebrate — and honor — the United States of America, and remember the best in us, as a people, and as a country. --- ### Quick Witted Approach **Published:** July 3, 2026 | **Author:** From You | **Section:** Quotes & Feedback **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/testimonial-quick-witted-approach-2649073550.html.md The quick witted approach and head on addressing of real life issues. --- ### I Want A Conversation! **Published:** July 3, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/i-want-a-conversation-2650509453.html.md Just because you want it – doesn't mean you'll get it. --- ### When Did You First Learn About Money? **Published:** July 3, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** General **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/first-learn-about-money-2652759250.html.md What's worse than admitting your age? For Red, admitting when you first learned about money. --- ### Drowning In A Sea Of Paper **Published:** July 3, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/drowning-in-paper-2653140272.html.md In her usual theatrical fashion, Red laments about piles of paper. Maybe she needs to reread the Too Much Paper – Not Enough Time excerpt from our bestselling book, "What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired!" --- ### We’ve Always Been Animated **Published:** July 2, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/weve-always-been-animated-2646884904.html.md OK, we have to give credit where credit is due … When Black first envisioned “Red & Black” (before she even let Red know that she was turning her crisis into a book — a brand — a business), she thought it could be a sitcom. Because all successful sitcoms are relationship-based. However, years later, at a meeting with Hasbro, they said they thought our sitcom concept would work better as animation. So, thank you, Hasbro! ANIMATION … MADE THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY: FRAME-BY-FRAME We worked with an industry-renowned animation firm based in Austin, and from the start — beginning with character development — we felt like they “got us” and captured our personalities in our animated “creatures.” But we never realized the incredible amount of work that goes into creating animation (including storyboards and animatics)! And the long lead time between concept/script and final product. Plus, we decided that the voices of the “animated” Red and Black needed to be done by us. We wish we had videoed the sessions in the sound booth as Red’s theater degree kicked in and she got almost everything in the first take. And Black? Well, she sounded more like a robot than a robot. (Talk about someone who can’t be scripted!) AND USED IN A WAY THAT WORKS TODAY We started with the key stories that people seem to love (or at least seem entertained by) at speaking engagements. But even before they were done, we were presented with an opportunity we never expected. The Greater Houston Partnership’s UpSkill Houston initiative asked us to create a Red & Black Soft Skills Animation Series. It wasn’t long before Red's daughter, Sawyer, told us we needed to do some very short animated "teasers" … so Black said, "Great. Go for it. And, keep track of your hours.” She took the final versions of our animation and started creating teasers for our website. In late 2025, we hired a social media “guru”, and she started creating content using the animation for our Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn pages. Which, we’re thrilled to announce, have far exceeded our expectations. WHAT ABOUT AI? DO YOU PLAN TO USE IT TO GENERATE ANIMATIONS? This question seems to be on many people’s minds. Short answer: No. Longer answer: We’re committed to supporting the real-world creative community. Does that mean we’ll never use AI to generate animations? (For an amusing story on how wrong AI got our “creatures”, see this LinkedIn post that got over 15,000 views.) Well, at the point in time we can provide AI with “scripts”, and it can generate new animation that’s consistent with our current animation, then yes. Or, at least, yes, we might seriously consider it. WANT MORE ANIMATION? Click ANIMATION for an assortment of “teasers” from our longer stories, while more, including ones from our social media posts, will be loaded on a regular basis. And, of course, they’ll be scattered throughout this site based on subject matter. Plus, we’ll probably “sneak preview” the full animated stories on our weekly newsletter, so … Register for our newsletter on the “sticky bar” at the bottom of the page. P.S. – For those of you who've met us or seen us at speaking engagements, we'd love to know if you think the animators have accurately captured us! (You can email us at Banter@RedandBlack.email.) --- ### Think Before You Spend? **Published:** July 2, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/stop-and-think-before-spending-2658686165.html.md There always seem to be endless opportunities to spend money. Lots and lots of money. And although Red initially thought Black’s comment to “think before you spend” was sarcasm, she eventually realized Black’s advice was possibly the best she’d ever received. Funny thing is this logic also applies to time … --- ### Blah - Blah - Blah? **Published:** July 1, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/blah-blah-blah-2662316587.html.md Ever feel like no one listens to you? Red probably feels that way more than she cares to admit. --- ### Soft Skills Animation Series **Published:** June 30, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/what-are-soft-skills-animation-2674182677.html.md This series of animated videos was developed for The Greater Houston Partnership's UpSkill Houston initiative. They're updating their website, but due to popular demand for these videos, we're making them (and the associated copy) available on our site: Soft skills are key to successful careers. Certain technical skills may be required for specific careers or in particular industries. But there are other skills that are necessary regardless of industry, career or work setting. They’re becoming more important as technology evolves and changes the way people work. These skills are called soft skills and knowing how to recognize and demonstrate them is crucial. UpSkill Houston and Red & Black have partnered to highlight many of the soft skills that are key to career success, all of which are transferable between industries, as well as in your personal life. Learn what these skills are, how you can develop them, and how to apply them in career settings. WHAT ARE SOFT SKILLS? Employability Skills. 21st Century Skills. Life Skills. Whatever you call them, skills such as problem solving, gratitude and communication are the skills employers continually look for in employees. COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Communication affects almost everything and everyone. But do you know what communication really means? CREATIVE THINKING: Think creativity only applies to areas like writing, music and art? See where creativity really fits within a business, organization or team. CRITICAL THINKING: What exactly is critical thinking? Learn how developing critical thinking skills can help you progress in your career. GRATITUDE & APPRECIATION: You might not think expressing gratitude and appreciation are skills that apply in business. But they are skills that can actually drive business success. GROWTH MINDSET: The world — and the workplace — are rapidly changing. See what it means to have a growth mindset, and why employers value it. PERSONAL FINANCE: See how learning to manage your personal money can affect your performance at work and, by extension, the performance of your workplace as a whole. PROBLEM SOLVING: Problem solving means more than just addressing a challenge after it occurs. Learn what else it means and why employers value problem solvers. RESEARCH & ANALYTICAL SKILLS: It is more than surfing the internet. Finding accurate and credible information that you can analyze and summarize are highly valuable skills in many jobs and occupations. RESUME WRITING: Companies hire people to satisfy a need or help solve a problem, and a resume is a place to highlight the relevant skills you have that meet that need or solve that problem. Learn what to focus on when writing your resume. SAFETY MINDSET: Working safely is important regardless of your work environment. Learn why having a safety mindset benefits you, your employer and those around you. SILO BUSTING: Many companies operate multiple departments, divisions or groups, which may not always collaborate or work together. Learn what it means to break a “silo” in a work setting and how doing it can improve the workflow around you. TEAMWORK: Being able to work on a team is as important in a work setting as it is while playing sports. See what skills can help move a project forward and drive success. --- ### Safety Is Boring! **Published:** June 25, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Animation **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/be-safe-be-boring-2660745700.html.md When was the last time you thought about safety (whether being prepared in case of a fire in your house or merely trying to avoid preventable injuries at work or home)? Yes, it’s boring … but the time to think about it isn’t AFTER the fact. P.S. – Did you know that June is National Safety Month? Although we could argue that it should be every month. --- ### Don't Take Our Word For It **Published:** June 22, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Quotes & Feedback **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/dont-take-our-word-2646211154.html.md We all know that when people post quotes or testimonials, it’s often a marketing device. But the truth is, getting feedback, and especially stories, about Red & Black from others is eye-opening. And often what keeps Red going when she faces days of frustration (and piles of paper) with all the work associated with Red & Black being a start-up company. Every time someone tells Red how her crisis, and how she learned to take control of her life, has helped them, it gives her a warm and fuzzy feeling. And how does Black respond? Great quote. Save it somewhere. And, make a note that we need to create a form to make it easier for people to give us feedback — both positive and negative, as how else can we improve? So, when creating the Quotes & Feedback section, we thought about playing off our tagline “real sisters. real life.” and calling it “real feedback.” Which, as most things do, got us on a (slight) tangent about “why” (Black’s favorite word) Red & Black is resonating with people. And although that may become a post one day, it doesn’t change the fact that we love hearing from those of you who have experienced Red & Black because you speak from a place of authenticity and credibility. Looking back (which Red loves to do, while Black prefers looking forward), if we had realized the journey we were about to take when Black turned Red’s crisis into a brand, we’d have saved all the feedback in one place. And Black would have probably used an Excel spreadsheet to organize it. Instead, we often find it when looking for something else. It has come from “real people” who’ve looked to Red & Black for their own enjoyment, but also from individuals (educators and students) in education settings, as well as community and religious organizations. But some of the most eye-opening feedback has come from those in the criminal justice world – both on the “inside” and “outside”. Sign up on the sticky bar at the bottom of the page to be one of the first to receive our feedback form, as we really do love hearing from you on all things Red & Black! Plus, it’s an easy way to get a little bit of Red & Black delivered to you every week. --- ### Were you surprised you were asked to develop — and teach — a personal finance program? **Published:** June 21, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Ask Red & Black **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/personal-finance-program-for-kipp-2649418980.html.md Red assets.rebelmouse.io Are you kidding?! I'm a cookie-baking carpool mom, and although we had just published a book based on my "crisis", we didn't even think of ourselves as authors. (My sister saved our emails and Instant Messages, and has never told me if she taped our phone conversations!) And the book was supposed to be the basis of a sitcom! We had literally done one speaking engagement and now were being asked to get in front of classrooms full of high school seniors for a semester-long course. During their LAST semester! Surprised? "Shocked" might be a better word. Or, maybe "panicked." Black assets.rebelmouse.io My immediate reaction was, "Sure, not a problem." Then, while Red was busy panicking, I focused on how to get it done. The request was in keeping with KIPP's approach to looking for non-traditional methods of educating students, so they agreed when I asked for a task force of students to help us develop the program. (I knew it had to be relevant or there was no point in doing it.) And, it was the students who suggested we use our book as a textbook, calling it a "reality show in a book" … which, at least, validated my idea that the book could be the basis of a sitcom. Want to know more about our book? For more details, including the Table Of Contents, click here. To read some Book Bites (excerpts), click here. --- ### Real Questions. Real Answers. **Published:** June 21, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Ask Red & Black **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/ask-us-a-question-2645994669.html.md JUST LIKE MOM? One of the things that drove Red crazy growing up was when our mother asked everyone questions. Lots and lots of questions. But that was because Red was a quiet, unassuming child who disliked attention of any sort. However, as she grew up, she realized how else do you find answers? Black, on the other hand, rarely asks personal questions, figuring if you want her to know something, you’ll volunteer it. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t ask questions. Lots and lots of questions. (WARNING! Her favorite one is, “Why?”) OUR FAVORITE QUESTIONS … Our favorite part of Speaking Engagements is when we open it up to questions from the audience, and, more often than not, we run out of time before we run out of questions. Many times, the questions are predictable (Did Red’s husband ever get a job?) and sometimes they’re not what we expected (What did Black learn from Red? FYI, she had to pause before answering). However, given Black turned Red’s crisis into a book — a brand — a business, we haven’t gotten a question that we refused to answer. (Note: Please do NOT take that as a challenge.) We’ve also done countless media interviews, and the questions from media professionals are not very different from the ones at speaking engagements. However, many of them provide us with an opportunity to share food for thought and “instantly actionable” suggestions, so we’ll share the “better” questions with you. QUESTIONS WE ASK EACH OTHER? If you’re wondering if we ever generate the questions, the answer is “yes.” Why? Because sometimes one of us wants to know how the other one would answer it. Typically, Black’s curious about Red’s self-proclaimed “mere mortal” take on a topic, but sometimes it’s Red needing a non-emotional perspective. SEND US YOUR QUESTIONS! We love questions. And, yes, you can submit one. (Red gets very excited when they arrive in her inbox.) If you receive our newsletter, you’re part of the group we invite to send questions to Red, Black, or both of us. We read them almost immediately. (Red insists.) From there, we select the questions most likely to resonate with our community — ones that are useful, thought-provoking, or simply fun. Because the goal isn’t just to respond. It’s to make it worth sharing. P. S. — If you want to be part of this community, sign up on the sticky bar at the bottom of this page. --- ### I can’t see my desk there’s so much paper on it. Help! **Published:** June 21, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Ask Red & Black **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/question-about-desk-paperwork-piles-2653780316.html.md assets.rebelmouse.io Oh, there are more days than I'd care to admit that I'd be grateful if it were just my desk that had too much paper on it, as I've been known to use my floor as a filing system. Really! And I've been known to complain about feeling like I'm drowning in paper on way more than one occasion. So, what do I do? Well, after kicking myself for letting things (once again) get out of hand instead of keeping on top of the paper clutter, I take a deep breath and remember the advice that Black gave me years ago. And although I initially resisted following her advice, once I gave in, I found it was the perfect (and easiest) way to turn mountains of paper into manageable stacks. But since it's her "system", I'll let her explain it to you. Black assets.rebelmouse.io All those words and Red provided only empathy — but no real advice. However, she raises a good point in that paper will always accumulate, and we should strive to keep it from getting out of control … versus trying to control it "perfectly". Now, in terms of the advice I gave Red, our accountants would suggest I refer you to our book, but I hate when people do that. Instead, we put the relevant excerpt on this site: Too Much Paper — Not Enough Time. But, here is a short version ("short" in terms of explanation, not the time it will take to make the piles shrink): take a handful of papers and begin sorting them into piles based on priority — immediate, this week, next week, next month, next lifetime. You will quickly realize that the majority of the items will be very low priority, such as reading, filing, or shredding. And, separating out the highest-priority items will not only help you focus on them, but will also reduce the stress of wondering if there is something important you are forgetting to do. --- ### I’m always so stressed, how do you manage to relax or escape? **Published:** June 20, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Ask Red & Black **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/how-to-relax-or-escape-2657704306.html.md Red assets.rebelmouse.io As an ostrich by nature, I guess sticking my head in the sand wouldn’t be the answer you’re looking for. Although, ironically, I find the less news I watch, the better. But a “trick” I learned as a teenager (when I was a kid, I thought it was a punishment) is taking a nap, even if it’s only for 15 minutes. Sometimes just lying down, even when I’m not tired, lets my batteries recharge. Other times, when I have a lot going on in my head, I find a nap or a short walk, which gives me the added benefit of a little exercise, gives me a few minutes of calm. Periodically, I tell Black that I’m going to try to get away for a few days or even have a “staycation”, where the objective is to do nothing, but it never seems to happen. Of course, anyone who knows me knows that movies are my great escape. And, yes, it’s because I love the popcorn. But there’s something about getting lost in what’s on the screen and forgetting the craziness of everyday life. Even if that means my theater degree sometimes kicks in, and I’m analyzing the movie instead of enjoying it at face value. Black assets.rebelmouse.io Asking a workaholic how to relax or escape may seem like an oxymoron, but if you will accept a “do as I say, not as I do” moment, I would suggest trying to find balance. Of course, I have a car analogy — a traffic light. My escape, though, is through exercise. However, I sometimes retreat to my hammock, which may seem strange for a workaholic living in a high-rise. I was intrigued by the company (Yellow Leaf), their SharkTank negotiations, and their backstory of empowering women by creating jobs that ultimately transform families. So, when I noticed they had a “Hammock Throne” (that is the actual name) that would fit in a corner of my balcony, I ordered it. Little did I know it would become a wonderful way to relax and a great escape (ok, I admit I use it to do business reading). --- ### My husband and I always argue about money. Any advice? **Published:** June 20, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Ask Red & Black **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/question-about-couple-arguing-money-2653470869.html.md assets.rebelmouse.io Well, at least you're talking about money! When my husband was unexpectedly fired (what I refer to as "my crisis"), I was over 40 and had never learned about money. Which explains why I was scared to death of personal finance and just wanted to keep my ostrich head in the sand. Unfortunately, my husband seemed as clueless as I was about our financial situation, so I had to turn to Black for help. As I started to learn more about our finances, I wanted to have a conversation with him to talk things through and jointly develop a plan. Although I was angry about our situation, I knew yelling at him wouldn't help (as tempting as that might have been). Plus, I realized that I tend to be very emotional (that's an understatement), and, as a Brit, he was very reserved and didn't talk about "important" things. Not a good combination. So, what did I do? I made a wonderful dinner, and we were finally relaxing and talking, just not about money. Until I brought it up. And he got really mad. As in banging dishes and slamming cupboard doors. I then stormed off, and when I told Black about it, she had to point out that a big part of talking is timing. Black assets.rebelmouse.io Besides timing (and blindsiding, even if unintentional, is never a good idea), it is critical to consider HOW you communicate. Using Red's situation as an example, it was already a difficult time, and she wanted to talk about money. A subject that, in the best of times, is not easy to talk about, plus something they had never talked about before. And, she wanted a face-to-face conversation, something he might see as more of a confrontation. It was a disaster waiting to happen. Of course, I cannot resist mentioning that years ago, when they were living in Shanghai and having relationship issues, they used stuffed animals to communicate. (You cannot make this stuff up.) Sometimes you need to find other ways to communicate. In terms of your situation, I am not an expert, but have learned there are many reasons why couples fight about money, and based on my personal experience, it comes down to communication. Both talking and listening — but genuinely listening, not just preparing a rebuttal argument. When it comes to money, there usually is not a "right" and "wrong" — only different attitudes. So, maybe the first step is to let your husband know that even though you may not always see eye to eye, you still want to find a way to work together. Talk about the best way to have a productive conversation before you start talking about the topic. --- ### What would you grab if you had to evacuate your home? **Published:** June 19, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Ask Red & Black **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/question-about-evacuation-plan-grab-2655037841.html.md assets.rebelmouse.io Well, it really depends on how much time I have. For example, it wasn't a natural disaster, but several years ago, a gas line at my house was accidentally cut during foundation work. All I did was run in, grab my daughter and dogs, the car keys, and got the "you know what" out of there. You hear stories of people taking photos, computers, and perhaps a beloved stuffed animal, but in that moment, all I cared about was saving the lives of my loved ones. Back in 2017, although I can remember it as if it were yesterday, when Hurricane Harvey was quickly intensifying and heading toward Texas, I had about six hours after getting a mandatory evacuation notice to get out of the house. So, at that point, I was able to not only pack my bags but also gather important documents and a few sentimental items (and move things to the second floor in case the first floor flooded). Granted, it was all in an incredible rush/panic, but I still had those few precious hours. Now, copies of all my important papers are in a binder and on a flash drive, both ready to grab. And I created a master "evacuation checklist" based on this hurricane checklist (as that's the most "common" natural disaster in Texas), in case I'm lucky enough to have time to pack. Black assets.rebelmouse.io Given that natural disasters do not always give you lead time, everyone should have an evacuation checklist. I based mine on this evacuation list (but, the Ready Campaign has lots of great planning tools) as well as experience, since Hurricane Harvey resulted in a mandatory evacuation of my high-rise. (The basement, where all the building's mechanical equipment is located, flooded and left the building without power and uninhabitable for almost two months.) All my digital files are on my primary computer, a laptop that I could grab. I know I could back up to the cloud, but am paranoid about security breaches, so I automatically back up everything to an on-site backup, and to two portable hard drives. (Ideally, I would keep one in a safety deposit box.) It is part of my “evacuation time capsule”. And, what I mean by that is … imagine you were going to lose everything in your home — determine what items you would want to “save” (whether for sentimental or practical reasons) and put them in a small piece of luggage or carry bag. The interesting thing is when you do that, you will most likely find the items you consider irreplaceable are not the most expensive ones (those become your insurance company’s problem, anyway). --- ### You often mention Make-A-Wish in your posts. Why? **Published:** June 18, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Ask Red & Black **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/make-a-wish-why-mention-2657219916.html.md Redassets.rebelmouse.io I admit I'd never heard of The Make-A-Wish Foundation before I was almost 40 (I lived abroad until then), and it was Black’s involvement with this life-changing organization that led me to learn about it. Growing up, charity wasn’t a big part of our lives, although I learned decades later that my grandmother was involved in Fight For Sight. Once I was living in the same city as Black, I could see how important Make-A-Wish was to her (how could you miss the logos on her racecar?). I also saw how it makes such a difference in the lives of children suffering from critical illnesses. And how the power of a wish impacts not only the Wish kid but their families and even strangers, as so many of the wishes bring together neighbors and communities. But the best part may have been as I watched my daughters learn about charity and became involved by having lemonade sales, with all proceeds going to our local Make-A-Wish chapter (find your local chapter). Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I have been involved with Make-A-Wish for decades (for how I first became involved, see our book excerpt, "Can Charity Be Selfish?") and have seen firsthand how it has touched so many lives, starting with Tommy Austin, who granted the first wish in 1980. However, it has done more for me than I can ever do for it. Once you see the hope, joy, and optimism of a Wish child waging a courageous battle — and the ripple effect of that wish — you want to help in whatever way you can (donate, volunteer, fundraise, spread awareness). It reminds me that my problems or frustrations are minuscule in the scheme of things. It is my “reality check” on life. --- ### Help! I feel more like my kid’s chauffeur than parent. **Published:** June 17, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Ask Red & Black **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/question-parents-chauffeuring-kids-2655912528.html.md red head assets.rebelmouse.io Oh, so many parents, myself included, can relate! Now that I’m an “empty nester”, there’s a part of me that misses being needed for something as straightforward as being their personal chauffeur. Right now, it may seem like it’s never going to end, but it goes by so quickly. Trust me. At the time, it would often drive (pun intended) me crazy, and I’d think about all the “lost hours” driving my daughter to volleyball practices and tournaments. But were they really lost, as I now miss that quiet time with her? Black assets.rebelmouse.io Not having children, I can only give you an “outsider’s” perspective. And, I know there are Uber-type transportation services for teenagers, although without doing extensive research on them, I cannot say whether I would have felt comfortable with my nieces using them. However, I remember that once Red’s youngest was old enough to drive, as were some of her friends, Red often replaced time chauffeuring with time worrying. At one time, I suggested making the car a “no cell-phone” zone — but explain that is what you charge for chauffeuring service. Now, I wonder if that should apply to adults, too. --- ### My credit card bills are out of control! What do I do? **Published:** June 17, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Ask Red & Black **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/thoughts-on-credit-card-debt-2659368834.html.md Red assets.rebelmouse.io I can relate. When my husband got fired, Black made me total up all our credit card debt, and I broke down in tears. The funny thing is that before she’d help me deal with it, she insisted on giving me a history lesson on credit cards. And although I love history, initially, I fought her. But I’m so glad she ignored me! To this day, understanding that the origin of credit cards wasn’t a line of credit but instead a convenience (to be paid in full every month) has made a huge difference. But that doesn’t answer your question. I think we all know how easy it is to rack up credit card debt. If you don't already have one, you need a monthly budget to see where you can cut back and apply those “savings” to pay down your credit card bills. Without making this a math class (not my favorite subject), I just memorized that after paying the minimums, I should apply any “extra” money to the credit cards with the highest interest rates (APRs). There’s nothing I can do about the past, but I can start making better decisions today. Black assets.rebelmouse.io I appreciate that “misery loves company,” and recognizing that we all are susceptible to overspending (Nicholas Cage took it to the extreme) helps explain why so many people carry credit card debt. If it makes you feel better, I got in debt over my head shortly after getting my M.B.A. (in International Finance, so I had no excuse). To the point where, although I was making a great salary in a corporate job, I had to take a second job waitressing on weekends to pay down the debt. Am I suggesting you get a second job? No. I am suggesting you look at the numbers and decide how best to “attack” them (maybe even consider debt consolidation to lower the overall interest rate you are paying). Some people suggest paying off the lowest balances first, but that is a psychological approach. As Red will tell you, I am pragmatic and prefer to crunch the numbers and come up with a realistic plan ... and set myself up for success. --- ### My daughter keeps telling me to stop nagging her. But I’m just trying to help her. Can you help me? **Published:** June 17, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Ask Red & Black **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/question-about-nagging-vs-helping-2654644548.html.md Redassets.rebelmouse.io I feel like I should just turn this over to Black, since I’m a mom to two daughters and they’d agree with your daughter about moms and nagging. But how about some advice from my younger daughter?! She’s told me, on more than one occasion, that it would be better if I didn’t feel the need to say something over and over again, that instead of nagging her, say it once, maybe twice, then wait a while and see if she needs another reminder. Or maybe even ask her when to remind her. Which is great advice! But I have to tell you, as a mom, that’s so hard to actually do, although it does work. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io As Red knows, I prefer to ask questions than to give answers. My question for you is, “Would you be more inclined to do something if you were told to or because you were motivated to?” For example, you could “nag” and say, “You keep telling me you are going to find a job, but you do not even fill out the applications.” Or, you could ask a useful question, “I know you want to find a job. What ideas do you have as to how to accomplish that?” It is the difference between nagging and asking questions. When someone wants to do something, it is more likely to happen. But do not believe me … it is actually a proven scientific technique, called Motivational Interviewing, and it works – even for mothers and daughters. And spouses. --- ### My grandmother mentioned having a milkman. Did you have one? **Published:** June 16, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Ask Red & Black **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/having-a-milkman-2663009353.html.md Redassets.rebelmouse.io Funny you should ask, as I remember getting ready for a garage sale of our mom’s things and coming across an old metal carrying basket that I thought was for milk bottles. Although my memory of our milkman is that he left the milk bottles in a small rectangular metal box outside our front door. Anyway, my best memory of fresh milk, especially chocolate milk, was going to Dairy Barn with our dad. It was a drive-through; we’d return the old bottles, get our deposit back, and pick up new ones. I have to admit that when my mom started to get milk at our local Waldbaum’s (anyone growing up on Long Island will remember them) in paper cartons, I thought it was a little sad. Plus, I didn’t think the milk tasted as good. A few years ago, I saw some old-fashioned milk bottles from 1836 Farms at my local Kroger, although it was more expensive, I bought one just because it reminded me of my youth. In fact, when I initially told Black I wasn’t sure I wanted to spend that much on milk, she suggested I could reuse the bottle as a vase. Which was a great idea because the bottle always makes me smile! Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Since you mentioned your grandmother, which makes me feel old, you may have to ask her to explain what we meant when we teased Red, a redhead in a family of brunettes, about being the “milkman’s daughter”. Looking back, “milkmen” and dairy delivery services were ahead of their time. They delivered milk as well as other dairy products, and seem to be a precursor to Instacart, Amazon Fresh, and all the food delivery services. Not to mention, it was a way to reuse the glass milk bottles (remember, this was decades before recycling was a “thing”). Regardless, when we taught at KIPP Houston High School, I asked our students if they had ever heard of a milkman. (Most had not.) And then (of course), I followed up with an assortment of other questions … Can jobs become obsolete? What creates new opportunities? Do you think there may be jobs in the future that no one has ever heard of yet? What can you do to be prepared? So, if nothing else, I hope the milkman makes you stop and think. --- ### It’s June … Blah-Blah-Blah Or Bullet Points? **Published:** June 11, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Banter Bites **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/june-communication-narrative-or-bullets-2672351378.html.md Talking isn't the same as communicating. And hearing isn't the same as listening. Think about it. Being an effective communicator, whether in our personal lives or at work, is a critical skill (Black thinks it's a super-power), but one-size-doesn't-fit-all as we each use very different methods and styles … ranging from lots of words and talking stuffed animals (Red) to bullet points (Black). When Red learned that June was Effective Communications Month, she had to laugh, as the first thought that popped into her head was, Oh, Black will have a field day with this given my tendency to blah-blah-blah. Plus, I don't know how many times she's told me that whatever point I'm trying to make often gets lost in my "sea of words". Of course, when she's told me this in person, I get the added emphasis of seeing her roll her eyes. At least, it's not what I call "The Look", which is a step beyond the rolling of her eyes when you can only imagine what she's thinking, but you know it's not good. But, I digress, which, I guess, is part of my communication "challenge". The fact Red's warm and fuzzy, and likes to couch her words (whether spoken or written) so as not to hurt anyone's feelings, and to provide full explanations to avoid misunderstanding, is a good thing, but is still only half the equation. Communication requires both the sending — and the receiving — of a message. But if the other party isn't listening, it falls on … well, deaf ears. Which often means you repeat yourself (oh, and we all know how our tone of voice changes when we're saying something for the millionth time), and although it may initially have been said with good intentions, ends up being seen as nagging. Black, on the other hand, has never been accused of being quiet or shy, and given her extremely pragmatic business-like personality, has a much more direct communication style. Some of which Red recognizes can be useful, I've often said that you write, talk, and probably even dream in bullet points. And while I might think of them as "abrupt" at times, there's no question that they provide a very clear and succinct way of communicating. Which is why I preface some of my longer emails that cover lots of topics and explanations, with, "I'm borrowing some of Black's beloved bullet points …" So, what's the most effective method? Well, you can spend hours on the internet reading countless articles about the benefits of effective communications, the various types of communications (not everything is verbal and written — think about things like body language and facial expressions), and ways to improve communication skills, but Black tends to look at things slightly backward … The reality is that we each have our own style of communicating, but we need to remember that communication is a two-way street, and the objective is connecting with other people, and sharing thoughts and ideas. Sometimes the best way to get our point across is to work backward and think how the other person will receive what we want to express. And then listening, truly listening, to their feedback. --- ### Black’s Time Management “Secret” **Published:** June 10, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Book Bites **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/blacks-time-management-secret-2650831711.html.md Chapter 9: I'm Too Busy To Make A List Of All The Things On My "To Do" List “Once upon a time” is how fairy tales begin, but once upon a time in Red’s life, she had lots of things to do, but was able to fit everything into any given day. And her worst-case scenario? Something might slide, but it would still get done in a timely fashion. But when her husband got fired, her fairy-tale life ended, and she had to take on more day-to-day responsibilities, which meant Red soon began to run out of hours in the day, the week, the month. Luckily, Black’s advice about how to manage her time, though not an obvious “approach” until it was explained to her, made a huge difference. P.S. – If Red thought she was busy when her husband got fired, she had no idea what busy was until years later, when she had to juggle being a single mom with being the warm and fuzzy half of Red & Black. Struggling with way too much to do and way too little time to do it in, and often feeling like she was getting nowhere fast. (Ever feel like this?) Black would describe it as “spinning your wheels,” and then suggest that Red reread this excerpt … red headassets.rebelmouse.io I do have one question. What exactly did you mean by time management? I understand there's a limited amount of time in the day, but unless I give up sleeping altogether, I'm not sure how to find time to do everything on my lists. I'm already getting up at 5:00 a.m. (and this morning even earlier!) so that I have some quiet time before I start the "mom" thing. Any suggestions? And just this once, skip the smart-ass comments! Blackassets.rebelmouse.io If I could tell you how to create more time in your day, I could make a fortune. There are countless books on time management, but I doubt you will find the time to read one, so I will tell you what works best for me. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Type faster. What's the secret? Blackassets.rebelmouse.io There is no secret. The best you can hope for is to balance the demands of your "To Do" lists against the reality of how much time you have. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Great. Another "clear as mud" comment. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Not really. More like another "statement of the obvious" comment. First, I look at my calendar to see where I have appointments or "non-negotiable" demands on my time. This allows me to visualize where I have open blocks of time. I then review my high-priority tasks to determine what absolutely has to happen —whether on a specific day or sometime in the immediate future — and I get that planned. At that point, I have a pretty good feel for how much unclaimed time there is for me to try to tackle other things on my lists. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Makes sense. In the past, I best-guessed different tasks for different days, often just randomly assigning them. I definitely didn't plan my time, but that might have been because I didn't have as much that needed to get done. It sounds like I need to start thinking about what I have to do in light of what each day holds. Or at least as best as I can predict it. --- ### Can Charity Be Selfish? **Published:** June 9, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** General **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/can-charity-be-selfish-2669133963.html.md Chapter 15: I Need A Warning System Typically, when Red asked Black questions, she received questions in return. Or flippant comments. When Red asked her about charity, and specifically Make-A-Wish, she got straight answers, and that alone got Red’s attention. Before this conversation, Red thought her sister’s involvement with Make-A-Wish was very generous, both of her time and her money, but attributed much of it to the fact that she had surpluses of both in her life. But once Black made her realize that her involvement went back to her corporate life, years when she might have had spare money but was working ridiculous hours, Red gained a new respect for Black’s commitment. But when Black said how it had become her “reality check” on life, Red began to understand that we all need something to help us remember what’s genuinely important. P.S. – It’s easy to treat charity as something we think about during the holiday season or when disaster strikes. But giving can be a year-round commitment, whether that means supporting one organization, helping various charities throughout the year, or celebrating targeted donation days (such as #GivingTuesday or World Wish Day). And whether you’re donating money, time, resources, or helping raise awareness — charitable giving can make a real difference. Not only to the charity but, as Black pointed out to Red all those years ago, for you. red headassets.rebelmouse.io I’m curious about something, though. As children, we were never exposed to charity, so what got you involved with Make-A-Wish? Even Natasha has asked me about Make-A-Wish, because she has seen the kids’ artwork at your house and recognizes the logo from seeing it on your race car. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io It was years ago. I was invited to play in a Make-A-Wish golf tournament, and at the dinner some of the kids came out and told their Wish stories. They mentioned their illnesses and the doctors and the hospitals in passing — as if it was just a minor detail in their stories. But when they talked about their wishes, it was with such excitement and pure happiness that it was overwhelming. A few weeks earlier, I had received a huge bonus at work, and so I was feeling flush with cash, and when I saw the power of a wish — the hope, the joy, the strength it could provide — it made me look at money in a totally different way. When you meet children who are seriously ill and you realize no amount of money can “fix the problem,” but yet something as simple as wishing for a puppy or to meet a celebrity can make such a huge difference in their lives, then you are reminded of what is really important in life. And what is not. red headassets.rebelmouse.io Wow. I don’t think I have ever heard you this passionate about anything. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Probably not. Make-A-Wish has been an important part of my life for a long time. I know I am very fortunate in many respects, but sometimes I get wrapped up in day-to-day life and forget that. I may have problems with one of the cars, or I am annoyed with Larry, or it is just a bad day, Make-A-Wish reminds me that my problems or frustrations are minuscule in the scheme of things. red headassets.rebelmouse.io This is a side of you that I rarely see. I’m impressed. And proud. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Thanks, but Make-A-Wish does far more for me than I do for them. Partly as a substitute for not having children of my own, but more importantly as my reality check on life. It is my constant reminder of what is important. And although I may not be able to cure the kids, the fact I can make their lives a little better by helping grant wishes is the least — the very least — I can do in return. --- ### Parenting Advice From The “Mayor” Of Munchkin City? **Published:** June 9, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Book Bites **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/parenting-advice-munchkin-city-mayor-2655223977.html.md Chapter 16: I Have Three Children If You Count My Husband Even before Red's life was turned upside down, she wanted to be the best mom possible, so often wondered and worried about the best way to raise her girls. And when she was in the midst of her "crisis" (her word, not Black's), her daughters were very young — Sawyer was 1-1/2 years old and Natasha just under 5, although she'd proclaim, "I'm almost 5." (It's funny how "young" is subjective, as at the time Red considered them young, but now "very young".) But as Red turned to Black for "answers" to everything, Black understood one of Red's top priorities was making sure that the girls weren't getting short-changed. Given Black doesn't have any children, Red was amazed to receive what she's referred to as "Some of the best parental advice. Ever." (Black just rolls her eyes.) P.S. – Looking back, Red claims that Black's advice not only made all the difference at the time but over the years. Somehow, the simple concept of treating kids as "little people" (Black calls them "munchkins"), so with respect and honesty, trusting them with responsibility and giving them credit for understanding and doing the right thing, was the closest thing to a "magical approach" for Red (yes, growing up, she and the girls watched a lot of Disney) that she's ever found. And, surprisingly enough, has even helped her with managing "big people." Black assets.rebelmouse.io Patience, grasshopper. You also have to remember that when I first started dating Larry, his girls were 7 and 9, so I skipped over the phase you are in. I had dated men with children, but none as young as Larry's, so I was not quite sure how to deal with them. So, I decided to treat them like little people. In fact, that is why I started calling them the "Munchkins," like the little people from The Wizard of Oz. assets.rebelmouse.io I always wondered about that. Were you the good witch or the bad witch? Black assets.rebelmouse.io Neither. I was probably more like the Mayor of Munchkin City. Since I was used to working in a corporate environment, I applied the same people skills. assets.rebelmouse.io You're kidding, right? Black assets.rebelmouse.io Not really. For example, anytime I was put in charge of a new department or hired new employees, I tried to be patient because I realized people need time to adjust to a new environment and/or new responsibilities. I did not expect them to "get it" immediately. I always tried to pose things as a request versus making a demand. And, I would ask them what they needed help with versus waiting for them to have a problem. I took the same approach with the Munchkins. assets.rebelmouse.io That makes a lot of sense. And what about when Larry and you decided to live together? Black assets.rebelmouse.io Same basic approach. Plus, by moving into a new house, it provided the perfect opportunity to establish ground rules. I even created a document called "Rules of the House." assets.rebelmouse.io You had a list of rules? I love it! Can I get a copy? Black assets.rebelmouse.io The point is not the list, but the concept. I figured they needed to know what was expected of them in our house versus what they might do in their mom's house or had done in their dad's house. The rules also provided consistency — they knew they would not change each weekend depending on my mood or memory. All the rules were reasonable. In fact, most were common sense. assets.rebelmouse.io Such as? Black assets.rebelmouse.io Flush after you use the toilet. Brush your teeth every morning and night. The piano can only be used with permission. assets.rebelmouse.io Those are rules in our house, too, but they seem simple enough that I wouldn't think you needed a formal document. Black assets.rebelmouse.io True. But, I knew employees basically wanted to please management, so I figured kids wanted to please their parents. I presented most of the rules as things to do — not things not to do. For example, instead of saying "no screaming in the house," I said, "loud screaming is to be done outside only." I looked at the rules as an opportunity for them to achieve and succeed, not as a set of restrictions. It also allowed me to teach them priorities. For example, homework had to be done first thing on Saturday, and there was no television or other activities until it was finished. assets.rebelmouse.io Now I'm starting to understand. And what happened if they broke any of the rules? Black assets.rebelmouse.io Initially, they were reminded of the rule and soon they all became habits, but I never focused on punishing them for breaking a rule. Quite the opposite — they earned their weekend allowance by following the rules. I always found it more effective, with the girls as well as employees and even Larry, to reinforce positive behavior rather than punish bad behavior. It can be as simple as a "thank you," complimenting them on their efforts, or maybe even rewarding a job well done. assets.rebelmouse.io For someone with no prior training, you seem to have caught on to the parenting job pretty well. Black assets.rebelmouse.io How difficult is it to be honest and upfront with people about expectations? And, explain what they need to do or not do? And, acknowledge their efforts? I hate to state the obvious, and I know there is a lot about being a parent that I do not have a clue about, but like I said earlier … children are just little people. --- ### The History Of Credit Cards — How Convenient! **Published:** June 9, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Book Bites **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/history-of-credit-card-2653007942.html.md Chapter 8: It's Time To Take Charge Of The Charge Cards Red, the straight-A student who loves history, would normally love to engage in a conversation about history. But in the midst of her crisis, preoccupied with trying to deal with her family's financial situation, she didn't have the desire or see the point in getting a history lesson. And from her sister, no less, who hates history. But that should have been Red's first clue that it would be very pragmatic, highly relevant, and "instantly translatable" to her situation and daily life. P.S. – Black's history lesson would change how Red looked at credit cards, not only then but to this day. And based on feedback from others — men and women of all ages, and even students — something as unexpected as understanding the original purpose of those little plastic cards can dramatically change one’s approach to how to use them. That lesson applies just as much to today’s digital payments, although we both still prefer doing it the old-fashioned way: pulling out an actual card because it acts as a physical reminder Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Quick call. I think it be might be helpful for you to understand the history of credit cards. assets.rebelmouse.io Whatever happened to "Hello?" I'm trying to come to grips with our own personal credit card history, and even that's more than I want to know. I don't think knowing the history of credit cards is going to help me deal with our personal dilemma. I'm not sure anything will help. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io I know you feel overwhelmed, and I have no desire to continually look backward, but sometimes understanding history helps you. It did when we looked at the history of your spending habits. Redassets.rebelmouse.io It doesn't sound like you're going to drop this, so can you at least make it quick? Blackassets.rebelmouse.io First, there were gas charge cards, which eventually led to general purpose charge cards, like American Express. Keep in mind these were charge cards, which meant they had to be paid in full every month. They were created as an alternative to having to go to a local Western Union office to wire for money, which is what people did instead of carrying large amounts of cash or trying to cash out-of-state checks. Then in the late 1950's Bank of America issued the first "credit" card — meaning they were extending credit to the cardholder — and initially promoted it to people traveling, in particular salesmen, who could not easily access their home banks. assets.rebelmouse.io That makes sense. I remember Mommy telling me how when she and Daddy traveled out West in the 1950s for three months, they had to use Western Union to cable Grandma and Grandpa for money on a regular basis. Now this is all very interesting and will be useful if I find myself on a game show, but what, pray tell, does this history lesson have to do with my credit card debt? Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Patience, grasshopper! The point is credit cards were started as a business tool to save time and provide convenience. Credit cards were NOT initially designed as consumer debt or financial aid. assets.rebelmouse.io That may not have been the initial plan, but times have changed. Nick and I, and our mountain of credit card debt, are proof of that! Blackassets.rebelmouse.io True. But if you returned to the original purpose of what credit cards were meant to be — a convenience so that you did not have to write lots of checks or have cash available all the time — you might find that you use your credit cards differently. Rather than looking at them as a line of credit or endless funds to buy things, you would start to view them as simply a convenience tool, nothing more. assets.rebelmouse.io You mean actually pay off what you spend each month? All the time? Do people do that? It's an interesting concept, though perhaps not very realistic, and an entirely new way of looking at credit cards. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Actually, it is a very old way. The original way. And, that is the point I am trying to make. Think about it. Mom and Daddy always paid their credit cards off every month, and even today, Mom only carries about four credit cards, if that many. I think it is important to remember the history — and true purpose — of credit cards. It was extremely annoying when Black was always right. Especially when I thought I finally had the better of her, and then, she proved me wrong. Understanding that credit cards weren't originally intended to be used as long-term debt makes a huge difference. --- ### Black’s First Budget — A Fond Childhood Memory? **Published:** June 9, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Book Bites **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/blacks-first-budget-2649875721.html.md Chapter 5: Open Your Eyes Before Your Wallet To say that Red fought having to deal with her family's finances is a huge understatement. But she finally summoned up the courage to start looking at their financial situation (well, maybe not so much courage as it was surrendering to Black's insistence) and slowly started working her way through Black's six-step "Where Is Your Money Going" checklist. As she prepares to tackle Step 4: Develop A Realistic Budget, Red gets to break some surprising news to Black about a fond childhood memory. P.S. – Red rarely gets the "upper hand" in terms of her older sister, Black, and for it to be related to money makes it even sweeter. Yet, she'll admit that for all the enjoyment of getting to "break the news" to Black, she'd have been better off having the same childhood "punishment" as Black. Redassets.rebelmouse.io OK. I'm ready to tackle Step 4. Is this something we can do via e-mail or do I need to come over and see how you do your budget? Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Here is where I have to say, "Do as I say, not as I do," because I have not done a personal budget in years. But I can remember my first one. Redassets.rebelmouse.io You remember your first budget? You have a strange collection of fond memories! Blackassets.rebelmouse.io It was when Mom put me on a clothing budget. She gave me an amount I could spend every year and wrote it on a big manila envelope. Every time I bought something, I would deduct that amount from the total and put the receipt in the envelope. I always knew how much was left in my budget, so I never had to ask if I could buy something. Mom was brilliant! Redassets.rebelmouse.io You're kidding, right? Blackassets.rebelmouse.io No, it was brilliant. Redassets.rebelmouse.io No, it was a punishment! It wasn't Mommy's way of teaching you about money; it was her way of controlling you. She was tired of you constantly wanting to buy clothing, and so she did it to shut you up. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Are you sure? Redassets.rebelmouse.io Very. Mommy told me the story many times. You loved expensive clothing, so she came up with a number that was less than she was willing to spend and told you that was your "budget." I only liked cheap stuff, so she never gave me a budget. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Then she did you a huge disservice, because whatever the ulterior motive, it was brilliant. Besides teaching me how to budget, it taught me to save for future purchases and motivated me to getpart-time jobs in high school so I would have more money. Which all probably contributed towards making me feel comfortable with finances. I ended up being one of the few women in graduate school majoring in finance and spent the first half of my corporate career in financial planning and budgets. Redassets.rebelmouse.io Fine. You live a charmed life! You're the only person I know who could turn a punishment into a career. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io But remember, I had no idea it was a punishment. Until today. Redassets.rebelmouse.io Which I find hilarious. Especially since everything is usually so damn obvious to you. --- ### Too Much Paper — Not Enough Time **Published:** June 9, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Book Bites **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/too-much-paper-2649483386.html.md Chapter 9: I'm Too Busy To Make A List Of All The Things On My "To Do" List When Red's "crisis" began, she went from her perfect world to one filled with chaos, and didn't know where to start. At the time, Black explained that she needed to focus on only the most important things, so Red's "pretty lists" had been ignored. As was most of the paper that had managed to pile up on her desk (and soon overflowed into piles on the floor). P.S. – Red had thought that after she had “mastered” how to organize her paper, it would mean the end of her mountains of paper. But that was wishful thinking. Even now, there are times when her paper seems to quickly grow from a manageable stack to overwhelming her desk, and sometimes even the floor. And if she mentions it to Black, she usually receives a sarcastic comment suggesting she re-read the excerpt below — while in this animation Black has a different response. Redassets.rebelmouse.io If one big list isn't the answer, what is? And where do I start? And what about everything that's lost somewhere in these mountains of paper? There's no way I can go through all these piles and organize everything into lists. It would take forever! Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Chill! Those mountains are causing you stress due to their mere presence. Those piles of paper represent unmade decisions and incomplete tasks. And as they grow, so does your stress level. Redassets.rebelmouse.io No kidding! Blackassets.rebelmouse.io And if you let them keep growing, you will get to a point where you will have ignored everything for so long that trying to figure out what you really need to do will be such a major project that you will feel totally overwhelmed. Redassets.rebelmouse.io Too late, I'm already there. Any chance I can wave a magic wand and make it all disappear? And start from a clean slate? And a clean desk? And clean floors? Blackassets.rebelmouse.io You and your magic wands! You have been watching too much Disney. If you want to start clean — throw everything away and start over. Redassets.rebelmouse.io That's not an option! I know some things in these piles can continue to be ignored, but I also know there are things hiding in there that are important. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io If you can not throw the piles away you have no other option than to go through them. The good news is it is more important to know what you are ignoring than it is to actually deal with everything in the piles. Make it a two-prong attack. Redassets.rebelmouse.io You have not seen these piles. Two-prong? Try twelve-prong. Blackassets.rebelmouse.io That is one of the things I hate about IM. You can keep interrupting me. Remember when we were doing your expenses and you sorted things into "required" vs. "discretionary?" Well, you are going to do something very similar with these piles. Take a handful off the top and start sorting it into piles based on priority — immediate, this week, next week, next month, next lifetime. If your piles are similar to mine, there will be plenty of non-essential things, such as filing, reading (miscellaneous magazine or newspaper articles) and general correspondence (things with no deadlines). I would start separate piles for those. Once you get that done, keep only the most important piles on your desk. Move everything else to the floor. Then you can focus on what is on your desk and start to put together your "To Do" list based on the priority of these papers. Obviously, if you have items that need to be done immediately, you may have to stop your sorting and handle them, but otherwise keep working. If it makes you feel any better, I bet most of your piles will end up being things you can continue to ignore, or at least that are not important enough to earn a place on one of your beloved lists. In fact, I am sure that most of it will not even make it to your desk! Getting started is the hardest part, but it is something you can easily work on in 15-or 30-minute increments and make slow, but steady, progress. So get off IM and start. Redassets.rebelmouse.io Are you done? Can I say something? Blackassets.rebelmouse.io Yes. Redassets.rebelmouse.io Bye. --- ### Personal Finance Scared Me **Published:** June 8, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Book Bites **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/personal-finance-scared-me-2648946479.html.md Chapter 2: Why Can't Money Grow On Trees? Red was scared, for herself, and for her family. Having to deal with personal finances for the first time is scary. Especially if you believe you need a finance degree to figure it out. Yes, it's human nature to have a fear of the unknown, but feeling you have to face it alone makes it even worse. Red knew that her sister, Black, was there for her, but it wasn't in the "warm and fuzzy" and sympathetic way that Red wanted. P.S. – At some point, almost everyone faces something they would rather avoid, whether it’s financial, personal, or professional. Black’s extremely pragmatic approach and ability to address things head-on may work for her, but Red learned that sometimes, before you can deal with reality, you first have to admit how hard it is to face it. And if you’re expecting banter between Red and Black, then this Book Bite might surprise you … We thought it important to acknowledge that although when facing a challenge – financial or otherwise – Black's extremely pragmatic and likes to address it head-on, Red learned that recognizing how you feel about something can be as important as the specifics of the situation. I knew Black was right – I wasn't going to win the lottery. There was no book that would instantly solve my financial problems. And as Black bluntly told me, sympathy wasn't going to help either. She also made it painfully clear that although I wanted to keep my head in the sand, I needed to face reality. That left me with no choice, but to get on with it. And so I decided I had to do it Black's way. She was doing her best to help me clear my head of the emotional aspects of the situation, trying instead to make me look coldly and honestly at the critical issues we were facing. I knew we were in a huge financial mess, not because of the specific details of our situation, but because neither Nick nor I really knew where we stood. And as uncomfortable as it was, I decided to offer to help Nick with our financial matters. This "transfer of responsibility" was tricky because I didn't have any financial experience. Although I had worked for a number of years before I got married, I never had to spend my money on necessities because I lived with my parents until the day I married Nick. For the next 15 years nothing much changed except Nick paid the bills instead of my Mom and Dad. Then suddenly, I'm being forced to deal with the financial well-being of my family. --- ### Who Describes Themselves With An Excel Table??? **Published:** June 8, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Book Bites **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/describes-themselves-with-excel-2649101392.html.md Introduction If you want to understand Red's character, you can read the introduction of our book, where she uses four full pages and a lot of blah-blah-blah to describe herself and Black. On the other hand, Black, in typical fashion, cut to the chase and provided the book designer with the Microsoft Excel table below. P.S. – Many years later, some of the details on the table may be outdated, but we’re still as incredibly different as when this comparison table was created. What’s funny is how often we hear from people who describe themselves — or their siblings, family members, spouses, friends, and co-workers — as being more Red-like or Black-like. We all have different personalities, but hopefully what we have in common is the desire to understand — and maybe even learn from — each other. Table as of April 2004What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired! --- ### Talking Stuffed Animals? **Published:** June 6, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Book Bites **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/talking-stuffed-animals-2648564701.html.md Chapter 7: My Husband Gets In Hot Water – I Want To Make Soup! Are you a talker? Or do you prefer the written word? Are you the outspoken type, or do you prefer quiet and will do almost anything to avoid conflict? Well, in the best of times, communication between spouses can be challenging. Throw in different communication preferences, and it can seem almost impossible. In this excerpt, Red's in the midst of her crisis, so communicating with her husband becomes even more critical than usual. And what does she do? She further complicates the situation by wanting to communicate differently than she usually does. Talk about a recipe for disaster! P. S. – This excerpt is relevant whether or not you’re going through a crisis. In fact, communicating with others in a way they prefer isn’t only extremely effective but may be one of the “secrets” of good communication. Especially as you can use it in all aspects of your life — family, friends, school, and even in the workplace. Is there any place where you wouldn’t want to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings, stress, and conflict? In fact, we have a short video on this topic that a high school student created from our presentation to his senior class. The message (or maybe it was the photo) resonated with him so much that he made the video. Sometimes I wish I could be more like Black in that she seems to get away with being blunt, almost to the point of being rude, and yet she can pull it off because it is totally "in character" for her. There's a consistency and sense of predictability in how she handles things. And maybe that was part of Nick's and my problem right now. We were acting out of character. I wanted to fight and talk about things while Nick wanted to "retreat." And we really didn't know how to deal with the changes. Which made communication even more important. And challenging! Red assets.rebelmouse.io Good morning. Black assets.rebelmouse.io Is it? Does that mean the love letter worked? Wink-wink. Red assets.rebelmouse.io Haven't written it yet, but I plan to. Black assets.rebelmouse.io Good. Remember when you came back to the States ready to divorce Nick? You were complaining that Nick did not communicate. Red assets.rebelmouse.io Yes. I think I know where this is going, but I hope I'm wrong. Black assets.rebelmouse.io Sounds like you remember the talking stuffed animals. Red assets.rebelmouse.io They didn't talk much, they wrote me letters. Black assets.rebelmouse.io Same difference. Nick communicated his feelings to you through letters "written" by stuffed animals. I remember specifically asking you if you really thought the animals had written to you. Red assets.rebelmouse.io Back then I thought it was cute and amusing, now it would piss me off because I want Nick, and not the stuffed animals, to talk to me. Black assets.rebelmouse.io As I explained then, and it is still relevant, it does not matter how you two actually communicate as long as you communicate. Letters from stuffed animals, e-mails, conversations … whatever works! Red assets.rebelmouse.io OK. I had forgotten how that conversation ended up being a turning point. It helped me understand how we could work together. Maybe I should prop up one of the stuffed animals with the Real Estate section of today's paper and a note "I don't want to live on the street!" Black assets.rebelmouse.io I might change the note to "I need a new home!"But otherwise … whatever works! I never had intended to tell Black about the letters from the stuffed animals, as I thought she would find it childish and immature. It just slipped out. Looking back, I understood they were the best way for Nick to express himself, yet maintain his "proper" appearance. I forgot the important role those letters played. It was as if I now needed to take a step backwards and remember things that helped in the past, before I made decisions about how to move forward. --- ### What's A Book Bite? **Published:** June 4, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** Book Bites **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/whats-a-book-bite-2646188801.html.md Right now, these excerpts come from our bestselling book, What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired! But, over time, we’ll be adding excerpts from other Red & Black books. We struggled with which ones to include, as everyone seems to have a different favorite, and the topics in our book are so varied. (Don’t believe us? Check out the Table of Contents.) So, we decided to start sharing what people ask for most — the stories people seem to enjoy at our speaking engagements, the ones adult literacy educators use in their classrooms, the ones you tell us are entertaining, but also get you thinking. Book Bites aren’t just highlights. They’re stories that resonate and spark conversations. Each Book Bite is meant to stand on its own — to be useful and/or amusing, and worth your time. We hope they not only give you some insight into the very different personalities of Red and Black (if you find Red unbelievably naïve and Black extremely sarcastic, don’t worry, most people do), but also give you different ways of looking at things. WHY ARE WE GIVING AWAY SO MUCH FREE CONTENT? Red initially wondered that, too. But then decided that if these stories helped others, she was good with it. For Black, she finds it very annoying when authors reference an excerpt or a story and then say, “To find out the details, buy the book.” That said, if you do want the full story … you can find What I Learned About Life When My Husband Got Fired! in the Red & Black Shop, including autographed copies. And if you need bulk sales? It’s as easy as contacting Red (the nice one) at Red@RedandBlack.email. --- ### From The Inside: If I Had Known **Published:** June 4, 2026 | **Author:** RED+BLACK | **Section:** General **URL:** https://www.redandblackbanter.com/if-known-prison-rehabilitation-programs-2676808032.html.md Prepare to hear powerful voices and unexpected messages that will stop you in your tracks. What you don’t know can hurt you. It’s about having the information you need to make smart decisions. It’s about second chances. It’s about choices that can change your life. And it comes from inside the prison walls at the Texas Department of Criminal Justice’s Stringfellow Unit. If this fast-paced trailer leaves you wanting more, watch the full 15-minute video at Red & Black: The Stringfellow Story. To buy our bestselling book that was used in this program, click here. 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